General Chat

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As some of you may know I've recently started a new job as a Trainee Recruitment Consultant, something I was selected to do despite my lack of experience. I've been struggling with a colleague (My Senior) who's been annoying, patronising and rude. He's been watching me make mistakes and then telling me afterwards not to do them (usually in front of our Boss) regularly, but today he has excelled himself. Having let me make a minor error, he then patted me on the head and said 'You need to start using your head'! Anyone who knows me knows I'm not stupid! I'm so angry/upset it's incredible! :0(

Hes obviously frightened for his job!! Becs Ignore it, do your job This Idiot is just that an idiot!! Rox x

Ooh Bec, how patronising! I'm surprised you didn't lam him one. I don't know what else to say, what an insufferable pig Vivienne

Becs Hugs xx Can't you have a quiet word with your boss or send him a letter explaining what is happening. Not very constructive is he ?

Chin up Bec! When you've sorted your self out, have a word with your senior. Ask him if there's a reason he's doing this........ie. does he not like you, is he trying to get in the bosses good books. Generally when bullies are questioned about their actions, they don't like it. The last thing a bully wants is somebody who is prepared to stand up to them.......makes their bullying pointless! Also you could point out that as he is your senior, perhaps he isn't training you corrrectly, hence the mistakes! Jeanette x

want me to send robbie round to sort him out Lisa xx

Truth is I'm not getting any REAL training, have been thrown in at the deep end and am doing a pretty good job in my opinion. I do think he feels threatened as he's been doing the job for over 20 years and I've suddenly come along with no experience. It's just so hard, I'm literally biting my tongue and making faces at him from behind my monitor! I have to go to an exhibition with him next week and the thought of being around him on our own makes me feel sick! AARRGGGHHHHHHH

Lisa - Send him 'round to sort ME out! xx

This sounds as though it is bordering on harrassment Bec!! Get a friend in the office (if you have one) to keep an eye on you too and witness the incidents... then you have bullets to fire!! Anne:)

Bec You should have said at least i know where mine is and not stuck up someones backside Julie

Bec, sorry to hear this man is still a pain, you have only been in the job for a couple of weeks and it dosn't matter what job you do even if you have done it before there are always new things to learn. This guy should surley be helping you and not trying to put you down all the time - can we make a vodoo doll of him and stick a few pins in it? Lou

There will be something in the post to you tomorrow, hope it will cheer you up Dee ;-))

Anne - I don't think he's being entirely malicious, I think it's part stupidity too! xx Julie - I'll remember that if he does it again.... that is if I don't punch him first! xx Lou - Vodoo doll sounds like a great plan! Don't think it'd survive long though! xx Dee - :0) xx

Bec, if you both have the same boss and you don't feel you are getting the training when you should be, then surely this is something your boss should be made aware of.

Becx, hunny He could be doing this for a number of reasons - with or without realising it - none of which are you're fault. If he's been doing the job for twenty years or so then he's of the old school - and I've come across plenty of these in journalism. Men who don't think women deserve a place in a working environment or are unable to operate on an equal footing because we're 'all emotional'. That would have been the type of atmosphere he started working in and it's pretty much ingrained and unbeatable until something happens where you can prove yourself to be just as good if not better than they are. Alternatively he maybe had someone else in mind for the job you got offered, perhaps a relative or family friend, and has had his nose put out of joint because his fantastic suggestion wasn't accepted. He can't take this resentment out on the boss so he'll inflict it on you. Or he has women issues full stop and doesn't know how to treat one (you won't find this bit out until you actually get to meet his wife and see what she's like - can be very telling). If you feel it may esculate make sure you're keeping details of dates and times of any incident and what happened/was said in case you need it. And consider - if he was really having such a stressful time having to pick up after your 'mistakes' then he wouldn't have time in his day to be the disgusting bully he is. If he's got time to pick fault then you're not creating enough work for him my dear!! ;o) Stay strong - and try and have a quiet word with the person that gave you the job - see if you can find out if he's generally like this with new people. Zoe xx

Andy - To be honest, I'm doing pretty damn well and don't need as much training was originally thought. xx Zoe - His social skills are appalling so I wouldn't be surprised if it's just his 'way'! SOOOOO annoying! xx

Bec, Just keep strong, give him enough rope to hang himself. Remember his boss will be taking note of what he is doing as well as taking notice of you. There will come a day when the boss will question this man's ability to train anyone. Just stay calm and do your best. Good Luck. June xx

Bec.............. 'someone needs to use their head' If he says that again you are to say as loud as you dare 'ARE YOU PROPOSITIONING ME!' When colleagues ask what he said then use your imagination! Julie xxx

Bec - how about having a private meeting with the Boss - and explain that this man is deliberately letting you make mistakes and then belittling you for them - instead of which he should be explaining to you the correct way to do things - or warning you about potential errors so you can look out for them ....................................... You need to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later. ((HUGS))) xxxx