General Chat

Miss, I've got an idea. If you can't find your dead rellies where they should be go to http://tombstone.dogcrap.net/create.php and create your own tombstone for them. No one will ever know you cheated.

Miss, Miss. I wanna no ow da sensus fella mayd me granma a boy? Er name wos Rebecca Lilian Turner an e sed she wos Tilby, an den Lillie, an den Liliam. '81'91'01 boy, gurl, gurl. Fink dey called er Lily! Wos it da saym fella wot rote it? Viv

Now class, please stop fooling around and pay attention. My star pupil Brenda has come up with an absolutely marvellous idea which, if we all adopt it, will make life considerably easier for genealogists across the world, both today and for future generations. Like all ideas of genius, it is very simple. Whenever you look at a Primary Source Document, such as a Parish Register and you cannot find your ancestor recorded there, even though you know they were born there, or anyway, should have been born there, or you would LIKE them to have been born there because it would tie in neatly with your previous ideas - why, just add the entry yourself! You see,that has made even PAT pay attention! Well, class, I think we should all say a very big thankyou to Pat for thinking of this and I shall certainly mention her name at the next International Convention of Genealogists. Just think! No more searching endlessly through unreadable records - a neat entry in BLACK biro please! should do it. No more missing ancestors, no unfinished trees, no more brick walls, in fact genealogy will henceforth be a changed science. Pat, Christine and Kate, I want you sat in the front here where I can keep an eye on you. I am rather worried about Pat and have spoken to the College Psychologist about her. He feels that she is suffering from her mother's vegetable fixation and would like Pat to go and see him after class. Baz, dont worry dear, I already have you earmarked for far better things than a GCSE, I think your parents will be VERY proud to hear that I am going to enter you for a very special examination in Genealogy WITH QUALIFICATIONS . This is the Diploma of Ancestral Family Traits and Baz, I know you are capable of passing this examination if you study hard and then you will be able to put those letters after your name. Now - some splendid news! The Jumble Sale planned for next wekend is cancelled, because the College has successfully applied for Lottery Heritage Funds and have been awarded a most incredible 2 million pounds! Isnt that wonderful! We have been awarded this money under the Human Rights Minorities Group, moist veg being a cause the Lottery Fund is very eager to embrace as it is a Minority group within a minority group, not many people wearing cabbage leaves on their heads (yet), this seems to be an affliction peculiar to this locality. Anyway, this means that we can now erect a magnificent canopy in the grounds, complete with refrigerated lockers and changing rooms and state of the art showers. Of course, as this will be considerably bigger than the canopy originally planned, the College have decided to demolish the Science block to make room for it. Exciting times class, Councillor Mr Bodger the builder is to undertake the work and is confident that it will only take a matter of a few years and should not go seriously overbudget although he cannot be held responsible for increase in the price of materials and labour and an estimate is not the same thing as a quote you know. Homework tonight. Errors of Transposition, no, dont groan, these are a very important tool in the Genealogists Armoury. As more and more people have access to computers, errors of transposition are becoming much more readily available. They are almost always keyboard errors and therefore the possibilities are endless and cannot be predicted. You can have endless fun turning Fred into Ferd - not too difficult to spot, you think - but what about when someone picks up Ferd, transcribes him to Ferdinand, transposes him to Fendirard - can you see where I am going with this? Also figure transposition CAN be fun too - your great-uncle born 1899 can instantly become unfindable - merely transpose the figures to read 1989 and he's vanished! Well, thats all for tonight, Pat dear, dont forget to go and see the College Psychologist, he is looking forward to seeing you, he is extremely interested in your condition. Kevin - did you just drop something dear? Yes, pick it up, its your Old Aunt Alice isnt it, put her neatly in your bag please. You young people are so careless with your ancestors, you have no idea how difficult it was to afford even ONE ancestorwhen I was a child, most families had to share. In fact my Grandfather used to collect pieces of ancestors and store them in the shed until he had enough parts to make a good one and he became rather famous locally and people would come from all over the place with ancestors that needed mending, or to see if he had any spare parts to fit. You would all do well to remember this when you are tempted to leave your ancestors lying around - someone may come along and steal them and you'll never see them again and it will be no-one's fault but your own.

