General Chat

maybe we could start a thread for all those fathers that are not allowed contact with their children - I'm sure many would agree particularly with Fathers' Day on the horizon

nice thought Errol!!!

I guess it is quite sad that nobody seems to think that fathers should be thought of

Errol hello ...my Dad can´t contact me but that´´s because he´s dead, but I do agree with what you have said.

my thinking behind it was that there may be children out there that look at this site in years to come and realise that their father really did care

I think it is very sad that good dads are sometimes denied contact, any contact at all, purely out of spite, and very sad for the youngsters who are hurt by that.

Yes Rose, I suppose it is part of the game playing but children should not suffer - the parents are supposed to be grown ups for heavens sake. I think it stinks when a father is denied contact

when the children are older
maybe its their choice nothing worse than a child feeling let down
its a hurt thast never goes away ever

Nice thought, but this thread would have to be brought back & added to each year, or it would just be forgotten alongside all the dead threads.

Its also a bit of a long shot for a child of an "Absent" father to stumble across such a message on a general chat board,

I would suggest to all such dads, who have no contact to write letters etc & instruct a solicitor to hand these to the child at 18. That way not only will this possibly initiate contact if the child wishes but will show the child they are loved. :-)

children should not be used as weapons

It is very sad indeed.

Sometimes......the parents forget that are supposed to love their children more than hate each other!! :-(

better to have one good parent than two at war :-D :-D

somtimes children arent used as weapons they just make there own minds up

Yes very much so and Mildred I agree mostly but disagree with the term absent - I think it is sometimes used in quite a derogatory way - a great example being Cameron not so many months ago(!) - however I think there are many fathers who are deemed "absent" but only because they arte denied access. The point of the thread was to remember such individuals, fathers, doting dads, who would dearly love to see their children.
But anyway, Mildred, well said

I would ask why someone is not allowed to see their children .. i couldnt imagine my kids not seeing their dad .. there would have to be a good reason for it .. But i would leave the decision to them it would be their choice
:o)

yes Lairy I agree with what you are saying but very often one parent or the other denies access to the former partner even when they are an actual blood parent - often it is done out of spite

maybe the fathers or mothers should think how their actions
effect their kids before they do things
nothing worse than a parent causing embarrassment or shame to a child

I think it is terrible when it is done out of spite, to poison a child's mind against the absent parent (Father or Mother and I have a female friend to whom it happened some years ago) is very wrong.

I think it is so often the case that infidelity has come into the equation, and then it may be very difficult to see the man as still a good father when he has not been a 'good husband' ( works the other way too of course!).

And again when the parent with care has rebuilt a life, there may be a new partner who to all intents and purposes takes on the role, especially if the child is young it may be that it seems the least disruptive option...not saying that is right, but the parent with care might take that course for all good reasons.

Joy and Ann I agree wholeheartedly. Sadly sometimes the partner that perceives they have been wronged goes on to say awful things which will then affect that child for many years. Sometimes it is spite and sometimes it is pure stupidity I guess.
However, the point of this thread was not to discuss the rights or wrongs but to say hello to the fathers that are often forgotten when it comes to Fathers' Day and to acknowledge that just maybe they are hurting a little.