General Chat

Covlass

That is lovley and it does describe me people say I m so laid back I would fall over.

Lynne

Glad you liked it Lynne xx
As I said it was given to me when my daughter was born I was at the stage of asking "why?" I had done every thing I should have, nearly 13 years later and I still read it every now and then.

Ladies, you make me feel so humble. I have always thanked my lucky stars that my 2 children had no problems. Now I have a husband with alzheimers and I keep wondering 'why? what have I done to deserve this?' He is like a child at times. Every time we are shopping he wants a Mars bar or some such, or perhaps an icecream. When I am cooking he wants to help. I try to find some simple job for him to do - cutting up the carrots or stirring the cake. I usually have to finish the job myself. It would be so much easier to do it all myself, but he is so eager to 'help' me. At least I have the 'consolation' that this will not be a lifetime job for me. He is gradually deteriorating. It has been quite noticeable this year. I have to check out his clothes before we go out to make sure he is not wearing his tatty old work clothes or odd socks or shoes. I am learning to have more patience but it isnt easy.

Best wishes to you all.

Huia.

S is now 44, the same age as his mother was when he was born.
He is Downs with a mental age of around 4.
He cannot read, write or hold an intelligent conversation but can wash and dress himself and do simple tasks such as setting out cutlery for his mother and himself and carry out the dirty dishes.

Life expectancy for Downs used to be quite low, but the record is now 74.
It's not the sort of responsibility you can just pass on to your children.
That means we could looking after him until I am 94.

covlass that is beautiful, thank you.
Mary

Brian, you do have a big problem, although there has probably been plenty of laughter along the way, I hope.
I have a relative whose youngest son suffered brain damage from some innoculation. She and her husband found a good home for him, where he was happy, up in Scotland (they came from the London area) and they now live in Scotland themselves so they can visit him. They are both in their 80s so knew they couldnt care for him forever. I gather he is physically healthy so could last well after they die.

Huia.

I have so much admiration for you all and covlass, that was lovely.

Ann
Glos

I am fine thank you Claire I was on a bit of a downer that night it doesnt happen that often but the few on chat upset me that night but I will never post on there I will stick to general topics board.

Lynne x

Lynne, I dont know what was said on Chat, I rarely go there, usually just stick with My Threads and only occasionally look at others. The people who upset you have obviously never had to walk in your shoes - as yet. As I said, my children didnt have any problems, but now my husband has alzheimers I am learning what it is like to be a carer. It certainly has lots of downs but occasional ups. Have a look at the Carers thread, you can always 'let it all out' on there. I have found it great to tell other people of my problems and to read of theirs and find I am not the only one in the world with these problems. I will probably continue to pop in here now I have started.

Best of luck to you.

Huia.

Hi
Just thought I would pop i and see how everyone is today may be it would be nice to keep this thread going for a while, a place to pop in when having an off day, knowing that we al undestand.

Love to you all
Sharon x

Afternoon all hope you are all well, thank you for all putting your posts on here and Sharon yes I think its a good idea to keep it going.

I love Wednesdays as he goes out with his carer straight from day centre and comes home at 7pm no demanding until then but it could be a good evening it depends what sort of mood he will be in.

Lynne x

Hello Lynne,
I have just started a new job looking after a little boy with special needs over lunch time at the primary where my grandchildren go.
He is a lovely boy but he has to wear leg braces to enable him to walk and he has trouble communicating
I am only into my second week but I know how determined and difficult he can be and how drained I feel when he is like that, and that is only after an hour, so I really admire anyone that does it full time.
I find it best to go in knowing exactly what we are going to do, so I have made a pairs game which we played the other day and today it was noughts and crosses, I spend ages thinking up what we can do and then have to make it,. but I do enjoy seeing him all excited when he beats me.

Hope you are having a good day.

We love Tenby and have camped there, last time when we had all that rain summber before last, Tents and Rain Ugh

Pat

Hope you do not mind me telling you my story

Hi Pat

I hope you enjoy your new job it can be very rewarding.

A game my son liked when he was small and he still does is connect 4 it is also good for their hand and eye co-ordination.

I m glad you enjoyed Tenby the sun is shinning here at the moment.

