General Chat

see below

Neighbour 3 doors down has threatened my son with an anti social behavior order,,,,because he has played out twice this year playing football with a couple of friends. No damage done no windows hit. No abuse No bad language Ball was not being kicked high. I was watching them & keeping an eye in case the ball went high She has said she will put his name down in a diary EVERY time he is seen outside playing football.. And the more times he is outside with a ball....the better it is for her and her asbo diary !!! On monday she came out to them threatening asbo & court orders ect 3 times. This is to 3 ...10 year olds !! My son is a polite lad, who if he was annoying anyone, would stop immediatly. He is a model pupil at school, & well liked by his peers and the teachers. So much so, he was asked along with 3 other pupils to be ambassadors for the school, and open the Gibbard gallery at the town civic centre. He did a speech too. Their photo should appear in next weeks local rag. Ive been so upset the last few days....my sons name will be trashed for no reason Elaine x :o((

Unfortunately Elaine some sad people have got nothing better to do with their lives. How about keeping a diary yourself of when your son goes out to play footie and every time she comes round threatening you. Or if you have a local bobbie you could have a word in his ear. Jeanette x

Some people are so sad,why dont they give kids a chance if they are playing leave them to it. Dave

People like this really sicken me. Some kids last year were running riot around the streets swearing screaming till 2am and nothing was done , wardens and police arrive only to tell them to go home. Yet innocents playing footie in the street are picked on by small minded people like your neighbour has she got kids by any chance? suex

Oh God Elaine What a horrid neighbour you have. I'm sure you little lad means no harm, kids should be allowed to play, Jan

The thing is... She never came to me complaining about my son,....she threatened THEM with an asbo order. I have lived in my house for almost 13 years now, and she has been here longer. Ive nothing against her telling the kids that the football is getting out of hand ( I would do the same if it was) and if they continued, come to me & ask me to have a word with him, and I would do so, But to pass a threat onto kids, who are doing no wrong...is wrong. So I did go down to her on monday and had a go at her for insinuating my son is a thug and troublemaker. I also had words with her last night, she came out to my friend who lives opposite me and started talking about asbo & football....in front of me as we were out talking...so I lost it and had another go about the kids doing nothing wrong. I was so upset last night, and its the first thing I thought about this morning so am upset again. By the way, there is NOT a no ball games sign outside on the green outside my house. The council refused to put one there some years ago, as they cant enforce it. She said the kids are NOT allowed to play football. Yet last year her 5 year old grandson played footie with the others out there, and if he couldnt get the ball, would kick my sons shins hard with his foot to get the ball. ( causing my son to stop playing because he was getting hurt ) I am feeling so low & tearfull now............. I just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel E x

Elaine It may be a good idea to keep a diary yourself jotting down a record of where your son is. you then have your own record of where he was in case she falsly accuses him. A neighbour of mine came knocking saying my son had been climbing up the lamp post otside his house the day before, lucky we had been away all that day, so I could put him straight and it turned out to be a child staying with some relations in the street. Some people are so sad and trivial. TC

elaine, can you camcorder your son playing footie outside, with his friends. when this other woman logs date and time in her diary, you have logged your son playing without causing a nuisence. back this all up on to a vhs tape and keep it quite until it's needed.

Elaine, I would not worry, a person can't just ask for an ASBO to be granted just because they don't like children playing football outside their house. Next time point out to her that the government is trying to encourage kids to take exercise, and so it is her that is being anti-social. With people like her around, no wonder kids give up & go back to their playstations!!!!!

Hello Elaine, Dosn't this person have any children? At least they are not trashing people's property. Some people need to get a life and let children be children. Sue..........................don't worry your son is a normal child.

If you have a CPSO have a word with them, and hopefully they will have a word with this 'disturbed' woman brenda

As was suggested earlier on the thread Elaine...fight the law with the law...ignore the silly woman...go and tell your story to a solicitor...he will probably suggest a strong letter being sent to her... and he will tell you she doesn't know what she is talking about. I have an adventure playground opposite my home and the kids play there all day...and outside with balls and everything...if I tried what she is trying...I would be a sad , sad, miserable old woman...BUT I DON'T...I enjoy watching them all and only wish I was young enough to join in. Like you Elaine...their parents keep an eye on them and they are mostly fine when playing. The ball comes in my garden time after time...but as long as they close the gate...well..what harm is there? So...go and see that solicitor!! Anne :)) ((((((((((hugs )))))))))))))) Don't upset yourself for this miserable *** of a woman!!

Elaine As far as I am aware it is only the council who can apply for an ASBO, and this will not happen without a great deal of investigation. My suggestion would be to make an appointment with your local housing office and ask them if they can intervene/assist you. In the meantime try not to worry too much - easier said than done, I know. Take care Jane

Elain, do you have a cam corder or access to one, if so record each time you son and his friends are out playing, don't tell the kids you are going to do this, also make sure time and date are recorded on the recording, this may come in useful to prove that they only playing and not causing trouble like she say's, enough proof could result in her getting a warning and not the kids, what ever happens I hope it gets resolved soon, so that the kids can get on with being kids again. Bev

Hi Elaine, I know you are upset but this woman is living in a dream world. ASBOs are only given to persistent offenders who have been known to the police for their threatening, criminal, violent and anti-social behaviour. They are and would not be given to someone who plays football. If I were you I would knock on her door and tell her this and say that if she threatens you or your son again then you will report HER to the police. She is a bully and you know that standing up to bullies is the only answer. I KNOW that you know this!!! Above all, try not to let this worry your son. Tell him just to ignore her as she is obviously not all the ticket! Continue to praise him for his achievements and he will continue to achieve. STAY CALM!!!! Come on here if you want to let off steam! Maz. XX

This neigbour sounds really 'Sad'. A small boy kicking a ball around on a bit of grass is, well, what small boys do! It sounds as though she is seeking attention and can't really compete in an adult world and picks on the children. Just remeber this- NO-ONE can serve an ASBO on anyone unless theyare exhibbiting AB! Irritating-maybe, annoying-possibly, Anti-social - NO! To avoid conflict can't he play somewhere else?avoid the conflict which is what she probably enjoys - sad tho' that be. (no I'm not sticking up for her and at least it would show that you are trying , should it go any further) then if she continues picking on your lad you have grounds to take it further. jess

Elaine Sorry, what a horrible neighbour you have, I would check with the local council myself just to make sure she hasn't already complained to them, she sounds like the type to do that and I would log a complaint myself about her anyway, because what your receiving is a form of Harrassement. I know as we get older our sense's can enhance? but she's going over the TOP, Big time, I hear every scream the Girls from the house at the bottom of my garden make which I wouldn't have heard a few years ago when mine were out doing the same but I certainly wouldn't dream of complaining to them or their parents, its only for a short time and atleast they are happy and safe. Keep smiling Carrie

Elaine is it a council house you are in? If so, keep your own dairy of her abuse of your son, and his 3 to 10 year old GANG! But go up to the council and tell them you are having this problem, you may find that SHE has a record of this. Deanna

Elaine If you've tried to approach her and asked that she direct any complaints she has about your sons 'behaviour' to yourself (rather than a child who doesnt have the ability to defend himself) and she continues to do so she herself is causing harrassment. There should be a section in your local council that deal with neighbourhood disputes. In mine its Environmental Health that do it (as an extension of Noise Nuisance). They should operate a mediation service whereby someone (and its usually an organisation outwith the council) will conduct meeting between the two of you so you both get the chance to discuss your concerns with the situation. I'd put a call into teh council first thing Monday morning and speak to the people that deal with it Zoe