General Chat

Don't forget that burial plots may sometimes form part of an estate. My friend's mother died young and was buried in a double plot. Eventually her husband remarried and he told my friend that he now didn't think it would be right to be buried with his first wife but the space should be reserved for his adult disabled son, my friend's brother. When the father died without a will, his estate passed to his 2nd wife and or HER death to her own family... This included rights to the burial place. Not only did my friend receive nothing from her father's estate, ( and even paid all funeral costs) but it was a really hard job getting permission to bury her brother with their mother, when the time came.

I live in the Marquises Islands, What I own is a fraction of the cost of my wife flying from Wales, or either of my daughters flying from France to collect it! even the shipping would cost more!. Napoleon, bless him, (I knew his GGG Nephew) left the 'Napoleonic code' which states that the estate of the defunct goes to the spouse or, in the event that there is no spouse, to the children, in equal amounts, no exceptions. Germany is similar; But, to my recollection, in Britain, it is the oldest surviving son who inherits and so on down the line..... Unless there is a will. Only in the event of no family being found would it revert to the state. Remember the book 'Kidnapped'? An ever remote relative, if found, has claim. Although they don't deserve it, my personal files will, I hope, be sent to my daughters, (all the bumph on our ancestors and my yacht's log books, etc) the rest, the computers, scooter, and grubby cooker, can be left for those who make my coffin! (One dies, a coffin is made that evening and you are planted the next day!) All I need is the address of a daughter stuck above the computer !

but don't people contess (spelling) a will if it's not to their liking? Claire

OH and i have joint ones - everything to each other, provision and guardians for children, and if we all four of us all go at the same time, the Bristol Maternity Hospital will get the lot. OH's lot are so grabbing that I often feel that if he dies first, I will have photocopies made, hand them out at the wake and say 'there you are, now you know you're not getting anything' Lisa

if you don't make a will, it does not necessarily go to the State. My father in law's cousin died four years ago. Apparently, he fell out with the rest of the family thirty years ago, and when he retired he moved to within half a mle of the family but did'nt tell them. He died alone and no one attended his funeral as no relatives could be traced. However, an eager beaver at the council traced the family a year later and twelve rellies are each £2,000 better off. I am sure this is not what this cousin intended as the previous dispute was over some money he thought he was entitled to!

I haven't made a will yet but me and hubby have agreed we should, especially as we have 2 little boys - we need to decide where they should live (obviously I think with my parents, he thinks with his!) if they are orphaned. If we find it difficult to decide just think how difficult it will be for our families! Also we have a house and other bits and pieces but it's mainly the boys I'm thinking of. I know it's not something I like to think about, but I guess we should do it soon. joanne

Just when you think, you've found a way to be IHT efficient along comes the government and changes the goal posts!!

I'm not sure whether the law here in Australia is different to the UK, but here your estate does not automatically go to the Government. There is a procedure that is followed if you die intestate and certain next of kin are entitled, right down the line, including people like grand nephews, etc. So this is why you should make a Will, to ensure that your estate goes to the people you really want. Particularly if you don't have any children. You mightn't like some of your distant relatives and would prefer to leave things to a charity. I'm sure the law in the UK would be reasonably similar to Australia, but this is something you should check and this is way you should MAKE A WILL! Lewella

Me and Hubby havn't, we don't have any children, so we just forgot about it...however, we worked out the other day we have about 500k tied up in property and insurances, savings etc...so really we should, or our greedy unworthy ones will get it! Yes thats right, THE GOVERNMENT!!! Kila

Could I just say that sometimes older people do not think they have a lot to leave. My Dad said all he had was his wee terrace house. He used to tell me tthat when he died (as I am the eldest) sell the house and divide it among us all (bros. & sisters). He would not make a will, insisting I knew what he wanted. It wasn't until another older friend told him the state could get it all if he didn't make that will. Well he finally did, and when he died his 'wee house' was valued at over £96,000 - a lot more than he would ever have thought! Anne

I havnt made one yet but all will be left to my 3 kids and they can decide what happens....

Yes I have made a will, and so has my husband. We both have children by previous marriages and wanted everything covered in that respect.

