General Chat

And explain the whole situation to your GP as soon as possible - and don't hold back!

I don’t often post on here but wanted to say how sorry I am to read of your plight Joan. Of course, hubby wants to come home and I’m very sure that you want him to be with you but it doesn’t sound very practical. You have said you are not good at speaking up for yourself and clearly feel bullied but I’ve noticed you write fluently on here. Could you put your feelings down in writing in the form of a letter with copies to both the care people and your GP? I would be very polite, no point in getting their backs up. Explain that your concern is for the safety and wellbeing of your husband but your own circumstances (age, medical needs etc) mean you are not sure that you can guarantee this. Ask who will be with hubby when you have to leave the house. There will be times you need to visit the doctor or dentist or do some shopping. If the only option is for him to come home, will there be regular respite care for you to have a break?

I don’t know if the idea of writing it all down is helpful or not but it’s something for you to consider. Try and see your GP as well. If he says you won’t be able to cope it will probably carry more weight than anything you say.

Forgot to say Joan, what do your other children think of the situation, not just the one that lives nearest?

Thats what we are all here for to support anyone that needs it <3

I’ve just looked up the Stedy. You’re right, it does take up room. Don’t know how they could use that to get hubby to the commode in the space you suggest. Clear floor space is needed to make the required turns.

Any carer using it would need the correct training. Not all carers have had the training to use this sort of equipment or kept their certificates up to date.

Joan you would need a lot of spare bedding as a daily change is on the cards as hubby can’t get himself to the commode when he needs to. Not everyone can perform to order ;-)

Joan you are in an awful situation and what a pity your daughter is unable to see that. Of course hubby wants to be home but he is forgetting how hard it would be to accommodate everything. And the hospital is encouraging him as they need beds. I had similar problems when T was in hospital but fortunately he was moved to a hospital that realised it was not possible. Vera’s suggestion is good, writing an explanatory letter you can think of the facts more clearly.
Feel free to come on here and rant. We understand and sympathise. <3

Afternoon all.
Big change in the weather here as its warmer at 6 degrees, raining and windy...back to the norm! Although snow is forecast next week for us.

Daughter is on her way home with a few things and goodness knows what she has been buying?Not sure what is for tea but shes bringing something yummy I hope.

No post, no phone calls from dad so very quiet here. Got the boiler gas safety cert yesterday so thats now gone to sol. Searches all done etc so just the local authorities to complete their things and thats it. So glad its all going smoothly!

Have been working away on a family tree and really got a lot done today...no distractions.

Hope everyone else is well and keeping warm.

Florence in the hebrides

Hello all,

It's good that things are progressing on the flat sale front for you I hope it all continues to go smoothly .

Joan , I hope you are feeling ok today, I can't add anything really as others here have given some good advice re you speaking to your GP. I agree with writing down how you feel and any questions you may have, I do this if I am going to the hospital or GPs either for myself or OH. Although OH doesn't have dementia he has had short term memory loss for a long time now so I go to appointments with him.
Your needs are as important as your OH and if you can't look after him safely then you have a right to say so as you will be the only with him for the majority of the day and all night. I hope your daughter understands how hard this is for you. My best wishes go to you and your OH.

To everyone looking in have a good weekend and stay warm.

Ginnie.

Good morning 0 degrees out there and low cloud, no frost. forecast is for it getting colder.
Being picked up at 1045 to go to the local community centre for the meeting of people interested in a new U3a group MOTO (Members on their own). To discuss ideas for meeting for coffee and chat on Saturdays. the worst days if you are on your own are the weekends. Even if you go out everyone seems to be with somebody.
glad the boiler is certified now Florence. Hope it can all progress now. Hope daughter brought something tasty for tea.

Good morning, from a very frosty Yorkshire.
It is the monthly community litter pick today, but we will have to miss it. It is OH’s birthday on Wednesday, so we are going out for a pub lunch today with my daughter and the girls. I have hardly been out since New Year, because of the horrible flu type bug, so it will make a nice change. I will take cough lozenges and a bottle of water in case I have a coughing fit.

I hope everyone looking in is OK, especially Joan.

good morning all, fairly bright out there but still only 3 degrees. I went back to sleep and woke at 9am so it is a good job I have nothing planned for today.

Linda enjoy your meal out, hope all are well and able to go and that your cough doesn't start. good idea to take a bottle of water with you.

Joan, thinking of you and hubby, hope you can reach an agreeable solution to things soon.
Florence Sounds as if things will soon be wrapped up with the flat. I am sure that will be a lot off your mind then.

JG short term memory loss can be frustrating both for the person and their partner. Daughter's OH is 70 next month, his short term memory is already really bad. The number of times he asks where to find things in my house, even after being away for a couple of weeks, is really frustrating. However it really doesn't seem to bother him and sometimes he asks where something is before he has even tried to locate it. and That is frustrating. (not to him). :-) :-)

Afternoon everyone.

Cold day here with sleety showers, def think the snow is coming later brrrr.Its also very windy and no ferries maybe until Tuesday!! That's the day my Tesco order is coming....hopefully.

My Amaryllis has fully bloomed and is a lovely shade of red, absolutely beautiful. The other plant pot with the 3 bulbs in my friend brought me after xmas has also bloomed and there are many little white flowers like mini dafs. I still have a carnation outside in bloom and leaves on 2 roses plants....bonkers.

