General Chat

Gill glad you did post even when you think you know the answers it helps getting other peoples input even if you have never met them. Scary first time youo do it though. Hope the drink helps. Question for you on a totally different track is that coffee shop still in Aylesbury that ground the coffee and had the grinding machine in the window. Used to love walking past for the smell and what about the turkey and chicken things in the arcade bit that children used to climb on and through.

gill, what a nightmare for you. Is she generally confused (i.e. about everything not just money?) I have a feeling that there is something in law about professional institutions giving financial advice but can't find itanywhere. I am sure you should speak to somebody at CAB, theyw ill be able to tell you. I can't see how they can have given your Mother that large a loan when she doesn't own her house and doesn't have a large income. Likewise how come they let her increase her credit card payments to the limit. There is something very strange here. I would be tempted to write to the financial advisor in the daily Mail for help if you can't get it from the CAB. Just a thought, she can't remember what she did with the money. I suppose there is nobody preying on her and taking the money off her? Ann Glos

Hi Dawnie I don’t get into Hale Leas as I can’t walk very far but just asked OH and he says it was there today when he walked through :-). The drink is going down nicely and the shakes have just about stopped. Thanks Gill

Ann has made a good point there!! My sisters MIL was being fleeced by her carer so watch out for that!! xx

Hi Ann No she isn’t confused, just doesn’t think of the consequences The thought had crossed my mind that someone has put her up to it. She says she can’t find her statements from the bank but I think she has probably destroyed them. (Ostrich syndrome). I must say that her advisor at the bank has been great to her, she even gave Mum some of her own money when the over draught reached the £1000 mark and they wouldn't let her have any money. Mum wouldn’t let her contact me. They will print out her statements for me. Maybe I can find out where the money has gone from there. Gill

Hi I work in building Society as the manager and I'm gobsmacked at what I have just read. First you need to exhaust their own internal complaints procedure - the CAB can help you with this, but ask the bank for their leaflet on complaints, they have to give it to you. Now check your Mum's insurance policy ( contents ) and see if she has family legal protection as these people may also offer you advice. Once you have exhausted the banks own complaint procedure you can then take it further if you need to. Soemone has already said you need her bank statements and they should have these going back 7 years You also need to ask them what their lending policy is with regard to retired people and their income mulitpliers for lending If your Mum is in agreement you can also go to a solicitor and get Power of Attorney to enable you to act on your Mum's behalf. I hope that is of some help to you and my thoughts are with you Joanne

I dont normally disagree with Jess, but I can tell you that it is EXTREMELY easy to get an unsecured loan from your bank - Nat West in particular ask no questions. Interesting that they are paying back the loan and the credit card - is it theirs? And who gave them permission to administer your mother's financial affairs? Unless they have obtained an Administration Order, then what they are doing is illegal. CAB can easily put a stop to this DAYLIGHT ROBBERY. If for some unknown reason, the CAB cant help - and I can't imagine why not - then get on to the Banking Ombudsman. There are supposed to be strict guidelines for giving unsecured loans and if the Bank has not followed these, then they dont have a chance of getting any money out of your mother. The Ombusman will ask to see all the papers signed by your mother and will also require her bank statements to see where this money has gone. The Bank have to supply these, not you. I dont want to add to your burden, but, as your mother is now a bit forgetful, is it possible that someone has committed fraud in your Mother's name? Legally, you cannot be made to pay your mother's debts. And I think morally, your mother cannot be made to pay either - I doubt if any Court in the land would find against a confused elderly lady and it is quite possible that all her debts would be written off - serve the Bank right, in my opinion. OC

It would be worth finding out about an IVA. As far as I understand it all creditors have to agree to that a certain amount is paid back rather than the full amount so stops people having to become bankrupt. The CAB should be able to help with this. PLEASE do not find yourself so desperate that you go to a debt consolidation company as they are only there to make more money out of you. Good Luck and at least you can do something about it I bet she was worried to go to sleep every night.

