General Chat

thankyou all for your advice .i will take it on boardxxxxxx(:

thats mothers in law for you lisa, but for every selfish one theres ten good ones i was lucky and so was the wife lol

PS. If the 'Health Spa' is at home and the children, or in your case, your daughter, make up the treatments and act as the 'therapist' all the better. I'm not knocking health spas or salons but when my daughter twiddles my hair its faster and better than mogadon or ketamine! Abigail

I think you should invite both mothers and have three bouquets on hand. Two smaller posies for the older mothers with lovely card and nice thanks. Then your children and husband bring out a wonderful bouquet, a small item of jewellery and hand made cards from the children to you perhaps some perfume as well. Also if you decide to do a buffet at home (from Marks obviously!) they could also present you with a voucher to a health spa for a day, since you are not only a wonderful mother but a brilliant hostess and 'family coordinator'. Your mother will be happy they are making such a fuss of you. If you MILs bad side is furthest up then she will have her nose put out of joint, but if she says anything perhaps her son will see her for what she is, and her husband for that matter. If your MILs good side is furthest up then she will be fondly remembering how her children used to make a fuss of her when they were little and be all mellow and lovely. Have a brilliant day anyway. We do the family party plus church and brothers and parents and parents in law but as I have a really lovely MIL it isn't a chore at all. We have a wild time and usually end up playing bingo or with the children skipping with the big rope outside. I love to cook and we all live a reasonable distance apart so its always fab to see each other. The girls are getting older now so sometimes they do each others hair. The more the merrier is my maxim! Good luck Abigail

I dont know your Mother in Law lisa so I cant really say what is or isnt right when it comes to you. I can say though that when it comes to Mothers day here I remind my other half that I am not his mother I am the mother of the children but not him. Maybe coz three of my lot are boys and when my MIL is driving me mad then I turn it around and ask myself how I'd feel in the same situation. Same at Fathers day though.... Barry isnt my father... I have a father and its him I think of on fathers day. I buy gifts cards and gifts from Jimmy as he is only three but the older kids spoil Barry themselves the same way as they spoil me on Mothers day :-) Shaz xx

My ex husband was the same but his mother didn't care if he or any one else was in ear shot even her husband told her off he defended me only one that did

I unfortunately have a mil like Lisa. Nothing I do is ever right, she says downright hurtful things to me but never in ear shot of my husband. He always says just 'take her witha pinch of salt'. That's very difficult when she cuts you to the bone! My birthday is 13th March but wouldn't you know it, hers is on the 12th March. Mothers day is usually around that time (think its a bit early this year) so we always end up travelling for 2 1/2 hours to get to her house and make a fuss of her. Well, I have put my foot down this year and we're not going but he still hasn't plucked up the courage to tell her! Pam

Oh! Lisa I really feel for you my ex was one of 7 kids and I am one of 8 kids but if his mum wanted anything she got she shouted he asked how high but I got nothing even after she died I was still treated like crap his dad was the only one who defended me so every Friday I had him come round for his dinner but he was ok now I am with some one else now. But my ex mil could tell you stories that would make your hair curl

Lisa, I've got the answer! Invite her over for breakfast, offer her toast, cornflakes or whatever (after all, you've paid for it) - that way you can say you've taken her out for a meal and paid for it. Well, it was worth a try ......... Oh yes, and go out just the three of you for dinner later. There, see? Easy! Lol - and yes, I know - sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Sorry Lisa, but I couldn't resist the breakfast bit.

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We take a card & pressie to MIL on mothers day, we dont make a fuss, I do not think MIL is a wonderfull person, and hubby is one of six. But it is still his mum. And who knows how long we will have her for? (shes 81) We dont do anything special for eachother on mothers day or fathers day for the matter, we get each other a small gift from the kids.. (already picked mine out...a book for me hols) Seeing the kids eyes shine as they present their cards fills me with more joy than a special fuss being made. But I have never insisted that hubby take me out or even dropped hints for the matter, because im the mother of his children..not his mother. Puts it all in perspective when youve lost a mum and stepmum. the simple things matter most. Elaine x

definetly linda.will look forward to it.love and hugsxxxx(:

in all fairness patricia.my daughter is 12 and does know how to organise a meal.and if you lived with a mother-in law like mine then you would understand

deanna i cannot understand why some mother-in laws are like that deanna.they think they can say and do what they like as they know the sons will not say anything.this goes back along way and involves my daughter but cannot say.just makes me angry just thinking about itxxxxx(:

What about your husband Lisa, (poor man) do you not think that he wants to do right by his mother? as i said before, you are not his mother and your child is to young to arrange meals out etc..

Okay Lisa, I do know what a B***H of a mil is. I've had one first time around. If it had not been for me, she would never have had a present from her son. She always showed people..in my pessence what 'HER SON' had bought her for birthday, Christmas Easter, Mothers day. So I am aware.. Deanna x

nope i am sticking to my guns.if i do it this year then it will be the next then the next.my daughter is growing up fast aswell and i would like to spend this time with herxxxx(:

I don't know what to suggest Lisa as I'm extremely fortunate in that neither Mum nor mil makes any fuss about Mothering Sunday. They and I are just happy to get a card, a phone call and sometimes a plant for the garden and this year I shall be spending the day watching my youngest daughter in a gym competition. I hope you can resolve it. Daisy

Lisa I agree, she shouldn't expect something but it seems that's her way. If you are visiting her anyway with a card and pressie, I shouldn't feel too guilty at wanting to go out without her. Still think you might be able to smooth things a bit by an invite to your house though. What does hubby want to do? It's his Mum. You've either got to break the 'Take her out for a meal' routine sometime or stick with it for ever.

oh deanna i wasn't hurt by it.this women my mother in law will have it in for me no matter what i do.but i feel that this year i would like to be treated by my daughter who is only 12 years old.no offence taken my darling.love and hugsxxxx(: