General Chat

Which are you? Do you let yourself get walked over so as not to upset others ( family, friends, bystanders) ...or do you explode regardless of the fall-out?

Which do you think is better for your peace of mind long term? are you of the 'let it all out, you'll feel better' persuasion...or the 'keep it to yourself, let it go' school of thought?

The 'walk away'...or the 'throw something' lol

xx

it depends ont he situation, somtimes im a door mat, and sometimes i explode lol,

i tend to stick to the middle n put my point across then walk away seething haha x

It depends on the circumstances, our Rose.

When I'm working with children and young people I'm very patient and rarely lose my rag. Although I pretend to sometimes, just as a warning shot across their bows.

With OH I explode instantly and so does he, then 10 minutes later it's over and forgotten.

I think I let my parents walk over me a bit but they were old and needed support, so I don't mind and have no regrets now they are no longer here.

At work I can be very "assertive" if it's called for but never get a strop on. I say what I think needs saying then get on with it.

One thing that enrages me beyond reason is stupidity. I have no tolerance for stupid adults who should no better and go from zero to bitch in 5 seconds.

I also cannot be doing with people pretending to be something they aren't. I hate snide almost as much as I hate stupidity.

Edit - I also canot tolerate having my intelligence underestimated or my powers of perception. Especially by stupid people.

Gwynne

i am deffo nobodys doormat

I tend to keep things to myself but will eventually explode, if things do not improve. Woe betide anyone that is in my way then..... not nice. :((

I have been keeping my own council about a certain matter for over twelve months now and often have to give myself a good talking-to because if I said anything the fall-out would affect a number of people, not least myself. My tongue is very ragged from all that biteing.

I used to be very laid back but in the last ten years or so I have changed ... can't even blame it on PMS anymore. lol

I'd say i was 99.9% a ticking time bomb

Different circumstance will promote a different reaction,but wont wash over when it needs to be put in place.so no doormat here..

.Oh and me have never ever had an bad arguement or fell out,,hard to belive but its true !!! we can have opinions but no wars about it or going off in a strop.}}.

I was talking to an old family friend yesterday, I love her to bits, have known her since I was little and she has never changed She always makes me laugh with stories of when she lost her temper ( I especially liked the throwing shopping at OH incident lol and the image of the butter sliding down the door ;)) They are very very happy together, both having that bit of a spark lol.

But she was telling me of a recent incident which upset her, when they were out shopping a big chap was shouting at his dog to 'stay' ...when he came out of the shop he punched it in the face and then kicked it...my friend shouted at him and would have really had a go physically but she was 'frozen' in the car seat...fortunately probably as her OH said the bloke might have gone for her, they are both in their 70s and not in good health. She is still very upset, because she wasn't able to do anything.

It just gave me to thinking generally, whether the people who 'let it out' stay healthier generally.

Libby, that is the problem isn't it? that 'third parties' can get caught in the fall out.

xx

Hello Rose and all, I have walked away from this thread and gone outside to do abit of painting, and abit of thinking.
I would like to think that, in my old (er) age LOL, I have become more tolerant.
But as Gwynne has said, I cannot stand crass stupidity, nor snideness. Equally, I cannot abide bad manners, particularly please and thank you. There is no excuse for not remembering your manners, especially when asking for something, or asking someone to do something for you.
As regards the OH, we soon 'blow' at each other, but I think alot of that is down to us both becoming a little harder of hearing, and never sure if one or the other has actually said something.
I would have reacted in the same way as your friend did Rose. I cannot understand why people have dogs in particular, to be violent to them, anymore than I can understand why people who are on benefit, for example, having large nasty breeds, which they cannot control, and can hardly afford to feed. I see alot of this around here, and it never ceases to amaze me. It is as if it is part of their image.
On the other hand, somethings, which are nothing to do with me or my family, and perhaps are in the media, can bring out the sentimental side in me.
I suppose I can be both, soft and hard (ish), but, I will not be walked on, and I will not knowingly be used, anymore than I will tolerate someone making remarks to stir up trouble.
Julia in Derbyshire

lol Julia, I think as I age I grow less tolerant ( the bit 'in the middle' I got very soft and was trampled over a fair bit lol ). I don't like to see people taken in, as I know how much it has affected me to find 'false friends' using me .

