General Chat

what the hell happend? thoughts please.x :-(

I can't imagine why, my thoughts are with his family and friends
:-( :-( :-(

his poor wife found him hanged,what a tragic end to a happy family life.im just very aware that all the papers are very silent,why would someone who seems so happy in his working and family life do such a tragic act,and no one seems to have any thoughts as to why?x

I don't follow sport but I did see this, how very sad for his family.

My thoughts? A scandal is about to be unearthed and the reason the press has gone silent is that nothing is proven so far so they have been silenced.

His poor wife and children about to go through the mire because, possibly, he didn't feel able to.

I was discussing this sort of thing with a friend recently, we have a couple of friends with family members who committed suicide. We just couldn't get passed the "How selfish...." bit. I don't have experience of this but, for example, I have a friend whose mother chose to shoot herself 2 weeks before her daughter's wedding, my friend has spent 30 years wondering why her mother did this to her.... It has shaped her life.

I am happy to be corrected and I would just point out that I do have experience of close family depression....but why would you choose yourself over your daughter's happiest day?I just don't get that, please help me out. Don't mean to offend but I do look for enlightenment.

helen you are allowed to have your own opinion,ive also had experience of suicide,my friends 18yr old son hung himself several yrs ago because he had split from his girlfriend,yes of course this is a selfish act to us adults,but to a teenager its really a cry for help,or if they ment to do it,then it takes a lot of guts,you must really be in a terrible bad place to have the guts to do that,his mother at the age of 35 had her life cut short,she was never the person she once was,and she has allways blamed herself,but of course it was not her fault,but for the rest of her life she will blame herself,so yes her son wasselfish for not thinking about the grief he would cause,but at that time it was what he needed to do, :-(

I can only imagine when someone takes their own life they are feeling so desperate that nothing or no one else has any meaning for them. I would not call these people selfish even though they can subsequently make the lives of others very difficult. You could say we should all be more aware but people who are contemplating suicide do not always show signs of being depressed.

Vera

I don't want to speculate on something I have no knowledge of. However, it is such a tragedy, my thoughts are with family and friends.

The papers are very quiet l must admit, but l think they have been asked to leave Gary's family to greave, maybe for once they have done as asked.
What with all the phone hacking inquiries going on and will be going on for some time, maybe they don't dare do otherwise....maybe!!!

Maybe to us as outsiders it would seem that there is more for his family to endure, that he could'nt cope with!!
Depression is a very deep illness for some people to have (does that make sense?), others its not as bad and medication helps, others it can make you do things you never thought possible to even think of!!

We will have to wait for the inquiry in a years time when all the evidence/fact are put together.

RIP Garry


jude

Such a sad waste of life and his wife and family must be in bits. It must be horrible to be so deep in that very dark place this is the only way out..

My heart goes out to anyone that suffers that god awful illness depression.

Helen - do not make judgements on people who commit suicide please - you have no idea what you are talking about - they are not selfish - they are tormented and I speak as someone who attempted suicide in 1996.

I then discovered I suffer from clinical depression and I would imagine it is 99% sure that Gary Speed did too! somone suffering from CD will always keep a happy face and a pleasant demeanour - life and soul of the party me - but underneath there is turmoil, usually a problem blown right out of proportion. They can see no way out and the only solution is to opt out completely.

At the time I was actually working in a psychiatric hspital with a highly qualified psychiatric sernior nurse as my immediate boss - he had no idea what I was going though

Until there is a better understanding of mental illness people will continue to make rash statements such as yours

with medication which I will have to take for the rest of my life - my GP says that's no problem - I am one very happy bunny indeed and I even weathered the death of my lovely husand with no mishaps

I don't wish to upset anyone here - just try to educate people and I can understand why people jump to the "selfish" attitude

another point to highlight the problem with people not understanding mental illness - if you were in a conversation with someone and they said they had say broken a leg, found a tumour or had to go for dialysis everyone would be instantly sympathetic - however, if someone volunteered the fact that they had attempted suicide the reaction would be totally different - usually a conversation stopper because no one would know what to say next

the brain is just another part of the body - albeit a very complex part - so why is it that people don't accept a malfunction of the brain in the same way as a malfunction of other body parts?

We are all 'selfish' beings, to some degree or another. We enter the world alone, and exit it alone, if someone chooses to do this by suicide, that is their decision, whether through desperation, illness, grief or anything else. My grandfather committed suicide (I never knew him) and this must have had a terrible effect on the family, but I think my parents, from what little they said about it, understood his reasons.

I agree with a lot of what Ann says re mental illness.

Agree totally with Ann.

l agree totally with Ann.

My grandfather committed suicide aged 52yrs, he suffered with depression and possibly bipola. We think his death had something to do with his art work and how he was never confident or aware about his amazing talents, simular to me in that l have no confidence, but l am also lazy! l suffer with depression, my 3 sisters also and my son. You need to have suffered depression to understand.

l have had 2 break downs and am on tablets for the rest of my life. l'm not nor never have felt suicidal, but when bad wondered why l was here!!

jude x

PS..edited

statistics say that one in four of us will suffer some form of mental illness in our lives - that's a very large proportion

As a retired psychiatric nurse have seen the torment that people
suffer when unable to cope. I worked in the community for years
and only one of my patients committed suicide, didn't see it coming
nor did anyone else.
I agree with Ann, sympathy with an ailment you can see, very little
compassion for anyone with a mental health problem. It's the pull
yourself together attitude that annoys me, if it were that easy.

Emma x

In the health service itself - the mental health is always bottom of the heap on receiving money etc.

how true Chris - always been a bugbear of mine

I worked at our local psychiatric hospital for nigh on thirty years - we had an excellent accountant and were in a very healthy financial position

We then went trust with the University Hospital of Wales - a general hospital - they were deep in financial troiuble - they took all our money off us and now the whiole trust is deep in debt - apparently you can't order as much as paper clip these days without a hoo ha - staff are stretched to the limit - when a domestic leaves they are not replaced

Ann I was well versed in this as closest and oldest friend was a mental health social worker - she also worked in a hospital in Cardiff in mid eighties.

I always feel that when our time has come to leave this earthly coil it will happen no matter what our logic tries to make of it.-jl