General Chat

Several people on here have said that they were never physically punished. What they have not said is what their general standard of behaviour was. We don't punish law-abiding people, we don't smack well-behaved children. However, there are always some who do not comply with the requirements of civilised behaviour. We can't take them all to Asda for rewards, so what do you propose rather than a short sharp shock?

I smacked my children, I was not violent in doing so, a short sharp tap if all else failed....followed by an explaination on why they got the smack. Elaine x

lol Morfydd - I'm not arguing with anyone, I was just agreeing with what Elaine & Karen had said. But I will add that I find it offensive to hear wonderful people like my parents, who smacked me infrequently as part of a loving and disciplined upbringing, to be lumped together with people who physically abuse their children.

And an assault is making contact with someone else in a violent way. M.

Excuse me Rupert, I am not upsetting anyone, I have my opinions and I will voice them and stick to them, if people get easily upset they shouldn't take part in discussions. So please don't insult me again and by the way, spell my name right next time. M.

ive not deserted this thread ive been viewing with interest and seem to be getting many varied points of view from people

Of course 'it' happened when you were at school, and further back. The difference was that you didn't have the media whipping up a storm and even if they had, you were probably too young to care. Some Scandinavian countries (I forget which ones!) banned smacking decades ago, and it's not often Scandinavia is mentioned as being a hotbed of social disorder.

Morffyd,Smacking is striking with the open hand, Hitting is the use of the whole hand down to the wrist. Dont upset people by confusing the two. Rupert

Malcolm, My Mother used to quote her own mother's saying - Spare the rod and spoil the child. I never thought much of that when I was a child, but I do now, figuratively speaking. When I became a parent, I decided to adopt a policy of 3 strikes and you're out. Any misdemeanour my son tried would earn a mild reprimand. If he did it again, he'd get shouted at, and if it happened again, he got a smack on the bottom with a hand. Not a hard smack, I hasten to add, just a firm tap. I did this from when he first started walking and 'getting into things', and it seemed to work. Once he became old enought to understand, I explained reasons why I didn't want him to do certain things, and he accepted that. He's always been well behaved and has always had great respect for both parents. I believe consistent discipline, applied from the start, is the best way to teach children self-discipline, and I despair when I see parents of young children ignoring bad behaviour and excusing it because 'he/she's only young'. That's the best time to teach them what's acceptable and what isn't. If you leave it till you've got an unruly 11-year-old, that's asking for trouble, in my book. CB >|<

David, Karen and I have agreed to disagree I believe, so it's pointless arguing the same point over and over again. M.

Karen & Elaine are both right - smacking and hitting children are very different things - you only have to look at a dictionary to understand the difference:)

That's fine Karen, we will agree to disagree. M.

Morfydd I will still stick to my opinion that there is a difference. Karen

Karen, it is very easy to use two very extreme examples to compare hitting and smacking, but I will still stick to my opinion and nothing will sway me from that. M.

Harlowgirl Elaine Well said! x karen Morfydd i agree wholeheartadly with Elaine. I would never assault anyone. When one of my daughters was 4 years old she ran into the busy main road, luckily no cars was coming! I gave her a smack on her backside! Is that the same as a parent who throws their child round the house and hits them round the head for not doing their homework! Or kicks their child! I would never hurt my children!

I will stick by what I said smacking and hitting are one and the same thing. If I decided to assault someone, I don't think the police would let me off if I told them it's ok, I only smacked them. Using violence is not the way to solve things. M.

Morfydd, I'm not sure about Karen's definition of smacking but I disagree with you that they are one and the same and both assaults. If you watch any mammal with young and some non-mammals too, you'll find that they control the young ones with a physical action when appropriate. Deer, cows and horses even kick their young out of the way if they're trying to nurse and mum has had enough of them. Babies that climb over adults get a thump when the adult has had enough. I've seen adult elephants rush over to where a group of calves are fighting and lay into them with their trunks to make them stop. The list could go on and on. Young humans are like young anything and there are many ways to teach them that the adults are in charge. Young humans are not necessarily the listening, reasoning creatures we'd like them to be. To my mind, smacks and hits differ in their severity and the reason why there are meted out.

I have smacked my children Beating is assault...smacking is not. I have never assaulted my children.....ever....and oppose strongly to being made to feel that I have.

Jayvee, I disagree there were many incidents of crimes involving children years ago just as there are today, as I said before we didn't have such media coverage then. Karen, can you explain the difference between hitting and smacking, they are both one and the same, both assaults. M.

Unfortunately Elaine it is not a small minority... you only have to try to get off a bus as the school children are getting on to know there is a distinct lack of manners in todays society. Try walking down the street when the teenagers are congregating in groups... they simply refuse to move to let you go by... many times I have had to walk in the road to get round them. Good manners are the bases of any society and they should be taught in the home and by example. Jean x.