Hi Old Crone Thanks for the input. My mother gave the bank the authority and yes the card and the loan are from the same bank. The loan was given from the same branch I believe and she knows she had it, just wont admit where the money had gone. Everyone who has replied many thanks. I am a slow typist and I must apologise for not answering each of you individually, but I have read all your replies and do appreciate your concern

Gillian We dont expect individual replies, so don't worry about that. I hope you soon find out where the money has gone - she hasnt got caught in these Competition scams, has she? Dont rush into Bankruptcy or an IVA either, until you find out where the money has gone. She may not need to pay it back. OC

Gillian, now you have had a glass and the shakes have gone, relaxe there is nothing you can do untill the morning, except have another glass, and digest what others have put on here, remember your a good daughter, you are doing every thing you can for your mother, I think I will join you in a glass, wouldn't want you to be drinking alone....lol Bev

Thanks Bev Am on my second Bacardi and coke. Has worked wonders. Cheers. Gill

Gill It isnt Lloyds TSB by any chance is it? There has been a lot of publicity recently with this bank lending to people who have no chance on earth to pay it back. There must be some kind of banking ombudsman. Margaret

Hi Margaret No not TSB. I have been banking with the same bank (different branch) for thirty years. Had to bully the Indian phone centre to get me an appointment at the bank as they only speak to the account holder or the account holder has to viit the branch. Made my point with him and he faxed the bank to get them to hone me for an appointment. I think they were relieved as things have got so far out of hand and they thought her health was suffering. Maybe the girls at the branch were worried about her. They phoned me within 10 mins of my conversaton the the call centre. Gill

Gillian I may have an idea of what she may be doing (Had a similar problem with a family member) If it's ok can I pm you ?? Also I suggest you take your Mum down to a solicitor's asap & get an Enduring Power of Attorney drawn up so that you can have full control of her finances. :0) Joan

Hi Joan Of course you can pm me. Tegards Gill

Thanks Joe I will visit the site tomorrow. regards Gill

Gillian I am slacking, I am a glass behind you, but I am working on catching up ....honest...lol There has been a lot of good sound advice on here, enough to keep you busy tomorrow, good luck, I hope you can get it sorted with out too much upset for both you and your mother. Bev

20 years ago, TSB absolutely ruined me. I was married and about 15 years previously, my husband had taken out a small business loan against the house (£1000) - I signed for this, as I was joint owner of the house. Fast forward 20 years, I walk out and leave him. My Bank Manager (who had been a guest in my home on many occasions) was not aware of this but I mentioned it in passing (LOL). I was then asked to 'pop into the Bank, to sign some papers'. When I saw them I almost died. They wanted me to sign for a debt of over £100,000 which was secured against the house. I refused to sign and demanded to know how this loan had been obtained without my knowledge. He excused himself from the room and five minutes later his Secretary told me he had been 'called away urgently'. Repeated phone calls and visits to the Bank brought the response that they could not discuss my husband's business account with me. I went to see a Solicitor who told me that, as I was not my husband's business partner, the Bank were under no obligation to disclose anything to me (it was a business loan). I demanded to see all the paperwork and some FIFTEEN MONTHS later, the Bank reluctantly sent my Solicitor copies of the agreements I had 'signed' over the years. The signatures were forged, either by my husband, or by the Bank Manager. My Solicitor didnt believe me at first, but had to agree that the signature looked nothing like mine. The Police didnt want to know and my Solicitor said that he would take it to Court if I wished, but he knew from experience that these cases often dragged on for seven years or more, and he would therefore want £10,000 up front, although he was sure I would win. I didnt have ten quid, let alone £10,000, so I left it there. Strangely, a few months later, a woman in a similar position to me won thousands in damages from the same Bank, and the law was changed to disallow business loans against homes unless both parties signed in front of a Solicitor. I dont trust Banks! OC

I have pm'd you Gillian. I do hope you can get it sorted, I know what a worry it can be. Please feel free to get in touch if you need to. All the best, Joan