General Chat

Many woman are afraid of their first mammogram,but there is no need to worry.By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and do the following exercise you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercise right in and around your home.

Exercise one

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in the door
shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for
good measure
Hold the position for 5 seconds
Repeat again in case the first time
wasn't effective enough

Exercise two

Visit your garage at 3am when temperature
of the cement floor is just perfect
Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably
on floor
With one breast wedged under the rear tyre of car
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast
is sufficiently flattened and chilled
Turn over and repeat with other breast

Exercise three

Freeze two metal bookends over night,
Strip to waist invite a stranger into room
Press the bookends against one breast smash
the bookends together as hard as you can
Set up an appointment with the stranger
to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED
And just a thought for all the women out there........
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause
Ever notice how all women's problems start with MEN?
And when we have real trouble it's HIStrectomy!!!!!
PLEASE ALL WOMEN READ THIS HAVE A LAUGH
AND DON'T FORGET TO HAVE A MAMMOGRAM

A Friend is like a good bra
Hard to find
Supportive
Comfortable
ALWAYS LIFT YOU UP
NEVER LET YOU DOWN OR LEAVES YOU HANGING
AND ALWAYS CLOSE TO YOUR HEART
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CLAIRE

ummmmmmmmm thanks .... we think lol

I found it was ok, not nearly as bad as some had said.
One thing for sure, once you are in there you cant run off half way through lol.

Marion

And we all know the poem, right?

Tip -- never schedule a mammogram for the week before, or whenever your own worst time for all the PMS symptoms is. Bad enough at the best of times, but when you're all swollen and tender anyhow ... that was my first experience, and (since I could never predict) I rescheduled appointments a couple of times after that so I didn't go through it again!


ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM

For years and years they told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings
And protected them by Law...
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore a bra.

After 30 years of careful care,
The doctor found a lump.
He ordered a mammogram
To look inside that clump.

"Stand very close," she said,
As she got my tit in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah Yes! There! That's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal...
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down...
My boob was in a vice!!!

My skin was stretched and stretched
From way up by my chin.
And my poor tit was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!!!

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within its vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath," she said to me
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I can't breathe and woozy I am getting.

"There, that was good," I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying,
"Now let's get the other one,"
"Lord, have mercy," I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done
To her tender hide!

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now...
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped*****KER--POW!!!

This machine was made by a man,
Of this I have no doubt...
I'd like to get his balls in there
For months he'd go "without"!!!!!!


I hate to reproduce it without attribution, but I can never remember the author's name and google isn't finding it.

The hospital office where I scheduled my first mammogram had a pile of these on the reception counter ....

LOL!!

Can't you just tell that the device they use was designed by a MAN!! ;O)

n

I have 40 DD boobs, the thought of squeezing them flat fills me with horror. I am 52 do I have to wait to be invited for a mammogram or should I see my doc.?

Joy

Do it now, cariad. You're way past due.

It's a good idea to have a "baseline" mammogram done before age 40 -- so that later, they can be compared to your "normal". Once the baseline is done, you don't have to do them regularly until you're older or unless you have a family history or other risk factors.

Seriously -- 52 is too old to be starting, but it's never too late to start! And you just grit your teeth and bare/bear it. If we have to do it, you have to do it!

don't all women have to have one at 50 see your doc

clairex

I always thought they would only do them after 50 (if no problems of course).

Been wondering lately if I would get a call soon, will go to doctors soon to find out.

No family history of BC.

Joy

n

Joy, I turned 51 in September just gone, and a few weeks after that I received my first, er, invitation to have one.
Having heard all the scare stories about B.C. I thought I'd be a brave girl lol and have it done. The "gram" was done on Monday of this week, and it wasn't at all painful; slightly uncomfortable yes, but no pain.
A colleague of mine, who'd had it done before, warned me last Friday (just before she had her second "gram") that it was painful, and that she was dreading it. Then on Monday, she came in and sheepishly said that it was a different machine now, and not painful at all. She's about 38-40" so is bigger than me!
*sobs everyone's bigger than me!*
Seriously, go for it; we owe it to our two darlings lol.
x

God I laughed at the first post but soon stopped when I really did remember how painful mine have been. Seriously though it hasn't stopped me having them and was grateful 3 years ago when I found a lump which thankfully turned out to be a cyst. Multiple cysts in both breasts found. Anyone on HRT is likely to get multiple cysts in their breats and I was advised to stop taking it. Since then over 18 months ago no cysts at all.
Di

Please, please, please don't be put off having a mammogram because of the scare stories.

I was a 40 D (still am in one breast). LOL. I have had mammograms every 3 years since I was 50, twenty years ago. Perhaps I have been lucky because all I have ever had is a few moments of discomfort.

4 months ago I had a mammogram and a lump was found. It was malign and I have since had a mastectomy.

I wake up every morning so grateful that I endured a little discomfort and the lump was found before it was too late.

Jean x.

a few minutes of discomfort

could just save your life

so be brave mice and have it done

you only get one life don't waste it

thank you jean well done

for telling us of your experience

PLEASE KEEP THIS THREAD GOING

THANKS CLAIRE

Yes keep this thread on the first page, started off giving us a laugh - but ended up reminding us how lucky we are to be able to have these health checks.

I will look into getting my darlings squeezed soon LOL.

Joy

n

I'm a 34a so didn't think they would get my little boobs in their machine. But there was a determined lady in there every time I have been she pulled my little boob in this way then that way! Had several cyst removed over last few years.

n