General Chat

Lots of useful tips on here and I hope something will trigger a smile or response from our downhearted friend. I have to admit I have been very depressed at times in my life, but things do change and improve if only a little bit at a time. Never be afraid to ask for help, whether on here or at your doctor's, or from family and friends. If you can manage to find a little joy in something, like a flower opening or seeing the sun come out, you will be ok, and there is joy to be found everywhere if you let it in to your life. If you are not taking medication already, or want to do things naturally, talk to someone at your natural health store. There are herbal remedies that will help, I found Passiflora Aviva drops helped me stay a bit more emotionally level, or try the Bach remedies, or those New Era salts. Take care, whoever you are, thinking of you. Liz

If its likely to be an ongoing problem, see if your local library stocks any books by Dorothy Rowe. She is a psychologist, who writes mainly about depression, but deals with other problems too. She is the most wise and sensible person I have ever read and will make you look at things in a different way. One of the things I learned from her books - rid yourself of negative people, that is, people who give you only negative feelings about yourself. I thought about this and realised that I must be giving off some message that said 'Willing Victim - Bullies Hit here Please'. Now my friends and acquaintances only consist of people who make me feel good about myself. This isnt vanity, it is essential for good mental health. OC

Jess Know what path your friends down at the moment,just be there when she gets to the bottom and walk back up with her an maybe hold her hand if she stumbles,been down that road myself,If i did'nt joke about sometimes i wold stil be down there Love Gwen xxx

First - have a long hot soak in the bath using some of that special essence you have been saving. Second - play music with the volume turned up Third - have a couple of glasses of wine Works every time for me, makes me feel really good again when I am feeling down. Julie x

something to motivate you.... When things go wrong as they sometimes will; When the road your're trudging seems all uphill; When the funds are low, and the debts are high; and you want to smile, but you have to sigh; When care is pressing you down abit rest if you must, but do not quit; Success is failure turned inside out the silver tint of clouds of doubt; and you can never tell how close you are it may be near when it seems so far so, stick to the fight when your'e hardest hit it's when things go wrong you mustn't quit... Libby :))

1) Hit squidgy tomatoes with a hammer (best done outside) 2) Put music on LOUD – nothing soft and soppy but something that makes you want to dance – and dance! 3) Go smell the flowers in the garden 4) Go for a walk and talk to any neighbours that might be about even if you’ve never spoken to them before 5) Have a bonfire (again best done outside) 6) Polish some thing until it gleams and work hard at it or clean out a cupboard or some other job you’ve been putting off. The sense of achievement will give you a boost 7) Assuming you are a woman – put on full make up and wear the highest heels you have, even for walking about the house in. It will make you feel special 8) Go and have your hair done (actually proven to be as effective as antidepressants in lifting a woman’s spirits – I kid you not!) 9) Get someone to massage your feet – or sit with them in a bowl of warm water while you have a read. 10) Talk to yourself in a mirror and ask what’s wrong then answer yourself. See how far into the conversation you can get before you start laughing. Hugs anyway! Mags xxx

OC ............... that gives hope.

