General Chat

I've just been reading an article about a woman who was in an apparently successful open marriage. Does anyone know of any that have worked?

What's an open marriage????

Come to that, what's a closed marriage???

I know mine wouldnt if i had one. Not into all of that. Are they really happy? To me its like being unfaithful except you tell OH. Just my opinion. I dont know anyone thats been in that situation.

Lindy, it's where a couple agree that they can have extra marital sex.

I don't think I could be in one either, Alko but it does seem to work for some. I suppose there can be good reasons why they happen too.

Probably Uggers. Each to their own I expect.

Lol David... you said *was*.... so it was only successful for a while,, it would seem.

I feel that this might work better for one partner than the other... and only until needs and dynamics in the relationship alter even slightly.

I have known two couples who had *open* marriages, and the passive partners in each case found new, exclusive, love elsewhere, lol...

From what I have observed, if there is an *open marriage* that is successful, it is because one plays away while the other doesn't and turns a blind eye!!

Just an observation though... no real facts etc to back that up.

Love

Daff xxx

Daff, the couple are both dead, hence the 'was' :) They both claimed to be very satisfied with the relationship.

I imagine it must take a very strong relationship in a spiritual sense for it to be successful.

Well im not having one!
pmsl

Pat

pmsl Pat - very pleased to hear it;))) Which reminds me....

Why ever be married in the first place,?


I supose there are couples where they have flings and its known about but not talked of,?

Wouldnt work for me,,I'd be scared of getting something hard to get rid of,,,,,,,,,,,!!

Oops!
This next comment is a bit fuddled, based on asolutely nothing but obscure bits of memory and of long yellowed magazine articles etc!! And if I'm way off course, it's your fault cos it was your mention of *free spirit* that triggered the memory, ;¬))

There is a *class* (I know that is the wrong word, but can't think of another) of person where this sort of *open* relationship seems to flourish... it appears to me to be when very strong minded, artistic or very academic meets someone who is equally strong.... and instead of clashing as you might expect, they have total respect and faith in each other's love and judgements.

But in my heart, I feel that these are more a meeting of the mind and soul, rather than the body. Almost like they are the closest of friends, or beloved siblings, than lovers!!

I know that is somewhat garbled... and may come over all unnecessary, lol I will apologise if I have offended... it is an opinion only loosely made, soo I am interested in others' opinions too.

Oh... I'd be soooooo jealous I'd do something really really spiteful, lol!!

Love

Daff xxx

All I can say it has always been bad enough coping with one!

Kay, I suppose the alternative argument is why not be married? If it works for a couple and everything is honest and no-one is hurt I sort of think good luck to them.

Daff, that's exactly the background of this couple. Intellectual bohemian types. A bit like Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicholson I suppose, although that was a lot more to do with sexuality. I don't think you're garbled at all.

lol Chris!

I would call it " GREED " lol

xxLynnxx

My friend had an open marriage...I called it have your cake & eat it.

It was her ohs idea, she was 16 when they first got together, he was 18. She told me a few years later. It repulsed me that she welcomed him back into her bed, still warm from his latest bit of crumpet..It made me sick to see her flirt with the bloke at work, & tell me her plans. They also enjoyed threesomes as well, again his fetish (blurgggggh ! )

I stayed round their flat one night, we had a girl's night in, I had split from my long term boyfriend at the time & was feeling low.

I was awoken from my sleep on the settee by someone whispering my name...yeah ...it was him, stark naked inviting me for some secret fun with him. As if i wanted fun with my mates hubby the father of her 2 kids !

I will say, he had nothing to be proud about, in more ways than one lol !

needless to say, they divorced 9 years ago, and she is now happily re married to someone who values her and wants no one else

My opinion is, if you want to see other people, then dont commit to a marriage with one person.

Thanks for the explanation, David.

To my mind an 'open' marriage is not a marriage, at all. What's the point in making a commitment and, then, not seeing it through? Might as well stay single and free to do whatever and whenever.

Just my old-fashioned opinion!

Lindy xxx

and no, it wouldnt do for me,

xxLynnxx

I agree Mildred.Its immoral. I just couldnt do it or let OH do it. There must be something wrong in a marriage if you need to stray. Easy cop out rather than dealing with the problem.