General Chat

alko ,
So sorry I didn't know that your son was autistic as I know what that entails,as my friend's grandson is the same,and she fought for over 7 years to get him out of mainstream school,as he was a big problem and couldn't be left to fend for himself and got into endless trouble,and that was from a very good home.

A lot of us on here were talking about the state the country is in with gangs on the streets at all hours.
It is very worrying to us oldies as we wonder what the world is coming to and fear for our grand,and great grand children.

God bless Len,


Caz xxx

thanks for an interesting discussion folks,......i now bid you good night. len.

Thanks Len xx

Thanks Len, i think I know what you mean,


Caz xxx

alko,
i apologise if i have been so blunt. my sympathies go out to you for your son`s condition and in no way can he be compared with the ne`er do wells we have been discussing. god be with you. len.

Have PMd you AK


Caz xxxxxxxxxx

Len, just need an answer from you. If you had a child in a special school would you like the sight of him/her being on the floor with his arms behind his back and he cant move? I know they have to be restrained but when u see it thats another story.

Caz. my kids dad doesnt want to know either. My son is 12 and been in so much trouble, I cry every night wondering what to do with him. I love him dearly but he is autistic, has adhd, and everything else known to man.

my answer is yes, alko.. children spend more time during the week with their teachers than their parents.why blame the parents.....school is where they get into bad habits if they are not controlled.....i rest my case..

I brought my children up to respect others, to say please and thankyou and to behave. The rejection of their father had a profound impact.


But i do not make this an excuse for second eldest son makes the wrong choices, all I am saying is that I , as a parent, accepted the responsibility of courts, fines, youth offending, parenting classes etc. What made me really mad was the system approached his Dad, who said he wanted no involvement.


Sometimes the case is not so clear cut.


Caz xxx

I think there are two categories of bad kids. Those who just are the way they are, maybe due to genetics. And those who are the way they are because of their parents.

I think the latter has two subcategories though. Those whose parents don't give a damn and teach them no respect and those whose parents who care but are perhaps too soft to lay down ground rules or enforce discipline...perhaps in combination with a genetic or behavioural problem.

There are also several other social factors that combine to create the situation that we find ourselves in with youth crime and 'bad' kids. Discipline in schools, TV, the quality of role models, the nanny state making people afraid to discipline their children. The changes in the way the police can interact with the public and go about their job.

So yeah, many factors and influences but ultimately parents hold immediate responsibility. Sometimes though, you can do everything right and a child just grows up bad.

Kay, a lot of us parents do take responsibility for what our kids do. But we are not always GOD, and when we ask for help where is it?

Sometimes humiliation seeks revenge for kids. Len . I know where you are coming from, but does it teach them right from wrong?

humiliation is a lesson which teaches them right from wrong. i stand by my views. len.

Yes they are,,,,because half the time parents are not that much older than their children,,,,,,,,,!!

most parents dont know where their teens are half the time,,,,,they are out their hair and not having the bothering them so thats ok,,,,,

If parents arent to blame in this day and age ,,,how come things that happen today didnt happen 30/40 years ago,,,,,,,,,,why because parents ruled and controlled their kids,,,,,,,,,,no teen would dare do what some do today because they have no fear of either parents or authority,,,,,,,,,in our house --a look was enough to bring you in line,,,,,,,,,,


Add-on,
it makes my blood boil when I hear,******,well its who they mix with *** passing the blame on to someone else,, load of bull,,,,,,,,if the child/knows right from wrong and is brought up to acknowledge that then no amount of who they mix with will make them stray..or do wrong when they know its is wrong....... parents need to .sit up and take resonsiblity for children,,,how they act is a refection of how you as a parent has brought them up,,,,

Why should any child be humiliated in front of the whole school? Yes it depends on the crime, but what are you teaching them.

agree caz, but punishment should be carried out in the presence of the headmaster, and in front of the whole school.

Have you ever seen your own kids being restrained by 4 or 5 teachers? I hope not. Unfortunately some kids come with problems which they cannot help. Shouln't we try to help them rather than hit them?

No two children are alike even though brought up in the same way.They each have their own personalities,and,while some will listen to advice others will rebel.
Having said that,I do think that some parents are too interested in their own pleasures and let their children run wild,and get with the wrong crowd.
A lot of parents these days don't talk to their children and sit down at a regular time at the table for meals.
This sitting around a table is a good time to talk about what they have been doing,and about their schoolwork etc.
some children are mixed up because of broken down families,and don't have stability in their lives.
They have too many material things,and expect too much.
A lot of government interference in how we bring up our children can be to blame as well.A slap on the bottom,or legs never did me any harm,nor my children.Just like an animal a child has to know right from wrong.I feel sorry for school teachers who have to be so PC,so that respect for elders has gone.
Not saying all are like that,but when you see some of the states that our young people get into,it is worrying.
I'm not blaming anyone on here,and feel sorry for those with problem children,as they are caring parents,and believe me I have had problems with one of mine when a teenager,but we are talking of these gangs who are out all times of the day and night,just hanging about and drinking.I'd be out looking for them.

An old saying of my gran's........When they are little,they make your arms ache....but when they're older they can make your heart ache!