General Chat

.MO PUT YOUR COFFEE DOWN THESE ARE REALLY FUNNY!

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered , half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 23 and 30 a woman is like America... well developed and open to trade, especially for high financed investors.

Between 31 and 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty

Between 46 and 55 a woman is like France... gently aging but sensual,
with an appreciation for the finer things

Between 56 and 60 she is like Yugoslavia... lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and in need of massive reconstruction

Between 61 and 70 she is like Russia... wide and unpatrolled borders, with a frigid climate that keeps people away

Between 70 and 80 a woman is like Mongolia... a long, glorious and all-conquering past, but not much of a future

From 80 on, a woman is like Afghanistan... everyone knows where it is,
but no one wants to go there

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 15 and 80 a man is like Iraq... ruled by a dick (tator)


From Julie

WOMAN'S LOVE POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.





MAN'S LOVE POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac who owns a bar on a
golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting.

They are good arn't they!
I can't claim them as my own though
xx
:0)

How do you think I go on editing them lol
Hope its a good day today'
I could really use one
xx
:0)

Cheers for that Ellan

Places smile on positive head lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Ellan
xx
:0)

How's this one look Ellan?
;D)

I hope so!
Can't make me mind up about the smile though!
Maybe this one?
xx
:D)

Twirls round the thread on tippy toes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xx

Morning all.....................
sunshine and smiles all round then.

Lin xxxx

you just keep making my day, i love them . I hope your feeling better, sending you love and kissesxxx

Morning Lin and Chef
Hope you have a good one.
xx
;0)

Thanks for the love and kisses Chef
xx
:0)

Hugs and smiles across the waves to you


Good morning

Have a good day ....just be careful with that whip

Cheers Uzzi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
accross the waves back
What you up to today?
xx
:0)

Well now I've cleared most of my in box out !! okay about half of it

The sun is out here so I might just have to catch a few late summer rays ..

on the other hand the company looks good on here.

Mind my mutts need a good walk today cos they haven't had a run since the rain it us (to muddy )

Yes the company is good here today
If you mean message box I know what you mean
Takes ages clearing everything out lol
Can only take mine for short walks he's got wonky legs lol
xx
:0)

good morning clueless.....and how true they are !!!

Morning Kem
How was your week-end
Good I hope?
xx
:0)

Morning Mo
Good to see you
How was your week-end?


Thought I'd better warn you
cos you'll be needing a new
keyboard with all that coffee
xx
:0)