General Chat

This post has been requested for review

No it hasn't. Just seeing how this would look.

Actual dodgy joke could be posted here


Andy

Right............. i'm going for it!!

There was an old man from Cosham
Who took out his false teeth to wash them
His wife said......

"Jack if you don't put them back I will tread on the bug*ers and squash them".

:-D :-D

There was a young man from Hyde
Who fell down a privy and died.
Then there was his brother, who fell down another;
Now they're interred side by side.

:-0 :-0 ;-) :-D :-D

There was an old man from Brazil,
Who swallowed a dynamite pill,
His heart retired, his bum backfired,
And his willy shot over the hill.....!!

:-D :-D :-D

PMSL :-D :-D :-D

There was an old man from Dundee
Who molested an ape in a tree
The result was most horrid.........

I can't post the rest, because it would get blasted out of here.

If you want to know, pm me :-D

It's from a book....... "Lecherous Limericks" by Isaac Azimov

There was a young lady from Australia
who went to a fancy dress dance as a dahlia
The heat of the ball
Caused the petals to fall
And the dance, as a dance, was a failure

or

There was a young lady from Australia
Who painted her a*rse as a dahlia
The petals were fine, likewise the line
But the aroma, alas, was a failure

I remember posting a limerick not so long ago, It was actually about limericks and did not contain any rude words, jus a bit of innuendo. It got RR'd :-|

There once was a man from Degrass
Who had ba*ls that were made out of brass
When he rubbed them together
He played "stormy weather" and lightning shot-out of his h'arse

:-D :-D :-D :-D

A maiden at college named Breeze
Weighed down by B.A.'s and Litt. D.'s
Collapsed from the strain.
Alas, it was plain
She was killing herself by degrees

There was a young lady from Louth
Who returned from a trip to the South
Her father said, "Nelly
There's more in your belly,
Then ever went in through your mouth"

The Limerick is an art-form, complex,
it's contents run chiefly to sex.
They're famous for virgins
and masculine urgin's
and vulgar, erotic effects

B

Enough already. How's your placename pronunciation?

A young Irish servant in Drogheda
had a mistress who often annogheda,
whereapon she would swear
in a language so rare
that thereafter nobody emplogheda.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

pronounced 'droyda'

ROFLMAO :-D :-D :-D at them all - alas for some reason I don't think the idividual with the trigger happy finger will appreciate them.

A painter who came from Great Britain
hailed a lady who sat with her knitain.
He remarked, with a sigh,
"That park bench, well ,I
just painted it, right where you're sitain."

There was a young lady named Hall
who went to a Birth-control Ball.
She was loaded with pessaries
and other accessories
but no-one approached her at all.

Pronunciation again!

A young English woman named St. John
met a red-skinned Ameriacan In. John,
who made her his bride
and gave her, beside,
a dress with a gaudy bead Fr. John.

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St. John supposedly pronounced 'Sinjin'

A boy at Saute Ste. Marie
said, 'Spelling is all Greek to me,
till they learne to spell "Soo"
without any "u"
or an "a" or an "l" or a "t"!'

Oooh, Bernie, that was the limerick that I posted that got RR'd :-0 :-D

On A Maiden a man once begat
Bouncing triplets named Nat, Tat and Pat:
'Twas fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding:
She hadn't a spare t*t for Tat

Well, I didn't expect this to turn into a thread for Limericks... but thanks to everyone who has posted and given me a good laugh :-)

And nothing got RRed (yet) :-D

Andy