General Chat

Wendy, even though I dont believe in 'organised religion' I think christian teachings would be a good thing at least it would give a child some sort of moral footing which is sadly lacking I would be all for it!!xxx

Roxanne Totally agree i thought the same, it might have only been plastic but one day it may not. You can have as many rules, policies, strategies etc in schools and maybe so in other workplaces, but if parents don't want to follow them etc, then they wont work. Its these parents who need to be targeted, fined or whatever will work, also i should be allowed to stop a fight by splitting them up and move a child from class after he/she has picked a chair up and threw it across the room. What about all the children who never put a foot out of place, always come to school, have manners, are helpful and good all the time. When i was little we didn't have the cane, the thought of going to see the head was scary enough and then more scary was your parents being brought in, it was more about being embarrassed and shamed than anything else. If something isn't done, then more fights will break out in schools, more bullying, less education going on through dealing with everything, also less people wanting to work in education. Its about time some action is brought in before it gets out of hand and weapons come in.

Toys from home are banned unless prior notice has been given for a special reason, class end of term etc. All toys that are weapon imitations, however childlike are totally barred. Quite often a toy will sneak into school via the book bag, and is confiscated until the end off class. Some kids are told time and time again, letters go home, but many parents do take no notice...or cannot be bothered to read the newsletters etc. I agree that some parents cant get it into their head that the school has rules for every child, we all think our child is special, but we also obey the rules. Ive seen little under 5s with nail varnish on, letter has gone home, they still return wearing it. How difficult is it to say to your kid, only wear that at weekends? Other kids wonder why some break the rules and get away with it. That in itself is confusing. Elaine x

Nicola, Im with you all the way, I just hope these new rules help, its about time the government did something about this, this time it was a toy, but what about when he gets to 12??? who knows!!

Most children in schools who show bad behaviour are not special needs children, Special needs children in schools fall into a different category, as these will be on the special needs registers, with an I.E.P in place which parents agree to, not only do they have their own programme of work and targets to work to, they are often supported more than any other child in school. I think that this is going off the subject about talking about special needs,to me special needs in school is not the problem, to me its about more discipline, more tougher measures being brought into school. Most children behave and enjoy school, but in a class you will always have at least 3 who ruin it. Thursday just gone, one child had brought a toy knife into school, the school policy is no toys, but parents don't listen, this child who is 5 by the way, got the knife out and stabbed another young boy who is 5 in the face, now only a red mark appeared, but that's not the point, the toy was confiscated, the child had a behaviour form, missed his play and a report was filled in for the parent, the mother kicked off,on me,the other mother kicked off on the other parent , a fight nearly broke out between them. The parent whos child brought the toy in, didnt bring him into school the next day, so the child didnt miss his playtime as she made her own rule and kept him from coming in. The next day the child who was hurt brought a toy into school to hurt the child who hurt him. His mother had told him to whack him in the face with it. Now this is the problem we are facing, parents and children who will not accept their children are in the wrong, children and parents who wont follow the rules, children and parents who threaten you, children and parent who take things into their own hands, children and parents who do what they want, when they want, etc, and we have no power over this. Also when the two boys were fighting, we are not allowed to touch the children to spilt them up as that brings a law suit, but if i don't split them up and they get hurt im also up against a law suit. We cannot win. We have lost 3 very good teachers, with another 6 thinking of a career change.

There are children with special needs and I can understand Elaines concerns, these children need to get the correct education with teachers that understand their problems and their parents problems, I cant comment on wether that help is there, because I dont know, but if its not there it should be, to simply say these children are badly behaved is not right, but I also have to say that some could use this as an excuse!!

Peter Its just that some don't realise that some kids are disruptive because of certain difficulties. Special needs children don't go round with a placard stating their disability, and normally look no different from their peers. So many are lumped together as bad kids...along with the ones who are just naughty. I certainly don't assume that all special needs kids are disruptive, and I'm sorry if my posts give the wrong impression. working in the school environment I have seen loads of special needs kids, many are sociable, well mannered and polite....but some for whatever reason, do misbehave, disrupt and cause havoc...but sadly they cannot understand why they behave like this, to them it is normal. Elaine x

Joyce, I quote what you wrote 'What puzzles me is the high incidence of 'special needs' Do you not think that a lot of these cases are the result of ineffective parents ??' You may not have said all....but even to say that some parents of special needs children are inafective parents may be upsetting annoying and frustrating to some. I do agree not all badly behaved children are 'special needs ' and with the right support to the teaching staff and the child, these children should be dealt with if the problem continues. Elaine x.