Started writing up friends family tree yesterday and have made good progress. Really want to finish it by mid week and get it posted to her.

Linda, hope your sale will go as smoothly as is ours so far and happy packing!

Joan, glad you got outside into your garden. That's your happy place :-D Amazing isn't how the spring bulbs are already peeping through. I just love it when the garden springs back to life with colour after the winter although we are still in January and Winter!

Right heavy shower now and turning to snow so going to sign off and make a cuppa whilst i still can.

AG Annin Gloucs, JG and everyone else. stay warm and cosy

Florence in the hebrides

Just popped back on as the snow has stopped, electric is still on yay!!

Joan, sounds like your hubby may have a UTI as that can cause a temp and also make people disorientated and confused. Sadly if a catheter is being used, its very common for patients to get a Urine infection. Hopefully they will do some tests and get him on correct neds to clear it. Hope he does feel better soon.

But one thing is for sure, until he is stable, he won't be getting discharged anytime soon. He is in the right place for now and being looked after.

Yes I hope I will get my delivery too as my freezer and fridge are running down fast. We have been using up and now its very depleted although i have a good supply of rice, pasta and a few sauces. Just have no chicken breasts left and i dont eat any other meat!

Still I have plenty of cheese and a cauliflower and a few carrots so can make a veggie bake. Daughter forgot to bring home pizzas on Friday grrrr. We moan but we wont starve.

Heating going on now so we shall be toasty later when watching the tv. Call the midwife on tonight, that's one of my fav programmes.

I'm off to read my new book. Its by Richard Osman. The Thursday Murder Club. Its set in the south of England around Robertsbridge, an area I knew well.

Take care all

Florence in the hebrides

I am really sorry that your husband is so ill Joan, hopefully they can treat it and get him stable again.

We went out for Sunday lunch to a very nice pub, but unfortunately it was dog friendly. I understand why they do it, as they need to get in every penny they can these days. Everything was fine at first, Esme was having a lovely time, but then a family came in with a dog and instead of putting it under the table, they let it sit in the aisle. To be fair, it was very docile and not causing any problems, but Esme is absolutely terrified of dogs. We had been there about twenty five minutes and our food was just about to come out, but we had to move, especially as a second dog came into the room. Poor Esme instantly had a tummy ache, head ache and was whinging to go home. The only other table which was big enough for the five of us was an isolated one near the door. So as people were coming in and out we were blasted with cold air. We managed to eat our meal, but she was just desperate to leave, so we went straight back without desert and had the Peppa Pig birthday cake she had chosen for grandad.

The last time we went out for Sunday lunch, we had the same problem with dogs, so I think in future we are going to have to stick with places which don’t allow dogs in, or at least have a non dog friendly room.

Well, is everyone warm enough? It is freezing here but we don’t have any snow yet unlike Scotland.
Keep safe everyone

Afternoon all

Yes we have snow and the roads look awful. So much so that Tesco cancelled all the deliveries grrrrrr so no food tomorrow. No ferries anyway as the sea is rough.

When a shower comes, the wind blows the snow all over the place and round and round :-S It is really cold and have the heating on already. When Im sitting at the PC Joan like you, i have a wool shawl over me legs to keep warm.

So daughter may try and get to town on the bus tomorrow and see what she can buy in either supermarket and then get back asap. Its also bin day tomorrow eeeek!

The sun is out here too but it hasn't melted anything and very soon when the sun goes down, the road will be a skating rink. Some of the buses to other villages further south had to be cancelled this morning as the roads were terrible.

I put a shower cap over the vent in the kitchen and that has stopped the draught of the wind coming down so does feel a bit warmer in the kitchen now.

So no post or any other deliveries. All in all a day to stay indoors and keep warm.

Stay safe all and be cosy

Florence in the hebrides

Joan, I was thinking of you when I saw the forecast. Try and keep a record of the snow fall and list any vehicles that can’t get through. Having proof of the difficulties should help.

Poor Florence, where you planning on a NewYear diet ;-)

I thought that you would have snow, Joan and Florence. It is a pity about your groceries Florence, hopefully your daughter will be able to pick up some fresh food, but it sounds like you have a good stockpile so you won’t starve.

I have had quite a busy day so far. I went to Slimming World this morning and had put a pound on :-(
I then went to Aldi and Tesco’s. I have just been sending OH with a little shopping list while I was ill, so I had a bit of catching up to do. This afternoon I cleaned the bathrooms and did the dusting.
Now I am sitting down starting to look at kitchen catalogues and blind catalogues again. I am going round in circles, there are so many choices and they all look the same to me .

Names....diet??? Well we wont starve but i have no goodies lol. I do have some jars and tins but have run out of frozen chicken breasts. If I have a large pack, I can make umpteen dishes. I have some haddock and smoked haddock fillets and quite a few potatoes plus peas, carrots etc. But I have no yoghurts or salad cream!

Yes Joan , make a list of anyone who can't get up to your house in bad weather. Oil delivery, postie, your daughter etc.All important people as well as a GP or ambulance!!

The power hasn't gone off anywhere around here today but i saw, Shetland and Orkney had some outages.

Joan make sure you have your torch handy so no more falls in the dark!

Off to make a cuppa now

Florence in the hebrides

Well, it isn’t getting any warmer :-(. It must be cold because OH has decided not to go out for his usual walk. We don’t have any snow, it would probably feel warmer if we did.