General Chat

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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.



'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked
The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.



'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.




'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'





The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.





'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'
The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.




Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.


The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honourable reason, and in the best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,

All Us Women

from the one and only xxxxx
usual apologies no offense meant
xx

Hi Clue.......................

now running to work...............lol


Glynisxxx

Morning Glynis
Have a good one
Catch you later
xx

MORNING BUD

Morning mate
Perfect weather for you
freezing here lol
xx

Good morning/eveing
Chris hows you?
xx

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: " 9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36 ."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: " Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets ."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants ."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands ."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: " Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...."

Morning Ellan
Nice to see you pop up
How you doing?
xx

lol

Good morning all

hope you are all well today

xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning Jane
Hows you?
xx

I'll be good if I ever get warm

tests today
everything crossed please folks
xx

clue legs fingers arms my whole body is crossed for you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

im very well thanks clue

got to work today

xx

Thank you
I'm a nervous wreck waiting for this lol
xx

Have you two booked your seats for
tonights skating party?
xx

oh no i havent oh goody skating party

must make sure i dont fall over and bang my head

mind you my head still hurts a bit

hi ellan

hows you

xx

Wel get your name down on Queens list then Jane
I'm meeting you at the airport Tonight
xx