General Chat

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Where do I go next! Son has problems with concentration and gets very frustrated as he starts saying something and then forgets what he is saying. He is very repetitive in some thing like when on phone walks round and round the carpet in circles. He is 9 but would rather play with things that are for younger children and with younger children.. Have started letting him out the front to play but he sees no danger and will ride his bike straight into the road. He is very uncoordinated and recently had an accident on his bike as he came off straight into some iron gates. He is easily led and the children round here rip the p… out of him and push him around and instead of standing up for himself he comes home in tears. On holiday he was going off not seeing any dangers ie rocks and the sea. At school he is below average for his age and has a SNP which gives his extra help and extra thinking time. Took him to Doctors last year as was worried about him and he sent him for blood tests and asked that I got the school to get him to see an educational phycologist. School wouldn’t do that straightaway as they only have a few hours a year with them so wanted all the other avenues explored first. After a 7 month wait he saw a speech and lang therapist in May who then went to school to see him and the only explaination I’ve had so far is it seems to be his short term memory and that gets overloaded so he forgets. Have heard no more. He was seen by a dietician and he has an adversion to food textures and tastes and is just a case of going with what he will eat. Cut out chocolate and additives as they make him hyperactive. I seem to be getting no where, all I want is for him to get the help he needs so he doesn’t get too far behind and is happy, I don’t want him going to his next school in 2 years having all the same problems. Where do I go next? Is it worth going back to doctors and asking for help again. I’ve sat here this morning worrying how he will get on next year at school as his teacher is quite strict and not sure if he will cope with it. Any thoughts appreciated. (sorry for rambling)

Hi Dawn, Insist that your son sees an educational psychologist as soon as possible. And that he gets a statemen of his needs. I think you can go via the GP as well as the school. There is obviously something that needs diagnosis before he can get the help he needs. Gwynne (teacher)

I don't really have any help but as a mother of a child who was bullied mercilessly at school I just wanted to say that things do get better and I now have a lovely 19 year old son who has friends and is happy. Good luck with yours. Julie xxx

definitely go back to the doctors and keep going back until they do something have you tried alternative methods ie chiropractor - just that i read somewhere that a lady had all sorts of problems for most of her life and was unable to work did badly at school etc but went to a chiropractor who sort out some misalignment problems and it changed her life - just a thought to keep trying all alternatives until you find the answer good luck hevi x

Hi Dawn talk to your health visitor they are usually much better then a gp for recognizing problems and helping u. Explain to her all your worries and she will help u with who might be best to help your son and I think they can make their own referrals to specialists as well. Julia

Hi Dawn - the school are obliged to refer your son to the ed psych. I had a battle and a half getting that done for my eldest because once a statement of needs is made the school are obliged to follow up with the appropriate teaching etc and they often prefer not to do that. Your GP should refer you on as well. I had a lot of what you have described with my eldest. If you want to talk to me just message.

Dawn, I really wish you would go to the adders.org website, it would help you SO much. Not sure what it is with your son. Certainly having no fear of dangerous situations is an ADHD trait as is short term memory. Can he recite the months of the year in order or the days in the week? (At 10 my son would forget May and October, even though May was his birthday month). Why is he behind at school? In what way? Whats his writing and reading like. Can he do times tables. Is he a loner? Does he lose everything? Does he know left from right? Can he remember when things happened - what day, what sort of time span? My son was above average IQ but 5 years behind in reading and writing - he has ADHD/severe dyslexia and autistic traits. If you arent getting anywhere with the school then demand to see the governor in charge of special needs there. Demand from your LEA that the educational psychologist assesses him for special needs. Contact Parent Partnership. Go back to your GP and ask for an appointment for your local CAMHS - children and adolescent mental health team for an assessment. AND please go to the adders.org website for lots and lots of info and support.

Back to the doctor Dawn and keep pushing for him to be seen, Community Paediatrician or child psychologist. Keep on at the school too, don't let them fob you off. You can request statement assessment yourself, it is not up to the school, have been thru all this myself. Good luck Lisa

Thanks for all your replies. Will phone doctors this afternoon for an appointment can't do now as have to go to Hydrotherapy (we're a good family aren't we) People keep saying Statmented what is that? Sorry for rambling earlier didn't help that when took tiddler to nursery she cried and clung onto me. Dawn

Statement of Special Educational Needs, if your lad is struggling at school this will help, issued by the LEA, school will get extra money to put things in place for him, its a legally binding document so they have to abide by it. Write to LEA request a statutory assessment of special educational needs, giving your reasons why. Lisa

Hi Dawn, Which county do you live in? Gwynne

OH Dawn, please go to adders.org as everything you need to be explained is there. It will give you help in writing to the LEA, ways of getting support in any meetings with LEA/school. Statemented is when the child is assessed for special needs and a statement is produce by the LEA and agreed by you for extra provision for his special needs.

Heather In his tests hes just had (just finished year 4) he came out at level 1. If he is interested in things hes ok like science/history but then to get him to write it down is an impossibility. Bought his books home and one of the comments in there is 'expect more writing than this try harder next time' he had written 3 lines in the whole lesson. In year 3 his teacher used to write the date in his books for him so that he could have that little extra time writing his work. We have worked on his reading this year and he has gone up he started at 2c is now 3c. His writing he writes as he hears which you can understand what he is saying but doesn't look right. He goes into 'Nathan World' where he doesn't hear anything else and you really have to shout at him to bring him out of it. Dawn

Gwynne Just down the road from you. Heather will promise to go and have a look.

He defo sounds like ADD/ADHD/and or dyslexic to me. My son would write phonetically (though he rarely wrote at all). That is, pretty would be spelt p-r-t. You must ask the school for the Ed Psych to come in. Dont feel grateful, dont feel a pain. My son was put in a study booth at the back of the class facing a wall for one year (I didnt know about it til I went in unexpectantly one day). He was taken in straight away in the morning so he didnt get into fights or bullied, he was always left out in any games that required teams. At 9 he was threatening suicide. Dont hang about - the school will do their best to do as very little as possible, hoping that he is off their hands before he gets a statement. Dont be put off by them.

Dawn, You have mail. Gwynne

Does he have any problems re messing/wetting?

Dawn - mine is 14 and still has a problem with that. He ended up with quite a few diagnoses because he was always on the peripheral of each 'problem'

Heather We go through phases of him bed wetting. Things frighten him easily so have to be careful what he watches. Doctor Who was a nightmare so me and him used to go upstairs to do something else while that was on. We also have the fun of him not watching what he is doing while going to the loo so we end up with it all round the toilet