General Chat

Lost my Mum in March, I feel so lost I know she is in a better place because she was suffering so much but I miss her so much.

So sad for you Linda in losing your precious Mum. It is very natural that you would be longing for her, I recognise that feeling from my own past bereavements. It is very early days, and you will experience these intense feelings for a while, but in time it does get better and you will be able to be happy for the good times that you have shared. Post here so that others might give you a big hug, you don't need to be alone.

Hello Linda,

I lost my Mum in March 7 years ago.

I miss her as much today as I did then. I was inconsolable. I cried rivers of tears.

And yes, she too was in terrible pain, and it was a blessed relief.

You will never get over the loss of your dear Mum, but you will gradually accept it.

You will go through the stages of anger, acceptance, anger again, feeling that no one else feels the same as you. But, you will accept that if your Mum was in pain, she is in a better place.

You will gradually start to think of all the good things you did together, the laughs you had together. Her funny little ways.

Have a photo of her in a prominent place,and talk to it every day.

it will get better, but it will take time.

Take care
Maddie
x

Thank you so much for your kind words.

Linda,
I'm sorry for your loss.
It is hard when you lose someone so special to you and the months since March are no time at all for you to accept that she is no longer here and yet at the same time it will feel that it is so long that you have not seen her.
Time does heal and lovely memories help to keep them close. Is there a sibling to share your loss, - someone who will understand so well?

When my Mum died, we realised that she was the focal point for our family and where we would all meet up, so now we make a point of meeting as an extended family at least once in the year, to get together, catch up on news and just celebrate our family links.

Gwyn

Thank you Gwyn, yes I do have siblings but we live so far apart. I am in constant contact with them. My Mum was the focal point of our family we lost are Dad when I was only fifteen so she was so much more than a Mum. I am one of eight children and My Mum gave up so much to bring us up and went without a lot of things to make sure we were okay. I look and speak to her photo everyday and remember all the things we all did together. Thank you for your kind words. Linda.

Thank you Motown and Lavender. x

Hi Linda.
I'm sorry you are finding it difficult after losing your Mum.It is still very early days ,but is natural you feel like this.I think the first 12 months will be the hardest.I lost my Mum 6 years ago,and for that first year with all the 'special' dates was very hard.As the years have passed it has got easier,and not as tearful.Just happy memories,and a good few laughs at times of remembering funny times.I find it good to talk to my sister on the phone about Mum.I have a good old natter and talk about the good times and the weird times when she had Dementia.We could write a book lol
You will be fine Linda,you are still going through the grieving time now.
Jane xx

Linda, in my case it was my dad as my mother left me when I was only 9. My father died 20 yrs ago and I still miss him. I still have his flat that I kept empty for 10 yrs. used to go and just sit there. My son moved in and has just left, I had a buyer but I backed out last minute cannot bare to break the link. But it will get better for you, time is a great healer.

Carol :-)

Hello Linda......

l lost my mum in 1981, oh my word thats such a long time ago and l miss her like mad. The first 2 - 3yrs were the worst. l could actually get emotional now, but its different, we grow to accept l think. With you it is still so new, it does get easier, you never forget, but you learn how to deal with it.

Take care
Do you have family at home to occupy you??

jude xx

jude, Carol & Jane, thank you for kind words & support. It does mean a lot. Thank you again. Linda. x

Hi Linda

I lost my mum 3yrs ago last month, I still miss her so much. More so as i have just become a nan again to twin girls. My mum would have loved to have hold them.

I know she is looking down on them.

As will your mum with you.

You will have hard times to come but as Jude said you grow to accept it.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))for you.

Hazelx

Linda what I am trying to say is I still miss my dad the pain was unbearable, but now I think of him with great affection and it does not hurt.

You will survive it is human nature.

Carol <3

As others have said Linda, you probably never get over losing your Mum, but you do come to accept that she is no longer here. My Mum died in 1994 but I still think 'I must tell Mum that' when something happens. Not all the time but sometimes.

It helped a bit writing my life story as I was writing about Mum too and that sort of brought her close and reminded me of little things.

Do come on here and talk about her if it helps. I expect the next few months will be hard as you will be facing another 'first' without her, Christmas will be hard for you.

(((((hugs))))) for you :-)

I have pm'ed you Linda

A very big thank you to each and everyone of you, I cant put into words how you have helped me this evening. Again thank you. Linda. XXXXXX

Oh Ann, the times I have said to my husband must ask dad he will know. But isn't that nice that they are so remembered. I hope my children will still be thinking of me 20 yrs later lol.

Carol

Thank you everyone, I will include you and your loved ones past & present in my prayers tonight. Linda. x

Linda, I do feel for you.like others have said it is still so raw for you.I am the same as Carol, I am always saying oh wait until I tell mum that, she will laugh. It will be 5 years on the 28th of this month since we lost mum and I am quite far away from all my family but as time goes by I think more of my mum laughing at things as she always did. You will soon start thinking of your mum and the happy times you all had together. take care.
Love Sylvia xx

If you have a faith and a belief in an afterlife you might find it helpful to take time out for yourself, to look around and see how beautiful creation is, how miraculous nature is. It might be comforting to know that your Mum is not far away, that she is still sharing in your life, watching over you, knowing your love for her. She will be willing you on, wanting to hold your hand as you move forward through your life, for if creation is so uncomprehendable, there is also so much that we don't understand, but it doesn't mean that it isn't so. Cry lots and she will be with you, and you will be comforted by her presence. Thinking of you.