General Chat

Thanks for that Mildred.

I'm sat here just shaking my head.

Where on earth is these parents pride or self respect.??? :-0 :-0

Poor kids. :-(

It's hard to believe and when I read it earlier my jaw just dropped . I also watched the Protecting our Children programmes and was stunned at what I saw.
I remember when my daughter started playschool 25 years ago they all had to be out of nappies.

I have just read the srticle and find it so sad that the children are missing out on so much. One didn't know how to hold a paintbrush, imagine what he has missed by not painting with his parents. Apparently some parents barely talk to their children, no wonder they can't hold a conversation. Some are falling asleep because of being up too late. And one little girl who still drinks her 'fizz' from a baby's bottle (she is five) has all her teeth so rotten she can't speak properly. Poor little soul, she must suffer with that. Apparently it has taken ages and pressure from social workers to get her Mother to make a dental appointment. The no potty training is a minor detail compared with some of the problems. But what sort of teenagers, adults are these babies going to make? what about their children, 15, 20 years down the line the problem will get worse if nothing is done now.

Imo the little girl with bad teeth is being neglected. Surely some pressure to look after her should be brought on the parents?

I was going to mention, when my two started school, it was a pre-requisite that they be able to use the toilet on their own. In fact, I believe it was the same for their playgroup once they progressed from Mother & Toddler group.

So how are these parents getting away with not meeting those pre-requisites?

As for the state of children's teeth, I have a theory on that one. Many parents have to be both out to work these days, and therefore are not there to control what they eat etc...and also probably give in to the child's screaming 'I want I want' far too easily through guilt maybe? Trying to compensate?

This probably accounts for the lack of toilet training too, parents simply aren't there to do it, and it's not in a childminder's remit to potty train children, any more than it is a teacher's or playgroup leader's remit.

Dont' get me wrong,I'm not slating working mums, not at all, I know many have to work out of necessity, they have mortgages to pay etc etc and the cost of living is so much higher, as are expectations, than when I was bringing up toddlers.

its shocking the number of parents who tell you they ARE toilet trained and send them in pant, when its blatently obvious they wernt, :-| been there cleaned it often

:-(

I did read, with those in nappies, that progress in disposable nappies contributes to the problem. With old disposables and with terry nappies when the child was wet or soiled it was uncomfortable. Now if they are wet they don't feel it because of the 'stay'dry' nappies.

As for parents sendin children to school in pants when they are not trained., I suppose they don't stop to consider the embarrassment of that child and the damage it does to their self confidence. I know when my little granddaughter started school and had a couple of accidents (and she was trained) she was very upset about it and started not wanting to go to school.

Even the toys advertised on tele are designed so the children amuse themselves, teach themselves, they seem to deliberately exclude adult participation. Hope i'm wrong though.

It may not be the case in the instance stated in the article...but what I can say about dentists ...with personal experience...is that our local dentist cancelled all appointments...even childrens check ups until the new tax year in April.

Both of them were supposed to be seen in January.....I got cross and have booked them as emergencies....naughty I know but I don't see why their teeth should have to suffer when early prevention is important...not to mention the fact that it sends out a rubbish message to them if they aren't getting regular checks....my own check up I'm happy to wait for.

Mind you..if you feed a child fizzy drinks out of a baby's bottle I'm not sure what you expect to happen fgs *rolls eyes* x

Is that a NHS dentist Muffy? If so is there any sort of patient appeals committee. Are they allowed to just cancel all check ups? Never heard of that before. that is 3 months, say one of their patients has a suspicious lesion in their mouth and mouth cancer could have been alleviated (I know that is an extreme example but it could happen.)

Yep NHS dentist Ann. They phoned me two days before the appointment was due and told me.

They said i could make emergency appointments for the children or for myself if we had *concerns* or *pain*but all pre booked check ups were cancelled til April....

tbh I have meant to kick up a stink about it...and had they refused the *emergency* appointment I probably would've done x

Not sure why, is it something to do with the financing? I am not sure they are allowed to do it but you are on a hiding to nothing as they could refuse to have you on their books if you kick up.

Well I'm guessing it would be as they were waiting for the new tax year? They were quite cagey when they phoned....but that was certainly the impression I got.

They may well kick us out once they realise the appointment isn't really an emergency ...however that's when I will kick up right back ....so we'll see ...I really don't know how these things work but cancelling childrens check ups seems like a false economy to me x

They maybe get so much per financial year to pay for check ups, or to take the payment for check ups to the full amount they say they cost. Ours cost £39 but our dentist is part NHS part private. It sounds as if they have used up their allowance.

I don't doubt that youa re not a bit bothered about having yours cancelled :-D

I asked a friend of mine about this as she is a school business manager and her answer was that 'Oh yes, it is happening more and more!!' I was quite shocked too, as apart from the odd accident I don't remember any 5 year olds in nappies when I was at school. Is it because both parents are at work all day? Don't nurseries attempt to potty train? :-S

My daughter returns to work after maternity leave 4 weeks tomorrow and I will be main carer for my granddaughter, who is nearly 9 months old (aren't I lucky!!).

Part of my responsibilities will be, in her parents absence, to teach social skills.

I already count the beakers as I stack them up for her to knock down or say the colours to her, and I can't wait till we are ready for colouring!
I will also eat at the table with her when she is on more 'grown up' food and I daresay she will follow me to the bathroom!!

As has been said, maybe time for this is what today's mums don't have, but these things are best learnt as part of day-to-day life from an early age.

If paid carers are taking in children under the age of 3 surely they should expect to undertake the teaching /supervision of these skills.

I am blessed that I am able to take such an important role in my first grandchilds life...........it helps that I am old enough to be retired as many grandparents also need to work!!

PS Don't I waffle lol :-D ;-)

You would be suprised at the lack of co'educating a child within a family home,,,from social skills to lack of comunication, and what appears to be the norm in thier little heads,......its an easy nut to crack though from these bad skills that have been taught at home.

Its all due to a lack of total interest by the parent/s.


our litle man is night dry for the past 5 months,,,,age 3.,,,,day dry for over a year.

Your granddaughter is very lucky Lyndi - you sound like a lovely grandmama :-)

my hubbys cousin in austrailia
breast fed her two kids till they were over 5

now thats child abuse in my book BORK

At Junior school in the 1990s children were encouraged to have school dinners to learn social eating, we had already taught our son to set the table and to eat at the table, after a week or so of school dinners he had picked up the bad table manners and we had to stop using a table cloth til he was good again (stopped spilling his food and drink).
Before he started senior school we were told to get him used to wearing shoes because trainers were not allowed, he had always worn shoes for school and from the age of 5 could tie shoe laces.
So my opinion is a lot of teaching should come from parents, not the teachers.

I taught all mine to write their names before they started school and also tie shoe laces about 5/6 they were it was easy with my boys as I am right handed and they are left so their foot on my knee when they was sat in front in me no problem, but with the my daughter as she too was right handed it was harder.