General Chat

I will never be friendly with any of them ever again. This point is non-negotiable, no matter what any of them may say or do in the future. I won't ask any of them anything, as I no longer trust any of them, as in my book they are all as bad and sneaky as eachother. In fact, they probably deserve eachother, whereas we're too good for them. AL

Is there not one special neighbour who you could have a chat with and ask exactly what's going on. In turn you could explain your side of things and hope that the truth gets around to the others. I know they shouldn't take just one persons word for things and follow like sheep but your neighbour sounds like he has the knack for being a shepherd. (Yep, been there but luckily my neighbours didn't turn against us).

No, I'm sure it was before he knocked at the door re: the car. His party was the Saturday before that and we were excluded. All the neigbours must have know we were excluded, as we normally all have a whip 'round for a present and we weren't asked about it. Haven't got a clue what's been going on, but it's their problem now, as I know they're all feeling bad and, to be quite honest so they should. AL

Sorry to rant on again, but would anything have been said if we had not seen them all out on Saturday night? I doubt it. 'Nuf said. AL

OH said 'right that's it, I'm going over there and hit him!'. However, explained what I said and how I managed to make him look the idiot and did manage to get OH to promise not to do anything silly. We have agreed to ignore the neighbours and will continue to do so. What is the point in trying to talk to someone when obviously the neighbours have obviously all got together and tried and sentenced us before we even know what's going on. If they're like that we're far better off without them. AL

To be quite honest Vanda, after facing him out about it last night, I had the best nights sleep I've had since this saga began. I feel so much better now, although still bitter and twisted (but I guess some things never change!) . AL

Hi AL Been away for a while Just caught up with your postings sorry its still going on but at least you found out what the problem is dont let it get you down get on with your own life and dont spend to much time thinking about them as it will only upset you and they are not worth making yourself ill over. V a n d a

They've spoilt it for themselves though. I certainly shan't be doing any of them any favours in future. We will also make sure that we make their lives as uncomfortable as possible. I predict a few for sale signs going up! But it won't be us. AL

Lal It's on my 'update on my lovely neighbours' thread. AL

Heather & Liz I agree with both of you. Most people, even if I don't like them, I can endure and be polite with/to. However, I cannot stand hypocrites and liars. It seems most of my so-called 'friendly' neighbours either fall into one or both of these categories. I can have nothing more to do with them. Both OH and I have put a lot into our community and, like you, we have helped these 'friends' on a number of occasions. Well, that stops now. But, they will not hound us out of our home. It is them that are being made to feel uncomfortable. I must say, after our confrontation last night I felt so much better and had the best nights sleep since this all started. Hopefully, they didn't. I'm not upset now, I'm still furious though. They saw a side of me last night that they've never seen before. Guess I was always seen as an easy touch before, but no more! Honestly, the looks on their faces were priceless! AL

Heather I feel the same as you. I was very involved in my local community and on various committees to get things sorted out. I was always the one people came to in the street and I started a homewatch scheme and used to look after houses when others went on hols, feed pets water gardens and plants, close and open curtains etc. Then we had one woman who had a go at people if they parked in the carpark and she thought they shouldn't - she and her husband would put letters on the windscreen and threaten damage to the cars if they parked there again. One was labelled nhwc and the person concerned was sent to see me as neighbourhood watch coordinator. I explained that I hadn't put the note there and went to see this woman who denied it completely but her hubby made her look stupid by coming through and saying yes, it was me. I told him not to do it in my name and she went off on one, saying that was what neighbourhood watch was about, and if I didn't back them up, she would leave the scheme. I told her that was her choice but she couldn't claim reduced house insurance if she was not part of the scheme at which she started calling me as a single mum etc etc and got very irate. I did raise my voice and told her to leave if she felt that way. Later I had a neighbour whose house and cats I had just looked after, tell me I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting an old woman, she had called them and told them all sorts of lies and they had believed her. Since then, this second woman, someone my own age, an infant-school teacher, has been evil to me, and stirred up trouble getting a couple more new neighbours in her gang, and she started damaging my car, knocking the wing mirror when ever she passed my car in the street. She was finally seen to do it, (I had suspected her for ages) and was taken to court, but the crown prosecution misread my statement and dismissed the case, saying not enough evidence. She has been warned by the Police that if I ever suffer harrassment again, she will be the first person they call on cos they knew it was her, but it made life very unpleasant living there, and I have been staying at o.h.'s house for a couple of years now. Will get back to my house eventually and then we will see who is most popular. Sadly lots of the original people in the street have moved on or died, but I do still have friends there and will make sure I enjoy my home again. The original complainer moved away a few years ago, and has since died of old age related illness, I couldn't feel sorry for her as she was a malicious old woman who had already caused upset for others in the street before I moved there. Hope I will get back and get lots of nice new neighbours, if not will sell up and move. Liz

I have to say, you do realise - and its a shock - how little people really care dont you. I thought my neighbours really liked us - Ive done so much for the community - they are always whinging but never doing anything about problems like getting dog poo bins, or stopping the developer over the road excavate a 1000 year old hedge. It was always me they whinged to and off Id go and sort it. Never ever again. Not one have them have stood next to us when we have had all this c*** with the lot who have bought the next house to us. I have certainly realised just how shallow most people are. Hubby keeps saying to me, you expect people to be like you and they arent - realise it. Well, I have now.

Hi Heather - the way they all ignored us Saturday night and looked embarassed, I'd rather never talk to any of them again. I just want to know either what we've done or what one of them says we've done! I really couldn't speak to any of them at the moment. We've obviously been the subject of a discussions at some stage (sad g*ts if they've got nothing else to talk about!) and I guess this has just made me realise how two-faced they all must be. In total we spoke to three of them on Saturday and no-one said a word about Sat evening, so they all obviously knew we were being excluded. AL

Oh dear, bad enough having one lot, but a whole street full??? Id have to ask one of them whats going on. I couldnt bear not asking. You have nothing to lose, have you.

Hiya No doubt someone has been raking up the muck, but have no idea who, over what or why! To my mind they have all been talking about us behind our backs and obviously excluding us. One of the guys was having a kick about with OH on Saturday afternoon. If he hadn't know we'd been excluded he would have said something about Saturday evening, even if it was a 'see you later' or something. I am just livid with our 'friends'!! AL

Whoops my reply crossed with yours!

Is it possible to ask another of the neighbours if they know of any problem.It will only escalate if you cant nip it in the bud. Maybe someone has been doing some Muck raking gossip which has got distorted. You will never know unless you can nail it . Good Luck .I know what it like cos we have peculiar next door neighbour who looks at us as If we are dirt on her shoe cos of some work we had done on the house several years ago. I Always say Hello pleasantly to her if we are in the garden at the same time. She replies very grudgingly.

It would be lovely if a few of the neighbours moved now. I'm really cheesed off with them and their blase behaviour. Ignoring us Saturday and then talking to us on Sunday as if nothing had happened! Well, they know what they can do. It will be a long time until I speak to any of them again on friendly terms (if ever). If they need any favours or to borrow anything they needn't bother knocking at our door. In the end they lose. I'll still enjoy my home and I won't be moving anywhere. I think we can rise above this (although no doubt it will get us down from time to time) and make the situation more uncomfortable for them than they will for us. AL

No advice, and no clue from what you have said AL, how miserable to have to live in such an atmosphere........obviously someone has got some axe to grind.......the trouble is that people can say anything about you, and unless you are told you cannot put the matter right........it is all very strange, and I feel so sorry for you......

I'll try today! What do you think? Any advice? AL