I hope the owner of the dog gets what he deserves, you do see a lot of dogs bought as status symbols, particularly those of the bull terrier variety... " don't I look hard".

My friend is a life long lover of animals, her dream would have been a place in the country to rescue them, but she has more than done her bit in the past when and where she could.

The recently-taken-early-retirement-in-order-to-live-off-my-shoe-budget person with whom I share living quarters asked if I'd mentioned my apostrophe obsession. So I will.

I hate poor spelling, grammar and punctuation - especially wrongly used apostrophes. I don't mean on forum boards, I hasten to add, that only makes me twitch a little bit.

But on signs, in newspapers, books, leaflets etc etc I quickly become enraged to discover they haven't been proofread properly.

Gwynne

I would have ploughed in and have done when I saw the very same at the coast one time a youth with a pitbull type dog it wouldnt sit and the lad put his foot in the middle of its back and forced it down poor thing yelped and off I went full force along with a few other people ,,,with a good few explictics exchanged my voice louder than anyone elses,}along came an p.man and give him what for! took his name and addy and promised a report to RSPCA,,,I was sickened to the core how anyone could do this to a poor animal.

I do this often when I see a mischief being done,}}}}}one day I'll get a punch in the mouth, but hey ho.!

Gwynne

Im a bit of a dunce so don't know what punctuation is for what....& try as i might i don't know when to use one of these ! lol.

Rose...I have to agree about being less tolerant as i have got older especially since i've been driving...i am totally surprised i haven't been punched in the gob cos i know if i ever came across me i would do it lolol

More towards the ticking time bomb end of the scale though I can keep my temper and what little patience I was blessed with sometimes. Never a door mat though, ever.

I am a very 'laid back' sort of person But I won't be taken for a mug...so I am not a door mat or a ticking time bomb. I am sort of in the middle! lol

I am mostly laid back... but when ignited... well, let's just say stand well back!! I erupt.

I am generally very forgiving, too... and will help anyone out with anything if I am able to do so.

But I hate to be taken for a ride. That I will never ever forgive. If I find out that someone I cared a great deal for has used me or manipulated me for their own ends through lies and deceit, I am neither a doormat, nor a volcano. I withdraw from them, totally. They are never forgiven, unless I find REALLY extenuating circumstances. Fortunately this is rare.

But I do hate double standards, and deliberate ignorance and stupidity... the nasty kind, as there is not a child born who is stupid, some just learn in a different way to others, and that goes for adults, too. So the stupidity I am talking about is the nasty snide and double dealing stupidity. Which is learned behaviour.

I am becoming a little less tolerant. I don't think it is increasing age, I think it is to do with recent experiences. I have to learn how to be more selfish, and cut out those who cause me stress of the wrong kind, lolol

Take care

Love

Daff with the wandering apostophe's and stuff ;¬)) I used to know where they all went, lolol

Neither really, although both in the past! I tend to keep my own counsel these days, and try to weigh up things in my own mind (hopefully seeing both sides of a situation) before saying owt. Luckily my own family are pretty easy going.

Regards the dog mentioned below, I would probably have acted in the same way - it is one of my 'triggers'. Another is littering - OH had to 'restrain' me once from having a go at 2 (very large) men who had just chucked their fast food wrappings on the pavement!

I would say in the past I was defintley a door mat and used to hide the fact which was totally embarrassing to myself, I knew what was happening but was never strong enough to move forward and live my life the way I wanted....

I wanted everybody to be happy apart from myself.....thats now changed thank goodness.........:o)

Thanks to my family and a few friends some of whom I lost because of how I was......

Onwards and upwards for me !!!!!

I have never been a doormat. Being brought up with five brothers,I had to be strong! But,sadly, my plate throwing days seem to be over as I get older and find less to get angry about. But I am still quite capable of being assertive when necessary ,thank goodness:-) BCXX

I dont like Arguing . but will if i have to
but at the same time i wont just lay down and take anything that someone wants to throw at me .so a door mat i'm not
a ticking time bomb i'm not, so iv'e got to be in the middle lol
Hazelx