General Chat

Elaine..I was going to add this last night but couldn't ..anyway...this woman needs to be told..TO GET A LIFE..go and see your local Councilor..he will be glad of the work at this time of year !! tell him of this harrasment..I t realy annoys me when people like his forget that they were once children..She should count her lucky stars you children are well behaved and not the lunatics that she could be living beside...because they do exsist belive me I see them every night.. There now I'm calm now Anita XX

Aside from how appalling it is for someone to be threatening a child, isn't it a sad state of affairs when a few kids can't kick a ball around on a bit of communal land ? When I was a kid we were always kicking a ball up and down our road... of course there's always one that complains, and there was one for us too, but noone really took her very seriously, including our parents. Hope you get it sorted Elaine

Hi Elaine I'm really sorry you're going through this. We had awful neighbours at one house and it was so upsetting, so I know how you feel. I think it's a good idea for you to keep a diary, and certainly contact the council in case they already know about this woman - definitely sounds like she's the problem. Keep your chin up hun, Love and hugs, Mandy xx

Elaine I had the same sort of thing happen when my kids were young this lady down the road (I will call her a lady because I am on the threads if you know what I mean) would wait untill they were coming down the road from school sit behind her net curtain then pounce, I use to tell my two just ignore her, but then she started calling the police saying my son was running a stick down her fence, the Police use to say she is old she cant help it, in the end my two use to cross over the other side of the road just to keep clear of her, but I swear this use to wind her up even more, in the end I had a solitiors letter sent to her for harrassment, she stopped then but started on another couple of kids. Good Luck and well done for your patience. Debs xx.

if thats the case elaine she cannot do anythingxxxxxx(:

Elaine, you have my support. What a nasty piece of work that neighbour is. I like the suggestions of keeping a diary yourself. Chin up, Glenys x

Elaine So sorry you're having such problems with your neighbour. Very little I can add to all the helpful suggestions you've already had, but it sounds as though your son is well liked and respected and is doing nothing more than being a child having fun. Exactly what he should be doing. She is clearly the one with the problem which she is blowing out of all proportion presumably to fill some sort of gap in her life. Her behaviour towards your son and his friends is unacceptable and I think the previous advice to mention it to your local bobby is a good one. I'm not surprised you're upset and hope that the messages of support you've had today have helped a little. Daisy

Hi! dont worry. A hsbo cannot just be served by one person like that. Your son is not being anti social by playing football however she is harassing your son. If it was me I would keep a record and it wouldnt hurt talking to the police. I have a boy age 7yrs he loves to play out on his skateboard, bike, scooter football or what ever he decides to play with. He plays in the street happy and safe which is what children should be doing. She has forgotten what its like to a child, she sounds like a miserable old battleaxe.

Back again. Not a crime to play football in the street - but an offence non-theless - if anyone wanted to push the law to it,s limits. Again, almost certainly a caution if that was done. sorry to be a bit negative. happy days

Apparently, according to my next door neighbour, throughout the years they have caused lots of trouble with neighbours (now gone) 2 families dogs have been reported for barking all day at different years. One lady even gave her dog away, but it turned out it was this womans husband throwing stones at the dog in the garden. so every time the dog came out & he was there, the dog barked at him ! And he was caught running a pencil along the other neighbours fence, upsetting the dog ! I just feel so helpless in all of this. But I have told my son its not him Im angry at as hes done nothing wrong at all. E x

She sounds like a bully to me who just enjoys threatening defenceless kids, She obviously has no idea what she is talking about when she threatens the kids with ASBOs and is just intimidating them. Why not turn the tables on her and tell her you're going to report her if she continues to harrass your child? Sounds to me like she's just all mouth

Harry It is as exactly as I say. Playing football twice this year....no damage...no rudeness... No ball going up into the heavens. Ive got no reason to lie, my lad is a good lad, and if he did wrong he would be punished. Kids have been playing footie outside every year I have lived here. My son has never damaged property while playing footie. If he had, I would have been the first to know...and to pay for the damage ! In fact if anyone has a problem with kyle, then if it is upsetting them, approach ME not my child....do NOT threaten a child with ASBO and court letters ! Jenny Thank you for the info, I will keep you informed if anything comes of it all. I just really feel as low as I can get today. Just had another weep E x