Sorry Miss, I wasn't paying attention. The other children made me laugh and I knocked my cup of tea off the desk. It bounced on my partner's briefcase, pouring tea over his papers then smashed on the office floor. He has just gone to make my another cup. Jackie

Thank goodness for you crazy lot. You gave me a real laugh when I needed it. Thank you (keep up the laughter) Pat

Is it alright to put your hand up to ask questions? Reason I ask is last time I did it, I was told to leave the room for being nosy Miss! P.s Haven't finished my homework on time can I have an extension please? McDowell 5C

Don't be mean about my worms or I'll pull your hair. My mum says they're nutritious and full of protein, especially if you eat them wrapped in cabbage leaf.

Miss, My Mum believes everything she hears and there was these women who had all these old houswives tales that they swore would work for anything that was wrong with you. Mum reckons i needed apple cordial and lime juice together (in water as usual, but fairly strong, to stop the bladder business she says but now I've got the runs....... For dinner Mum gave me nutmeg to try and give me constipation. My Mum has been telling Christine and Kate's Mum's all about these great cures, Kate's Mum was really interested in how to get rid of the worms and her Mum is going to boil an onion then put it in an old sock and place next to the ear because it was aching, she is then going drop in her ear warm milk which brings them out and I want to know if Christine can sit beside Kate as one might pop out on the table. yuck Christine's Mum says that Christine has PILES her Mum was told the best cure is Lightly boil the juice of nettles with a little sugar; take 2ozs. It seldom needs repeating and at the same time Fumigate with vinegar, wherein red hot flints have been quenched.LOL Because they both think they are very funny and go into FITS of laughter the remedy was The blood from a live mole dropped on a lump of sugar, they havent found a mole yet, but they will the are determined women. Christine has funny habits she puts cabbage leaves down her front, I dont think that's a good thing to do especially when she forgets they are there and says I smell. PMSL... LOL... PMSL... LOL.................. Pat x

Please Miss, If we know they must have been baptised in the parish, can we squeeze the entry in at the bottom of the page? Please Miss, I know that others do it. AND I wouldn't EVER use marker pen, but is highlighter all right? I know the Victorians did it. You look at the registers for Askham in Notts. Pity it turns black with time.... Skool swot

I am rather surprised that news of the Field Trip I had planned has leaked out - have you naughty children been listening at the Staff Room Door? Pat, you may go home to change your underwear. Brenda, you have raised a very important point which is one I was going to bring up before we go on our Field Trip to the Records Office. It is considered genealogically VERY BAD FORM to try to delete your illegitimate ancestors from the registers with black marker pen and I shall be watching you all very closely. I too have my doubts about the accuracy of some of the PRs I have seen and some over-zealous curate with not enough sinners to attend to, passing his time by playing mix n match with births and deaths. One old PR I have been wading through was started about 1770, on a piece of paper the size of a tablecloth, but folded map-wise for ease of his work. He started very well, listing fathers occupation, mothers maiden name and so on, but as the years wore on, he got a bit fed up, his handwriting got worse and just before the end he was entering only the name of the child baptised, nothing else, not even the date. The later years showed signs of stuff being hastily added as an afterthought and as he didnt waste a single inch of this paper, he wrote some entries sideways. The blind photographer who eventually decided to photograph this lot just went straight across several times, not appreciating that the register had been filled top to bottom, then another column started. I was weeping by the end and Im quite sure I missed loads, what with trying to follow the Vicar AND the photographer. However, I digress. Other behaviour which will not be tolerated on our trip: NO digging your unknown neighbour in the ribs and shouting "Ive found him, the dirty old b....". No talking loudly, or softly, or muttering to yourself whilst you view the registers. No dropping of the registers, there are some very old people in these places and the shock of the noise could cause a rising of the lights. No asking the Desk Clerk to find your ancestor John Jones and arguing when he says he needs a bit more to go on, it is pointless to say "Oh, Everyone knew my Grandad, look a bit harder". Do not ask your neighbour "What does this say? Scuse me again, sorry to bother you, but what does this say?" No flicking your old ancestors over the balustrade, no chewing gum, and Pat, Pat Im talking to YOU, definitely no cabbage leaves.

Miss, Miss, Pat has just Peed Herself Laughing, although she tried to hide it as a Laugh Out Loud. I don't think she should be allowed on any field trips to Primary Source in case she has an accident.