As a single person I am considering making a will when I have decided who is to get what, also have forms for paying for my funeral, there are too many people around who could perhaps make a claim on what little I have but then not be responsible for funeral arangements (specially the paying of) so have decided that I want it all sorting now while I'm still able, I wouldn't like to think of any falling out or hassle.

I think you need to have a copy of the will in the hands of a good solicitor and tell your children where the will is held. I know of a young woman whose parents divorced, mum remarried, made a will and when she died her new husband denied all knowledge of the will and daughter and grandchildren got nothing. I can't believe that this woman would have wished for that to happen as she adored her grandchildren. Heather

Ours are identical wills. Everything goes to each other then to our son. It is also written into it that if we both die while our son is still a minor, then a married couple of our sons godparents take over bringing him up, with power for everyday decisions over his life. Major decisions must involve his other two godparents also. They have permission to sell the house etc and invest the money, giving it to our son as they think fit when he is older ie it is for if he goes to uni, or when he wants to get married or when he wants to buy a house. In other words the godparents will be the ones to judge his maturity whether he is able to be responsible for the money. The solicitor made a copy of our wills for all godparents so there will be no arguments later over who is responsible for what. If they have any queries, they can ask us to clarify it now. Dianne xx

Absolutely right, if it is not written down, it might well end up in the very person's hands who you destest. By the way - you cannot write in a will that you do NOT want such and such to go to your evil sister, for example. So make sure you specify where you DO want your things to go. And remember, if you have made a will, and then your circumstances change, ie you divorce, or you get married, that will becomes invalid - you must make a new one. I had an aunt who died without making a will. Everyone in the family knew she wanted all her stuff to go to her 2 nephews (she was a widow with no children), but she had a lot of brothers and sisters. But she had not written down her wishes. Her eldest sister (they hadn't spoken for 20 yrs) was the one who made a fuss about it (where there's a death there are 100 rellies who suddenly turn up) so all my aunt's stuff had to be divided up around the whole family....25 plus people.

Okay, now from a legal point of view! My husband is a Solicitor and I am a paralegal who has worked in the industry (non-stop [rats!]) since 1981. Dying without a Will should be a crime. There is a very old saying which rings true to this day 'You know not a man until you share an estate with him'. When money or assets are involved, no matter how small, they come out of the woodworks with hands out! Even if you don't specify everything down in your Will, leave a book for your Executor. e.g. Cousin Nelly is to have the ruby ring, Grandson John is to have the welding equipment, etc. Even things like 'Personal effects not otherwise specified are to be sold and the funds divided equally amongst the beneficiaries' or 'are to be sold and the funds given to ???? charity'. This will save your family an enormous amount of grief at a time when they shouldn't have to deal with any more. MAKE A WILL!!!!! Lewella x

Believe me James, there are just as many problems when someone dies leaving a will - I've experienced it :)

If I may make painful reminder, Pink Diana illustrates a point, on the death of her father, with her mother claiming the dwelling, she may well be right, I do not know, if she claims legally, then it could tie up the estate for years James

People keep saying but I have nothing to leave, look around the dwelling, most have Television, Video,DVD/CD, Fridge/freezer, Mircro wave, stereo, COMPUTER/printer or you would not be on here, gas/electric cookers, furniture,beds bed linen,curtains, if you had a fire and had to replace it it would certain cost more than a £100. I have a step daughter who is half sister to my daughter, in the event of my death, she would not be entitled to anything, unless she was named in the will or any of her issue or as the solictitor said, also the issue of the issue which did not make sense at the time, but did when she had children. If you are on your own and have no will then it would go to the State, it is no good saying, but Uncle/auntie promised me ....... so and so, unless it is written down.....Tough. There was a man who lived next door to my daughter, he came back and looked after his mother until she died, as she had not left a will he had to leave the house and it was sold. It was no good him saying 'But my mother promised me the house until i died' I also have a Funeral Plan so they do not have pay out anything and you can specify your wishes for the it - like no flowers. I am not a Solicitor or a funeral director, just someone who had a lot of problems when my mum died James