General Chat

My x hubby died last year he arranged his whole funneral even down to who would carry his coffin and what they would wear!

Totally brilliant until his nasty daughter get her Auntie involved and the auntie told us what was ment to have happened ............Nasty nasty people getting involved are the worst of all

We did as my x wanted and didnt listen to the Auntie but to this day she and the daughter say we should have listened to them coz now ...the daughters two brothers didnt get to carry the coffin!!!!!! to our knowledge my x hubby HATED them and he wasnt the sort to HATE people !!!

R I P my x hubby we did it your way ....end of

His heavy rock music no hyms no god and a good party for him after ...

Arrange it and make sure the people you trust carry it out END OF

OOh Dizzi that has reminded me.

(This cemetery was opened about 1990)

The plot directly behind my parents in law....
The ground has never been disturbed and about 2yrs ago, a headstone was erected.

Name: *** * ****** ( Full name inscribed)
Born DD/MM/YY
Died:

We think the man has made all the arrangements ...but is still living!

I hope all of us who have had to arrange a funeral for a loved one have tried very hard to do what we think or know the deceased would have wanted, it is the last thing we can do for them.

If a living person plans the funeral they want, then it is up to the loved ones to go along with their wishes................no matter how hard it might seem at the time.

I would like to know, who is expected to pay for a funeral if not a married couple?

I am still legally married and have enough to pay for my own funeral...but HID who is not my partner (we just share a house) has no money Just a car worth a couple of thousand a computer and a bed the rest is mine....would I be expected to pay if he went first or could his kids get the bill even though he doesn't have much to do with them?

I don't want to bring that up in conversation as it makes me sound mean :-D

his kids would pay unless on benefits

sally w <3

In answer to Jax,,
I'm presuming you don't have a joint bank a/c., so I feel sure the money would come out of his estate. If all he owns is a car, then that would have to be sold to make up his estate.
When a person dies their bank account is frozen until their will/probate is sorted, meanwhile the only outgoing payment the bank will honour is a funeral director's bill.

No we do not have a joint bank account, we are not a couple....we both had rooms in a shared house and we both had trouble with our landlord so we got a house between us....My parents know we are not a couple, but not sure what his family think?
I have no idea how much money he has, if anything and he has not made a will

I agree with Sharron. My husband wanted to be transported across the sea. No way did he get that wish. It was very important and still is for my daughter to have a place to go locally to remember and grieve for her father. He doesn't know - well I think he doesn't. The arrangements should be left to the bereaved.

I'm approaching 70 now and really must put my affairs in order. There is a will but out of date and the paperwork is all over the place.

Vera

We have an organisation here called First Memorial Society.

It costs $10 to join. You fill out a form with what you wish to happen after your death ........... funeral or not, where, what kind of "container", where to put body or ashes, form of service if any, music, etc etc.

OH and I joined about 10 years ago ......................... sent in the forms, kept a copy for ourselves. They keep the forms permanently (we hope!). When one dies, a member of the family phones them, are sent the forms, and know exactly what to do.


We both have said cremation. My form says that I would prefer not to have a church service, but would agree if the survivors wish to have one, in which case "they are to use the following hymns".


A form of memorial service is very common over here .................. often called a Celebration of Life, or a Toast to the Life.

It's commonly held anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months after the death.

The coffin or urn of ashes may or may not be present

Always present will be at least one photograph and mementoes of the dead person.

Sometimes there will be semi-official speakers, sometimes people can just go to a microphone and tell their story about him/her.

There's food and beverages (alcoholic or not) either during or after.


It really becomes a very nice way to celebrate the life of someone.


That's what I would like.




But can anyone tell me why we eulogize and praise someone, say how much we liked them, after they are dead ................. but never do it to their face while they are alive????? :-S

I wonder how many of you realize that a body left for "research" or "medical science" is actually used only for dissection by medical students?


That is the reason for the body being refused after a postmortem has been done, because the integrity of the body is no longer there ................ indeed parts of the body and/or tissues may no longer be there, but have been removed for "further tests".