This is sooooooh funny. Can I sign up to a class for how to deal with family members who are convinced Uncle Jim was born in 1897 in Chepstow when he was really born in 1895 in Aberdeen. Annie

Miss! Miss! Miss! Please Miss! Those norty boys in Norfolk, they wrote all over their registers. When they buried someone, they went back to the baptisms to work out how old they were. How do we know they picked the right baptism? AND I don’t think the baptism registers are always primary sources, or why are the entries out of order sometimes? AND when they didn’t know if they’d got a baptism or a burial ritten down, they put it in both places, just to be sure. Can I have a house point please? Skool swot

Home work marks Baz - excellent! You have the makings of a world-class transcriber. I shall watch your progress eagerly. Christine - I already have a death for this person, however, its such a common name in the area, I dont know if thats right either! I dont think these particular records exist as BTS but I am eagerly awaiting an on-line transcription of them. Before we start this evenings class I have a few notices to read out. The Principal has asked me to point out that this college has a strict dress code and the wearing of damp vegetables on the head is ABSOLUTELY forbidden on College Premises. In accordance with the European Directive on Human Rights number 9 billion and seventy three, however, the College Authorities have a statutory duty to provide an area set aside for the wearing and storage of damp vegetables. This is situated behind the Boiler room, next to the Smokers Den. Unfortunately there is not yet a canopy, we will be holding a jumble sale next saturday to raise the £445,687. which has been quoted to the Local Authority for the erection of a canopy.Please note the College cannot be responsible for any loss, theft or damage to your damp vegetables and you should arrange your own insurance cover. Anyone caught wearing wet veg on their person will have it confiscated immediately, to be returned on the last day of term. Uncollected cabbage leaves will be sold off to raise College Funds. Mr Seedie, the College Caretaker has also asked me to tell you not to throw your used or discarded ancestors at the light fittings, they cause a terrible smell and set off the smoke alarms. Please do not stick them under your chair, this is a filthy unhygenic habit. Wrap them neatly in biodegradable bags and dispose of them in the large Green Recycling Bin, marked IGI. As most of you already know, the IGI do sterling work in the redistribution of old, used ancestors and it should please you to know that these mostly go to third world countries who do not have any old ancestors at all. Mr Seedie also requests that you do not leave half-eaten meat pies at your desk, this has caused an unseasonably large increase in the incidence of Ptomaine poisoning amongst the cleaning staff, and he is going mad with all the form-filling. Finally, it is my sad duty to tell you of the passing of Elsie Tickle, who died last week at the grand old age of 217 (according to the IGI) Elsie single-handedly raised a family of 17, many of whose fathers are expected to attend the funeral service tomorrow. In accordance with Elsie's last wishes, she is to buried as Blodwen Jones, devoted wife of Geraint Jones and her grieving family have said they will make every effort to do this. Well, class, not much time for a lesson today, but next time we shall be studying Enumerator's Script. This is the art of taking a perfectly ordinary name and turning it into something completely incomprehensible. Practice turning Albert Munnings into Aululu UUuuuuuys and explain your thought processes as you go. Baz, you should find this easy, so I want you to also explain the thought processes which made Ethel aged 9, appear to be male to the Enumerator.

Excuse me...Miss Peek..... but as this is an online EVENING class...shouldn't I be wine, beer and fag monitor instead? Dee x

Miss Peek Are the Bishops Transcripts available to look at? Not sure if you would call these a primary source document. Maybe a secondary primary source documeny! Sometimes entries that are missed out of the parish registers appear in the BT's. Jeanette x

Great fun , BUT CAN i ASK WHO YOU ASKED TO SEND THE INFO TO YOU,SO WE DON'T MAKE THE SAME ERROR. i AM JUST SENDING FOR DOCUMENTS, rOSE

Marjorie, that's brilliant, can't wait for your next class. Now I could certainly write an essay on the correct etiquette required regarding your pile of crop, but the keyboard can't cope with all the *****s. Mandy :))

Christine Just what I was thinking LOL. or even PSML or whatever it is still LOL> Pat x

Dear Miss Peek, Sorry I had to laugh. I remember getting in trouble as a kid trying to hide my laugh. Please Miss, Can't you look for the death then and that should show when this person was born - would that be enough? Your humble student.