General Chat

Bec - stop being so bl**dy thoughtful and nice, and call the Police. He needs a fright, maybe then his family will make him seek help to sort himself out. He is no longer your responsibility and your first concern must be to yourself and your family. Do you want to be another statistic or write-up in the paper? Do other people live near you? If he is depressed or drunk or both, he is capable of anything and should be stopped. You will be doing him and his family a favour if you stop him now, before he gets into worse trouble. Sorry to be harsh, but for heaven's sake, phone. I once had to drive off in the night in my nightie to the Samaritans office for them to call the Police when I was being threatened by an ex who had talked his way into my flat and then started threatening me. The Police came back with me and went in to see him and he had tidied up and tried to tell them it was me went for him with a knife, which he had put under the pillow on my bed. Luckily they knew him of old and took him off to his brother's house so I was safe that evening. Please Bec stop us all worrying and call the cops. (Might get a hunky one who would frighten him away and be your protector!!)

Liz - he's been quiet for a while now and he's working early so he's probably in bed. Will speak to his sister tomorrow and think about going to the police. I'm sure he wouldn't do anything (the security at my flats is iron-tight) but he needs to learn he can't threaten me! Thanks for caring, love becx

Bec, does he live with his parents? Nicky.x

If you think he would do it - call the cops. If you think he is being stupid call his parents - then call the cops Peter

Nicky - Yes I'm still very close to them (eg. saw them at a social function on Friday and his dad said how they still love me as a daughter and are there for me whenever I need them), hence why I feel bad putting them through the stress of seeing their son being cautioned by the police etc. Feel really stuck! becx

Night Bec, hope you manage to get some sleep. I know you are closely involved with his family and are in a difficult position but he has to back off and leave you alone, once and for all. Tke care, Liz x

Thanks Liz Peter - It's like dealing with a child who calls Wolf. I don't believe he'd necessarily do anything BUT he needs to learn he CANNOT threaten vulnerable people (he knows how I feel about living on my own). A telling off from his parents will make no difference, I just wonder whether a visit from the Police might make him realise he's an adult and needs to face the consequences... becx

If it was me i would call them now! that would teach him, but if you really feel you can't and your sure your safe tonight then you must speak to his family and make sure they understand you WILL phone the police and show them the threats Nicky.x

Nicky - I think I will leave it until the morning, and then speak to his sister, I will tell her that the reason I HAVEN'T gone to the police is because I care about the family BUT if he continues contacting me then I will do, and get an injunction if I have to. thanks for your input honey, love becx

right i'm off to bed then you take care and make sure you do speak to his family in the morning. night Nicky.xx

Bec, Morning babe, you know you have to do the 'right' thing and get this sorted. Not for his parents peace of mind, but YOURS! It doesn't matter how close you are to his family, at risk of losing their friendship, he has to be stopped before he does something stupid. Magi

Bec, Why do you still let him text you? Block him and tell him what you have done and why. Explain the same to his parents. You are still allowing him to have some control over your life and he is enjoying that. If he can't text you he can't get a reaction from you. Auntie Gwynne

Maybe not a serious threat- possibly more green eyed monster ''Its her birthday,.... she doesn't want me, .....i'll spoil her birthday....'' Dont mean to be a bore, but, take care when you go out to celebrate at the weekend especially if he knows where you are likely to party.You said yourself you are going out with 8 blokes.... Rule 1, from an oldie...DONT react. Dont give him the satisfaction. Jess x

Bec I would show the texts to the police and then speak to his family, telling them why you have done it, and that you want the harassment stopped. But personally, its between you and him, and not his family. If they care about you they should understand why you want it stopped quickly and painlessly. By telling the police, its not going to hurt him, or them. All they will do is warn him not to harass you, then you have a basis to start from if he continues to harass you. Elaine x

Hi Bec, What a nasty piece of work this guy sounds! You are well rid of him, of course, but his nose seems very much out of joint because you still have a good relationship with his sister and his parents, so he's being spiteful to you - and, knowing that you'll be on a high on your birthday, he wants to knock you down. Some people are like that - they know when to strike for maximum effect - despicable! As others have said, you ought to block him from contacting you in any way at all, and I think you should make his sister and his parents fully aware of his behaviour towards you. If he lives with his parents, they obviously communicate with him, so they may be willing to give him the sound advice he needs. If he was mine, I'd give him the ear-bashing he deserves and threaten to throw him out! If you really feel frightened and you think he's not just making empty threats, you have to inform the Police, but if I were you, I'd talk to his sister and/or parents about it first. Whatever you decide to do, take the utmost care to lock your doors and windows, and ask your neighbours to tell you if they see anyone acting suspiciously near your home. If they're unable to tell you immediately, they should report what they see to the Police. Try not to worry, and give us a :>)! >*|*< XXX

Hi Bec Police would give him a gipsy's warning first, if requested, but would keep a file of the report so if he did continue to harass you ... Forward the texts to his sister as well. She may be able to give him a kick up the backside and is in a better position to tell her parents what has been going on Beth :)

The first week of november a person I know had their house torched. 6, 30litre gerry cans were found in the house, It was done whilst the occupant was out of the house, no lives were threatened. The insurance company will not payout becuase it was a criminal event. Some people do not know where to stop and you may not find out until too late. Please make sure that you start a process with the police, show the evidence, get it logged at least. Jules

You have been given such good advice Bec, there is nothing to add. But Gwynne is right, do not allow him to text you again. Take care...Big hug...XX BC

Bec, Just seen this. Don't take ANY chances. Call the police. Paul xxx

i had a similar problem with one of my bros old friends. He wanted me and when he couldnt have me i was getting calls and texts saying awful things, like how he was going to cut my face up after doing various other disgusting things to me. He also threatened to fire bomb my brothers car, so i went to the police. I showed them the texts and let them listen to the answerphone messages. I had a choice whether or not to take him to court, but as my brother was aboput to begin his police training he didnt need the aggro, so they gave me a number to call to change my mob number for free. best to go to police