I have to agree with Elaine i have 3 children on the special needs register, one for deafness which is waiting to be operated on, one for dyspraxia and one has general development delay/learning difficulties. This does not make me an ineffective parent. They are triplets and were born at 26wks and this is the reason for most of there problems. You can not blame all parents for children with behavioural problems, yes i agree you can some but dont blame all. Like Elaine i work voluntary in my childrens school so i do see what can occur. Star

My mum works at a unit here in Essex that deals with children who are not at school. They are either: Ill Pregnant Phobic Troublesome/excluded The majority of the kids she works with are 'troublesome' and most of their parents do not give a toss! Unfortunately there's not enough space in her unit and there are many children who just do not attend a school of any sort. It's easier to let them slip through the net than spend more money on trying to help and educate them. Sad but true. becx

Joyce Please don't lump all parents into the same bracket. To call a parent of a special needs child ineffective is terrible. I agree discipline starts at home, but the lad I mentioned has two sisters and a brother, and they are all polite, well adjusted individuals, and the parents a lovely polite couple. Special needs is a wide spectrum of problems in a child, which can range from deafness, to behavior problems. Years ago (in the dark ages) such children were just labelled as naughty. There was no other explanation. Kids and their parents suffered. Parents were accused of being bad parents. As for parents of such children getting benefits, It all depends if they are on low income, the same as parents of children without problems. My respect goes out to all parents of a special needs child. Its often for some very hard work Elaine x

Bendy I know there are specialist places for kids that need help, but not enough to cover the whole of Harlow/Essex region . Lots of kids will miss out. The lad I was talking about now goes to a Harlow special school and is getting help there. The other kids with similar problems currently at school, I don't personally know the parents. There is little I can so or suggest, as I'm only a lunchtime assistant, and I often do voluntary help in the classrooms. There is a pupil confidentiality thing, so what I see and hear at school regarding an individual child, cannot be taken outside and discussed with others. That's why I dint refer to a child or situation by name, and why I cannot approach the parents to discuss the situation with them..Its the teachers job. So it would be wrong of me, if I find out who the child's parent/carer is, to approach them and suggest anything... I could get into trouble. Also may I add, that serious cases are statemented. Not sure what this means, but I know when they are, they receive more help. I also know some parents have to fight for this. Sadly some children are just under the borderline for this, and miss out on that help. Elaine x

Some years ago, we had a foster child who was being bullied because a child had taken a gun into school and he was accused of taking and hiding it. He and his friend, also accused, came home to lunch and I spoke to them and foun out what I could. J denied any involvement, which did not really mean anything as he always denied things, even if you saw him doing them. After lunch I went to the school with them, and the problem with the other child was sorted out, although noting was done aboiut the child who took the gun into class. (The teacher thought it was a sawn off shotgun, the boys said it was some sort of rifle.) Some years later a child was found to have a knife in the same school and a great fuss was made about it. Reports appeared on the radio and TV and the pupil was suspended. D

A couple of you have suggested parents going into the school, sitting in their child's class. My husband and I have offered to do this when our son was very disruptive during the months before the summer hols this year, but we were told 'It's not school policy'. So that idea went out the window.

behaviour in schools is the biggest ever problem, over the years it has gotten worse and worse, to the point now where children in reception class will swear at you, kick or punch you, telly you 'no' and then you follow the behaviour policy which all parents have to agree with before their child starts school, only to have parents coming in moaning that there child is being bullied by teachers, to be truthful your in a non win situation. Yes there is sanctions in school, miss a playtime, dinner time, go home for dinners, have your parent sit with you in class, lines etc etc, none work at all, as children don't fear anyone at all. Its about time something happened in school but more preventions and strategies are need to be brought in before it begins to get out of hand.

I have to dissagree that there is plenty of help at primary level. The lad mentioned in my posting earlier, has had the same behavior problems since nursery level (before he was diagnosed) Apparently he was supposed to have someone sit in class for x amount of time a week to give support...I believe it was only once or twice he had this help, then nothing. What these kids are supposed to get they often dont. Its not for want of trying for this lads parents... Its all down to money....

Patty, Hi nice to see you, I agree parents need to take more control too, its a matter of balance. Roxanne x

Bob, no more to be said!!lol respect I think that was called, I remember it somewhere down the line!!

When I was at Grammar School, When the deputy head, with his Cap and Gown, called out '' Boy!'' you immediately froze. you instinctively knew that he meant........... You!!! Bob

Hi Elaine, I do understand special needs. My nephew is autistic and I have taught in 2 special needs schools, one of which was for children with behavioural problems. This is why I say that violent children (whatever the cause) should not be in mainstream schools without one to one supervision. We have a duty to all children to keep them safe. If a child can be unpredictably violent it puts all the other children at an unacceptable risk. He needs to be in a school that can give him one to one supervsion. Gwynne