General Chat

Are parents to blame for their children going astray and getting in trouble?


Caz xxx


Will add my views and experiences in a minute.

Any opinions?

Caz x

In some cases yes Caz...... some naughty kids are a product of parents who let them run riot....... others are kids that may have mixed with the wrong crowd or have other problems but the parents are doing their best to straighten them out ..... It's not black and white xx

I agree with Muffy Valxxx

i agree with muffy to sometimes yes but not always sometimes its they get in with a bad crowd
nature versus nurture again lol

Not always, no..............a close family member was a comlpete nightmare as a teenager, despite being raised alongside well-behaved siblings.

The system let him and his parents down by being way too lenient and soft on him.

It took a stay in prison to get him to straighten himself out.

xx

depends caz-not always.

I think some parents need to take more responsibility-but then you get parents that are always there and the kids go off the rails? It all depends on circumstances-every child is different.
catherine
xx

btw-I had a child in class the other week a lovely lad-he came in late one morning like 10.30-I said Oh J*** have you been to the docs or the dentist? No he said-I couldn't wake my mum up-so I thought poor kid-what's going on there-and he is one of the lovliest kids in the class.

I agree with Muffy also. Some parents do their hardest to keep kids on the straight and narrow. When they ask for help its all to often not available.

Give me a chance lol

Not always Caz. There are some parents out there who don't care what their kids are up to so long as they're not bothering them. They don't teach them right from wrong and deny that their kids could be the ones at fault.

However, this is not always the case. Sometime you will get parents with for example 3 children. Two will be grow up to be polite, well behaved kids, not angels but not yobs either. The third one will, for whatever reason, cause trouble and get into trouble with the police, yet have been brought up the same way. In this case outside influences are stronger than the parents. Many parents tear their hair out with worry and try everything but nothing seems to work.

Basically, sometimes it is the parents fault, others no it isn't....there are other reasons.

Juliexx

Thanks Ladies.

Its hard for me to be objective because of having a child that got into trouble. He was given sanctions, brought up exactly the same way as his older brother, same boundaries etc.

But it all went wrong with him, he began to mix with older criminals who used him as their funny, younger stooge who took the blame.

I believe some parents really dont care but its very hard for ones who do , to blamed when their children go wrong in life.


Caz xxx

I am trying to think on this Caz, and don't really know the answer......what sprang to mind immediately was seeing the face of the Yorkshire Ripper's father........he was in total disbelief that his son could have done such a thing.......and his other children were OK.....

i dont think parents are always to blame

some kids just lose their way in life

I have 5 kids. Four of them are fine, no trouble with police etc. My son however, has been in so much trouble. Its heartbreaking to see him in trouble at times. I have spoken to numerous professional people about him all they do is give a prescription for yet another packet of pills. Dont blame the parents all the time we do try our best x

Alkopahuntas, I also have 5, 3 have given me no trouble, second lad made life hell for a few years. His next sibling down has caused probs, altohough not with the law, think its learned behaviour.

I know I have done all I can, attended meetings, etc but i feel its too easy to blame the parents, many factors can be involved when a child looses their way,


Caz xxx

Hi Caz, done parenting classes etc, all for him, none of it works Seen psychiatrist also and getting nowhere. Just annoys me a bit when parents get the blame.

i say bring back corporal punishment in schools...that is where most of yheir time is spent, and where life is learnt.

If you bring brack corporal punishment, the gods will say thats teaching violence. But i understand what you are saying, Flip the coin, would you want someone hitting your child?

if they did wrong, yes.

I tend to agree len, the only way i worry about this is abuse of the system by an over zealous teacher who may have a vendetta against a particular pupil,


Caz x

No two children are alike even though brought up in the same way.They each have their own personalities,and,while some will listen to advice others will rebel.
Having said that,I do think that some parents are too interested in their own pleasures and let their children run wild,and get with the wrong crowd.
A lot of parents these days don't talk to their children and sit down at a regular time at the table for meals.
This sitting around a table is a good time to talk about what they have been doing,and about their schoolwork etc.
some children are mixed up because of broken down families,and don't have stability in their lives.
They have too many material things,and expect too much.
A lot of government interference in how we bring up our children can be to blame as well.A slap on the bottom,or legs never did me any harm,nor my children.Just like an animal a child has to know right from wrong.I feel sorry for school teachers who have to be so PC,so that respect for elders has gone.
Not saying all are like that,but when you see some of the states that our young people get into,it is worrying.
I'm not blaming anyone on here,and feel sorry for those with problem children,as they are caring parents,and believe me I have had problems with one of mine when a teenager,but we are talking of these gangs who are out all times of the day and night,just hanging about and drinking.I'd be out looking for them.

An old saying of my gran's........When they are little,they make your arms ache....but when they're older they can make your heart ache!