General Chat

Nudging for someone to see this .

Pat, how wonderful that you have had a reply after so long... see, patience is rewarded!!

Love

Daff xxxx

I posted a message on one site re surname forum on the 17th July 2004 and on the 16th May 2010 I received a reply.

Who knows what this person has been going through in her private life and genealogy could be the last thing on her mind. I am grateful that she eventually replied.

Should say I have now replied to her message hope it's not another 6 years before she gets back but if it is so be it.

Lots of reasons for not replying as already stated on here. Ill health, bereavement, holidays, computer breaking down and no money to fix or replace.

Nudge, as I notice another thread on this subject!!

Love

Daff xxx

So it might be, Sue, but it was in response to 3 threads in as many days on this board, so here is where I put it... I did wonder about putting something similar up on Tips... but as I rarely go in there these days, it seemed a bit presumptuous... also *huge grin* I did wonder if I might be advised that I shouldn't duplicate a thread, wmsl...... I could put it on all three, I suppose..... hung for a sheep etc etc ;¬))

I was fed up with feeling guilty for not responding when I was so poorly.... silly I know, but there you are!!

Janey, behave, you a goat? Never!! lolol... and yes I agree with you totally.... but I was poorly, which was why I didn't reply.... so that is what lights my blue touch paper!

I have just found out that hubby opened an account years ago... with a very very old e-mail address..... so he has not answered one single request.

But he has all those painful, common Welsh names.... and I know more than he does, now, lol..... and if I did a search on his name, I'd be there a 12 month going through them all.... dead common, he is! ;¬))

Love

Daff xxxx

Daff knows how I feel about those threads -- she PMed me the last time I decided to be the goat and say what I thought. ;)

I do think though that the vast overwhelming majority of people who don't reply to PMs aren't sick or dead. They just wandered in here one day years ago, put up a tree, wandered off --- and changed their email address a little later --- and never expected to get messages, and don't get them now because they don't come looking for them and don't get email notification. This is just One Of Those Things. And people not getting replies should remember to check in Sent Messages to see whether their PM has been read.

But hey, Daff, c'mon now -- I'm entitled to bleat about the one I PMed about a relatively close shared rellie ... and puppydog-like, opened my tree to (that was a while ago) ... and never heard from ... until a year later when an idle tree search showed that he had me and my mother and grandmother in his tree!! He did manage to answer the next PM from me, telling him to take us out of his tree.

So I think a small percentage of people are sick, a small percentage of people are without minimal manners, and most are just off on a frolic of their own with no malice aforethought.

And I promise not to start any threads about that middle group. ;)

This thread should be on chat and tips boards....

Nudged up for Juanita on chat.

Love

Daff xxx

Aw Stella, that is lovely, too......

Love

Daff xxxx

it doesn't make me sad Daff.. i smile to myself in remembrance of them when i look at their trees..happy memories

xx

Aw Carol, that is lovely!

Countrymouse, and Stella, my cousin had a few accounts, lol... she would open one, then forget how to get into it we think, and so open another. But she was a young mum, fighting a battle with breast cancer, and the last account she opened, in the last couple of months of her life, was deleted after a couple of years, when I mentioned it to my uncle. But no-one knew about the others until a couple of months ago. My uncle can't bear to have them deleted. I understand his reasons, too, it feels like a link to her. It is so sad to see their tree still there, Stella.

Oh dear, IGP! I am so dreadfully nosey that I shall go and have a look in a moment, lol! Now take a deep breath!

Love

Daff xxxx

Well that is an interesting point Stella. I suppose someone has to know it is there and delete it though. We could all be leaving our trees behind!
It amazes me when people come on here and complain about the members or the site. I have had brilliant contacts as well as some 'no replies', but as has been said there are reasons for that.
I hope everyone who has problems preventing them being here is overcoming them and feeling better though.

Please could i just add that i still have access to two trees belong to two dear friends i made on here and both are now deceased, one of them for at least 2 years.

If i have access to 2, then how many other people have passed away and their trees remain??

xxx

n re "Common courtesy seems a rarity!" thread on Tips board

I have just checked my sent box and have 42 unopened messages concerning possible connections going back to last September. I gave up checking at that point.

I might send a polite follow up to some that I am particularly interested in hearing from but other than that I take it that they have other more important things to get on with.

I had one reply just before Christmas to say that his mum wouldn't be getting back to me as she had died the day before.

At which point.....

I agree to an extent, Piglets Pal... but it is not always the case.... however, it actually doesn't matter if it is a Newbie, or an Oldbie... the same principles should apply... they are not children, they are adults, and I was a Newbie a couple of years ago... so why is it that I didn't expect an immediate response?

No, it is the culture of instant gratification... maybe as a result of the internet and google... but I was used to having to search for info, to having to trawl through records and suchlike....... to have a site like this where people would answer reasonably quickly was such a thrill... and only a couple of years ago... now people seem to have this belief that their every request demands an instant response, and life just isn't like that.... people are not machines, they are not google or whatever.... and an adult Newbie is no different from an adult Oldbie... and some Oldbies have manners that leave a lot to be desired, too.

It is about manners, and patience, tolerence and understanding.

My tolerence is wearing thin with those people who show none of the above for others.... it is all about My request is ignored, I am a member so I deserve, Others should be responding to my demands.... etc etc ad nauseum.

This is one thread.... just one thread.... in response to the two or three EVERY week that we seem to be getting.... and not all membership numbers of complainers are new... some are much older than mine!

Hello again Janet.... it must have been either before my time, or when I was passing through my health blip...... so hello again!

Mmmm.... Red, you definitely need a holiday... but don't book a flight, lolol!!

Cynthia, that is brilliant... it is well worth it.... most Newbies would really appreciate your pm, I am sure.... even if they don't respond, but to get a positive response is lovely.

Mummo xxxxx

Sue in Leeds, thank you.... I know... my aunt did all the early trawling as I lived overseas...... she died before the internet took hold, but I do have some of her info... one branch was incorrect though... but she would hav needed to cross reference that in a dozen different places... the internet has made it so much easier!!

Thank you, Helen.... and yes, I am doing really well, feeling really good most of the time. It is patience and respect for others which seems to be missing..... and this insistance on instant gratification... I want, I get right NOW.

I get so hissy over that... lol

Love

Daff xxx

Sue, I still trail around local record offices.... :)

That reminds me, I need to book a holiday ;)

Hi Daff,
I've been here before but a while ago. just not posted for ages. I occassionally pop on here just to take a peek. I'm familiar with some members.

Janet xxxx

opps another nudge, x

This morning I had a very nice response from someone to whom I sent a message yesterday. He hadn't realised that he would receive a response so quickly and was going to check back in a few months bless him.

Cx.