General Chat

Keri, my thoughts are with you also...... My wife and I have a situation not unlike yours or that of Fred. Our elder daughter has a four-year-old daughter we have never been allowed to see, due to a stupid, minor misunderstanding with her partner, 9 years ago. She is intransigent despite several attempts of ours to bury the hatchet, and accept full blame for what was not ours to feel completely at fault for. Even offered to go along to a mediator of her choice, at a time and place of her choice; but to no avail. Thankfully, our younger daughter and husband had no such views, and we have been able to have a very close relationship with their 3 children. All grown up now, all teenagers, but still very fond of us as, of course, we are with them. The younger daughter says 'don't worry about her (her sister), it's her loss', but that doesn't help a lot. We went along to consult a solicitor specialising in family law to find about about 'Grandparents rights'. Grandparents rights; what a joke that is!! No such thing.......if the mother says 'No (you can't see my child)' then that's the end of the matter. No judge, in court, would grant a grandparent access to their grandchild under any circumstances once the mother has taken that stance. We joined the Grandparents' Association but they could offer no hope or advice on how we might get see our young granddaughter. Brian; ;~)

thinking of you (((((hugs)))))

Brian I am so sorry for you both, how old is your G/child now that you are denied the joy of seeing? Keri x

My thoughts & love are with you Keri there really isn't anything that I can say to ease your pain so I will Just send you heaps of hugs Love Cilla from Oz ((((((((HUGS HUGS )))))))

Theres a song one day at a time, I have a friend who is bringing up two of her grandchildren as their parent are not fit (drugs booze fighting) , she and her husband are doing a great job but missing out on their retirement freedom but would not have it any other way, god bless you. Annabel

OFF to fetch little darlings from preschool - more lovely cuddles speak to you all after lucnh weght watchers garlic mushroom recipe today yummee kerix x

Keri, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Sending you all my love becx

I clicked on this thread because it would have been my mother's birthday, sadly she died at 59. To lose two grandchildren to another family must grieve you so, hopefully they will bring joy to the adoptive parents and be loved and cherished, but this does not heal your wounds. What can I say, that hasn't already been said? How does your daughter feel? She must desperately need your love and support, whatever her situation. Keep smiling! Life will not always be good to us, it's not fair, is it? Lily xx

From one gran to another, Thinking of you Keri Magi

Hi Keri, I know this will be little consalation at the moment and I really feel for you, but can you not have contact with them still, nowadays, adoptions are more open and its encouraged that they can mainten some sort of contact with their birth family. Maybe they will not be able to let you know where they live now, but maybe the adoption agency can pass on letter and photographs between you and their adoptive family, that way you will still maintain a link in their lives, and know how they are doing, and if they so wish when you are older they will find it easier to seek you out, have you discussed this possability with the agency? Sheila

Keri Sending you big hugs today.((((Keri)))) I can only try to imagine what your feelings are as I am incredibly lucky to have all my 4 grandchildren living within 5 miles of me and see them often. Big hugs also to ((((Fred)))) and ((((Brian)))) Sue xx

From another gma - much love Ann

SheiIa I have managed to get social services to agree with me in that I believe that I have Hope and Anna' s future to think off as well, usually letter box contact is given so that birtH parent's and on rare occassions, g/parents send their adopted child/gchild a card on b/days ,xmas and 1 letter a year, I challenged this with social services saying that I wanted to have contact both ways so that Hope and Anna recieve cards from their younger sisters on their b/days, xmas and 1 letter each per year, I also suggested they add easter in as well, because of the circumstances they agreed with me so it has been given, at least it will mean that in the years to come they will not have to do as so many of us are doing -trace their families, as they will always know where each other are. As to my daughter, she sadly chooses to put her own and her partners needs before the girls, she lives in a world of drugs alcohol and crime. Beth also self harms and has tried to end her life on 3 occassions in the last 5 months, and yes I do find it hard to even think about but I have to live with this everyday, I owe it to the girls and to Oliver to protect them from such a world, Beth is missing out on so much, I keep contact with her by ringing her mobile but often do not get a reply and then spend the next few days until I manage to get hold of her worried sick that I may never be able to speak to her again. I love my daughter now as I did the day she was born - with that protective love a mother feels for her child, but as she grew up I had to accept that I can not live her life for her any more than I can protect her 24hrs a day. I tell her everytime we speak that I love her and hope that somewhere deep inside she remembers that, and that it pulls her through. Keri

Love and hugs, Keri - I don't know what else to say that will help. Thinking of you. Helen

Keri, So hard to find words so here's a big ((((((HUG)))))) love Jack x

i read your thread and all your replys, kerri and i admire your strength, i guessed from your other replys your daughter had all these probs you mentioned in the last reply, i tkae it the little ones live with you ? its so nice you managed to get social services to keep contact through mail, my husbands family were split up when he was little because of his mums mental state, unfortunately she chose not to tell them she had another baby after him, and 39 years later he stumbled on his baby sister, sadly the whole family of 6 children will never get together again due to the damage his mother has done, i hope one day soon you are able to see the two little ones who have had to go to adoption, your brave kerri, i wish you all the best

XXXXXXX HUGS FOR KERI XXXXXXX bryan xxx.

Keri, Like many others I cannot find words to describe how I ache for you. With a grandmother like you Hope and Anna are having the best possible start in life. I am sure Ebony and Amber will also be very happy children, growing up in a home where they are very much wanted and loved. I am sure that as all the girls grow they will keep in touch and always know how much they were loved by you. You have my complete admiration. Jean x.

Thank you ALL soooooooo much, its been a tough day and I doubt tomorrow will be much better, but I did smile today and I know I will tomorrow too. I am off now to get a nights sleep - hopefully, hardly closed my eyes last night Will speak with you all tomorrow. NIGHT NIGHT Keri (((((((( x x x)))))))))

I know it may not help much, Keri, but talking from 'the other side', so to speak, I'll bet anything that the adoptive parents are forever grateful to you - yes, YOU - and your family for giving them the love and stability the girls needed. Please Keri, never forget that. God bless you all, Bob's and my thoughts are with you, Glenys xx