Got the colder weather, sour relationshops, no money, poor health, plain ol' down 'n dirty blues? Try some of these strategies to blow away those dark clouds and let the sunshine into your life again. 1) Dance! Put on your favourite music, turn it up loud and dance! This is guaranteed to make you feel good. If you are unable to dance, don't let that stop you having fun - sing at the top of your voice instead. 2) Smile! Force yourself to smile even if you don't feel like it. This tricks your brain into thinking that you are happy. You do want to be happy don't you? Okay then - a great big cheesy grin. After three, one, two, three, - smile :0) 3) Spend time with children. Their natural zest for life is infectious. As well as the pleasures of a spontaneous hug or a chubby little hand in yours, try to take away with you some of their joy in simple things, licking an ice cream, playing with water, tramping through fallen leaves or following a butterfly. 4) Reward yourself. If there is a job that you hate to do, household accounts, home repairs etc. don't keep putting it off so that it is constantly nagging at you. Just get it done. Then reward yourself with whatever you love, a shiny new magazine, a bunch of flowers, a long soak in an aromatic bath, two bars of chocolate or an evening in front of the tv doing absolutely nothing. Or even all of the above if you can afford it. The peace of mind that comes from having got the job done will be the greatest reward of all. 5) Clear out your clutter. The ancient art of Feng Shui believes that getting rid of clutter rids your home or work space of negative stuck energy and allows space for positive energy to surge into all aspects of your life. Whether or not this is correct, it is an undeniable fact that clearing out what you no longer want or need makes life easier. Your home is neater, looks more spacious and is easier to clean. There can also be a tremendous feeling of freedom as you let go of the past and trust in the future to bring you what you will need. Emotional clutter can be even more damaging. We've all said or done things we regret, the trick is to do anything you can to repair the damage and if that is not possible, forgive yourself and toss it out of your life. 6) Take action. If something is worrying you, be it a health problem, or debt or divorce, make that doctor's appointment, get some debt counselling, find out your rights. The reality is often less stressful than sitting alone worrying about it. Try to talk over your problems with a friend, or if that is impossible find a support group on the Internet by typing debt, divorce or whatever into a search engine. 7) Positive thoughts. When you leave the house each morning, say and mean, I'm going to have a great day, it's going to be lots of fun, rather than thinking Oh no, another dreary day at the office to get through. The first attitude will attract good vibrations and positive fun people to you, the second will ensure a depressing day. 8) Have more fun. Apparently children laugh approximately 400 times a day yet adults laugh only about 20 times a day. When do we lose our sense of fun? Claim it back. Play games, watch comedies, have daily jokes delivered to your mailbox or throw a fancy dress party. 9) Make something. Being creative gives you such a buzz you won't stay down in the dumps for long. Stencil a room, make a cake, plan a garden, sketch or paint a picture. Express yourself with a modern collage, change your rooms around, display your collections or start a patchwork quilt. 10) Keep a gratitude journal. Write down half a dozen things every day that you are grateful for, from waking up and seeing your children's beautiful little faces to the smell of the roses in the local park. This cannot fail to cheer you up if you do it regularly as it gives you a whole new way of experiencing your life. 11) Start a new project. Learn a language, trace your family history, redecorate your home, learn to ride a horse, gain a new qualification, take music lessons, learn to make your own soft furnishings or do your own auto repairs. Visualize yourself successfully completing the project and the benefits it will bring to your life. Then make a start and follow it through to the end. An added bonus will be the increased self esteem that comes from having planned, problem solved and perfected the whole project yourself. 12) See your old friends. It's easy to get into a work, family, housework, shopping, sleep and back to work again routine that leaves you no time at all to be the person you once were. The funny, up for a laugh, outgoing young woman you used to be. Spending time with friends who knew the old you seems to resurrect that side of your character. You will come away feeling younger, more positive and more excited by life than you were before you met up. Go on, invite them over to share a pizza and catch up on each other's lives.

I completely agree with OC, although your feeling low at the moment and feel like it will never pass, i assure you it will. Try to look at whats going on for you in a objective way. I know this is easier said than done especially when you are feeling down. Please allow yourself time to work through your feelings and don't expect an instant result, I believe we have to go through the process of feeling down/low to enable us to be up-lifted again. Life unfortunatly is a journey of ups and downs... Have faith in your journey and im sure all will seem better in the end! best wishes libby xxx

We don't know who you are, but that does not matter. What matters, is that you feel low... I have , like most people, been there. All I can say is ' this too shall pass' ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Deanna X

failing everything else, have a nice bottle of wine :o)

To 'one of our members' who is feeling low at the moment ............. Is there somewhere nice you can visit which has happy memories for you? A nice walk through a local park? Think of the good times - think of someone who is worse off than you - try to be positive - set yourself a challenge to get through one day at a time by doing something positive to change your current frame of mind - turn to your friends for support. And finally lots of hugs, prayers and best wishes coming your way.

When I feel down I like to put on some uplifting but mellow music and have a nice pampering bath - get all the best smelly stuff out and just chill and try to relax. I always get out feeling refreshed - kind of like washing the blues away. Kaye x

Yep, Marion, it IS true. Fifteen years ago I was seriously suicidal.I could not see any way forward and didnt have the energy to even think about it. I thought I was hiding this feeling very well, but a work colleague picked up on it and made me promise not to kill myself for six months. He said, if by that time, you have still not seen one glimmer of hope, then you can do it with my blessing. Well, at the end of 6 months I felt only very slightly better, but the suicide moment had passed and I plodded on. Today, looking back, I marvel at my grief and distress - it was not worth it! I am now completely contented (worth much more than happiness, in my book). Of course, the problems our member is going through may be nothing like mine, and may be a genuine cause for grief, but I would still say, all things pass, you simply cannot maintain a level of complete misery for ever. Sit tight, and wait for it to ease.It will. OC

Your road to happiness is just under construction at the mo. Whoever it is, we are all around you thinking positive thoughts and love to you. Liz x

The light at the end of the tunnel is not always an oncoming train love Barbara..xx

A long walk in the fresh air .... shoulders will be hunched maybe at the beginning but hopefully not at the end. That was very philosophical, Old Crone .... is it true ?

sorry Jess

(Em - you ARE naughty...) Get in the bath, have a good blubber, get out again and spend the rest of the day looking for something to hide your puffy eyes with. Seriously though - It will pass, I promise you. Everything passes in the end and what is your profound misery today, you will look back on ten years down the line and wonder why it made you miserable! OC

....and before anyone asks ... it's NOT me either ! Hi Jess x Bye Jess x Dragonfly ... you asleep yet ? Elaine ;-)