General Chat

I'm oppsite to what daniel said, I could forgive friends more than I could forgive family. Did I mention I have a sister who I haven't spoken to in 4 or 5yrs???

Yes I do Diana, theres no point harbouring bad thoughts, I try to move on and forget, and that for me is the hardest part. Heather x

Depends on what it is If it really hurts me or my family then NO WAY -I'm stubborn when it comes down to something like that. I have rellies I haven't spoke to in 8/9 years due to hurtful things they have said and done and I have no regrets, my immediate family mean more to me than the rest Joanne

There have been many times when I have been unnecessarily sharp and unkind, and hurtful to friends and family, and I always hope and ask that they forgive me. Thankfully, they have. So I forgive them when they hurt me too. Which reminds me, I fell out with my sister a month ago when she was unkind to me, and havent spoken to her for a while now. Time to ring her I think. Life's too short xxxx Dee x

Am afraid that I am not very forgiving.......not one of my better character traits..........

Dee - it took my sister 4 years to forgive me for something and its only after my parents split and I took Daddy to hers for a holiday (without me and I drove all night to get him there) that she realised my mistake was nothing compared to the mistake of losing a sister unnecessarily!! Thankfully Daddy was alive to see his children speaking again!! Dread to think if she had carried it on for a further 6 months what would have happened!! xx

In a word, no. Perhaps that's wrong and I didn't used to be like it but perhaps it comes with the realisation that I have less time to live than I have lived already and I have spent too much of that time pretending things don't hurt or don't matter: forgiving if you like. As far as I am concerned now, I don't need the hassle of forgiving someone if they have let me down or hurt me in any way. If I meant anything to them, they wouldn't have put me in the position of having to forgive and they are the sort of people I can do without. Mags xx (who isn't nearly so cross as that makes me sound! LOL)

No! Once bitten twice shy. An elephant never forgets. Grayxx

I tend to forgive, and forgive and forgive but then I finally snap and say enough is enough! I believe that life is too short to spend time with people who are deliberately unkind or hurtful. I have a rule of thumb ..... think about the person you are angry with, if they died tomorrow would you regret falling out with them? If the answer is yes, then forgive them and carry on ... if the answer is no..... leave them and move on. It may sound simplistic, but it works for me. If I care for someone then I can`t see the point in staying angry for long. Frances

I used to be really stubborn - could not forgive or forget - all changed when someone really close died suddenly in an unforeseen accident - and yes it was too late to say sorry. Live really is to short. Dorothy

Wise words frances!! xx

Thanks Diana, I`ve learned the hard way! Hope you are ok. Frances x

I don't think you can ever completely forgive anyone - it's always at the back of your mind they will let you down (or whatever) again and you're always wary of it. In some instances I might give someone a second chance, but generally I don't see any point in doing so. A leopard doesn't change its spots. AL

Yes, usually. If I love someone and their intention was not to hurt me but the hurt was accidental then I find it easy to forgive. I would find it very hard to forgive someone who had caused hurt intentionally but I can't remember that ever happening. Gwynne

I never forgive those who intentionally hurt people I love, though. Gwynne

This surely is one of the hardest things to do ? - but liberating if we manage to do it, and tell the culprit we've forgiven them. I don't think forgiveness has to be a mushy or sentimental thing. Maybe it's a case of choosing to stop holding a grudge. Anyway, It's good medicine. Could it be ourselves we hurt the most by holding onto resentment ? Joy - not daring to cast the first stone.

It's very odd. I used to bear a grudge for ages but I have matured in the last couple of years. As I see it now, in many cases, not forgiving someone and holding it against them is a poison in my system and does not help me. There are still a few people I will never forgive but as has been said before, life is so very short and not worth freezing out people I love. My family have hurt me many times but they're my family and I'd rather try and forgive them and have them in my life. Becx (feeling rather philosophical)

I think when I was younger I put up with being walked over and people doing things they shouldn't. Now I'm older and maybe wiser I don't put myself up to be hurt anymore. My sister used to be the one in the family that caused trouble when it suited her and I never said a word. It all came to a head almost 5 years ago and she caused a real rift in my family. So at long last the worm turned and I thought do I need this, no. Haven't had anything to do with her since and life is so much easier. Just because she is family doesn't mean I have to like her or get on with her. Now if someone upsets me I just cut them out. Works for me.

Forgive - whats to forgive we all make mistakes Forget - err what was the question? ;-) seriously I try not to hold grudges, they only get in the way of more important things

Sorry Carol, have to disagree. The incidents I am thinking of are beyond forgiveness. I am not talking about insults or unpleasantness but serious offences against another human being. It is easy to judge when you don`t know all the facts. Frances