Sympathise with you a lot - as one who persistently kicked a tin can around in the old days. People are giving you good advice but my feeling is that you are in a no win situation. I f the facts are EXACTLY as you state , there would be no chance of an ASBO. At the end of the day, sadly, playing football in the street is against the law. You might get your neighbour to court, but the police would therefore be obliged to take some action against your son. (probably a caution). Hope it works out. Happy days

ONLY ....Police, Local Authority and Housing Associations have the power to take out ASBO's. The Courts will only order them upon evidence of substanciated harrassment, nuisance and usually some criminal behaviour. They have to have the agreement of the Police and Local authority. Before any action is taken. The Police/Local Authority,will seek to mediate between the disagreeing parties. Individuals have NO powers. Individuals are free to take out their own private prosecutions but this would be limited to injunctions and would not be awarded against a MINOR. A Home help/Carer would know nothing about such enforcement matters. Seek advise from the Local Authority, about the unreasonable behaviour of the women who is frightening the child. They have every right to play on the grassed area if there is not a 'No Ball Games Notice'displayed. Kids play football at weekends and lighter nights. It is a very common source of irritation amongst more mature and elderly people. But they need to bear in mind that they are living in family houses that include children. *********************************************** I have got this information from my husband, who is the Housing Manager for a Council in Northumberland. Jenny. PS. It is very difficult for a Council to get a 'No Ball Games' notice put up. Due to BY-Laws.

hi elaine. i went through the same thing a few years ago. i do remember how it got me down too. my boys were about 7 and 9 at the time. she was the only one who complained, the other neighbours said they enjoyed watching kids enjoying themselves. they were the only 2 kids on the cul de sac. the green in the middle was almost as big as a football pitch ! in the end , i paid for a solicitors letter sending to her. it was worth every penny ! didnt get a peep out of her after that. if it is causing you distress, and you KNOW you are in the right- do the same as i did. this is threatening behaviour, and could be frightening some of the younger children ! the old witch needs a bit of a scare herself ! my youngest is 9 now, and no way is he allowed out of my sight, so i agree with you totally on that score. let us know how you go on. sue. [ why not print this thread out, and post it through her letterbox ! pmsl- she might get the drift that she is the neighbour from hell]

ps she also said she is collecting names of other neighbours. E x

The other boys were with kyle when she told them about the asbo. The threat was for them all. She has told me Kyles name is on her peice of paper, and that is the only one im concerned with. The other parents are aware of the situation, one of them has confronted this woman & there is nothing he can do as shes not filming their son. Lisa The boys are playing in front of their own houses (well kyle & his mate next door)We live in a square of houses with communal patch of grass in the middle This woman lives the far end of the square. On the same side as us. one house before the corner house. So rarely gets direct contact from the kids or the ball, sometimes the ball may roll onto her peice of grass, but no damage has been done, and nothing has been done to warrent her even mentioning asbo to my child. My child and his friends were doing no wrong, so I dont see that they should be bullied into going elsewhere, and be called anti social ! There is no 'no Ball games' signs up. Years ago the council refused this as they were unable to impose it. If there was we would abide by it. This woman said that the courts will send court summons to my door for asbo. But it is HER that is asking them to do it by complaining. Elaine x

Write to the council and get written confirmation that ball games are not prohibited. Show it to her. Talk to the parents of the other boys and see if she has been threatening them as well. They may well be prepared to let their sons be filmed. Even if you don't, the next time she comes round with her 'I'm taking notes' speach, imply that you ARE recording them. Unless she has proof of damage caused by the boys, then the council are unlikely to take the complaint of one person seriously. Noise is quite a tricky complaint to assess, whereas smashed wing mirrors are much more convincing. If the noise were truly excessive then the whole street would be complaining.

What a sad person your nieghbour is.. thats what boys do, play football. god if we did that to every boy in my road my son included the courts would be full. Pat

i agree asbo cannot be given out like that.only if the children are giving her abuse.might be wise for the boys to play away from her house elainexxxx(: