General Chat

My wife is currently looking after my daughter's house and pets while she (my daughter) is on holiday in NZ.

The following is a précis of several phone calls between OH and myself today.

Me (phoning her) I'm hungry what can I have?"

Her: "Anything"

Me: "that's bl**dy helpful!"

Her: "Well open a can of beans"

Me: "Where are they?"

Her: "In the &*%^#@* Pantry"

Me: "OK no need to be so abusive"

Hung up.

Five minutes later, I phoned her

Me: "Where's the tin opener?"

Her: "Look closely at the lid, and you'll see a little ring opener on the top, just like on your beer cans!"

Me: "OK"

Hung up.

Five minutes later, I phoned her

Me: "How do I heat them?"

Her, seeming a little stressed "Either in the microwave, or on the stove!"

Me: "You know that I can't use the microwave, and the last time I heated something on the stove, I burnt it!"

Her: "That's it! Sort it out yourself!"

Phone slammed down :-|

When I eventually found out where she had hidden the spoons, I ate the beans, cold, directly from the tin.

Honestly, women just don't know anything about looking after their men.

And I gave HER a lesson in how to cut down on the washing up!!

:-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Hello, Sylvia, how are you?

Sounds like your OH's time away is having a positive effect on you :-D :-D :-D

I am glad you didn't try to heat the tin of beans in the microwave, Alan. That would not have done the microwave any good at all. :-0

Hi, K,

Yes we both enjoy our days apart so that we can come back with fresh weapons to use in our hostility :-D :-D :-D

Hi Huia,

Same effect if I'd just put them in a pan to heat...with no water in the pan, and the tin unopened :-0

I went food shopping yesterday with my OH - which is very unusual - and I now realise why that is a good thing :-D He takes over, seems to think I only go out once in a blue moon and we are stocked up for a siege!!!

Kay

Good on him! :-D :-D

We men must stick together :-)

When I go shopping I buy what we need.

When OH goes shopping she buys what she likes :-|

you're living on home-made bread & cold baked beans?

:-D

Oooooh, Mrs Allan is going to be welcomed home with a brass band!

hahaha ~ I go shopping I buy what's on the list (enough for a week), HE goes shopping and the trolley is FULL! I'm sure the supermarket staff think we have a house full of kids.... so many sweeties.

:-D

Hi Allan

I'm very well, thank you!


and I trust you are enjoying your few days of freedom :-D

Scozz, it's a good job I can cook (a one pot wonder), but my bread seems to be OK.

The only brass band my OH has is the one I gave her on our wedding day.....I pawned the other one :-D

Sylvia, ask me in 28 days time :-0

Man & Wife Shopping Joke:-

A husband and wife are shopping together in Tesco, and the husband puts a crate of Stella in the trolley.

The wife says" what are you doing?"

The husband says "its £10 for 24 cans, on special offer"

The wife says "well put it back, we cant afford it"

A few aisles later, the wife puts some £20 face cream in the trolley, to which the husband asks her "and what do you think you're doing?"

The wife says "its my face cream, it makes me look beautiful"

The husband replies "so does 24 cans of stella at half the price ;-)

:-D :-D :-D OFITG

My OH has never quite got the hang of what constitutes a bargain.

We were on a Channel Islands catamaran when an announcement came over the tannoy about crates of Stella. He doesn't drink lager and I rarely drink it because it gives me indigestion so he bought two crates.

After a few years of them standing on the kitchen floor with a couple gone,I threw them away. What a waste!

:-D :-D :-D Sharron

Funny Allan and typical of my hubby who never knows where anything is kept although we have lived in this bungalow for almost 40 years.

It's a good job I am a patient person and can count to ten (plenty practice!) ha ha.

Allan .you seem to have everything under control .well at least the mans way ;-) :-S Barbra .PS i could always nip to yours & make a Lancashire hot pot :-)

Barbra, with the weather we are having at the moment a nice Lancashire hot pot would go down a treat :-D

Its amazing how silly and uninteligent us men can be, :-Dnot knowing how to cook, use the dishwasher,washing machine,vacume cleaner etc,and as to Ironing well its a complete mystery,never know where things are kept,i/e cutlery,plates and other things :-D or are we Far to clever for the females to realise :-D we decided we don,t want to know, as they are far to good doing all these things for us. while we feign ignorance of these highly technical things :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D ;-)