Lynne x

Hi,

"Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley.

This is a poem that was written for parents of Autistic children but I think that it is suitable for others that have special needs.
Sue

Hello again Lynne,
Yes I am enjoying spening time with Nick, today I took a pad and pen in and we played Noughts and Crosses, he enjoyed it so I said I would make a Noughts and crosses game to take in tomorrow, a square of card and some flourescent squares of paper with O and X then laminated and away we go.
Last friday I was asked if I would go to the zoo with them so over the weekend I made a pairs game with pictures of matching animals from clipart which I again laminated so they will last, I took it in on monday and it was a great success with lots of the other kids in the playgroud wanting to play, which is again great for Nick, and on Tuesday we went to the zoo and I was exhausted when we got back, I never realised that rounding up and counting children could be so hard.
I think I get more out of our time together than Nick does.
Pat.

If you can think of anymore games / things that you think he might like I would be grateful
Forgot to say he liked the pairs game so much he took it home, I will have to make a new one. lol

Hi Lynne
we have a special needs step grandson.He is the son of my daughters OH by a previous relationship. They only married 5 years ago and the lad used to stay with dad every weekend unless the mum was having a paddy with dad and used the lad as a weapon. She was under the social services anyway as they weren't happy with how she was with the boy. To cut a long story short Daughter & SIL went to court and got residency and he has been with them now for nearly five years. He has recently finally been diagnosed with a faulty gene (cant remember which one) but it has caused global learning delay He has autistic tendencies like needs structure,doesnt like people to turn up unless he knows they are coming.hates loud noises ,lines his toys up in a row etc.He has limited speech, still poos himself so has to wear nappy pants etc, goes to a special needs school where must say there are kiddies with more special needs than him .He can be a handful especially after spending Sat/Sun with his mum who lets him do what ever likes and gives in to his tantrums, BUT he can be a really loving lad who likes cuddles and absolutely adores my daughters latest grandaughter who is now 9 months old ,He is so gentle with her and gets all concerned if she gets a bit cross,

Lad is now 9 and has just started to get more speech and putting small sentences together, he is a stocky boy but his mum has been seen pushing him around in a push chair!! she seems to want to keep him as a baby which was one of the social services concerns for his overall development. Daughter & SIL say they want him to reach his full potential whatever that is & hopefully to be able to take care of himself & not to be taken advantage of when they are no longer around .
Our daughter is fifty and a grandmother 4 times over & went through chemo four years ago for six months for Hodgkin's ,plus she works full time so I think she is a heroine for taking on the care of lad
Shirley

Claire, you are so right about things being worse when you are tired.

Shirley, your daughter is a real heroine, deserves a gold medal. Best wishes to her.

Huia.

Thank you Huia we think she is one special girl!! especially as the mum wont let go and has changed solicitors several times and told lies every time to harass them , She HATES my daughter with a vengeance cos she married her hubby even though daughter wasnt on the scene when they broke up.
Our daughter is a worrier anyway and the stress that the mum causes through solicitors who believe very word she tells them, isnt good for our daughter ,
When the mum cant get what she wants she changes solicters and spins her poor me tales,
Daughter has now been diagnosed with Acne Rosacea on her nose and was told its stress related,
Sometimes you unkindly think that the person causing all the stress could just get their comeuppance!!

Claire thats a lovley poem.

I ve been to Holland but now I m trying to get over the Swiss Alps to get to Italy but I know that they are to tall and big for me I will never kiss the ground of Italy.

Shirley your stepgrandson sounds just like my son at that age I never wrapped him up in cotton wool its a cruel world out there. I to add acne rosacea in my early forties but with treatment it cleared but not overnight it took a while, I had it all over my cheeks. I m fifty now and my skin is all clear of it.

I hope everyone has a good day and look forward to reading more posts.

Lynne x

We had a very peacefull night last night which I am so greatfull for and am now feeling refreshed this morning : ) Mind you I think it because the 'birthday bunny is comming tonight' !!! My DD will be a teenager tommorow

Lynn I hope you had a good evening

Pat Iam sure you will get so much out of your new job

Shirly you daughter is a special lady

Claire Thankyou for sharing that poem

Love to you all xx