General Chat

My mil didn't make a will, lived in a council house and had no monetary assets, Stepfather didn't either.
MIL was widowed when my hubby the youngest of the 2 boys was 11ths old. She remarried and her second husband died before she did.
When stepfather died his grandchildren caused a fuss on the day of the funeral about who was going in the ' family cars' ... it had already been arranged with their mother the day before.They always say things flare up at weddings and funerals !!!
Hubby and his brother had already decided that their mam would have a grave of her own.They had to make that decision as there was no will showing her required 'choice' .Neither marriages were a bed of roses.
I 'found' the 'Rights of burial' certificate for their dad, so we had a headstone put on that, and whilst stepfather's dau was going to share the payment for his headstone, we had little contact after the funeral, except for her to say the wreaths on the grave were a mess, and that she had taken the written tributes from them .
Hubby and his bro paid for the headstone. I've no prob with that ,he was a wonderful grandfather to my children.. more than his own who he hardly saw.
Yes it is important to make a will whatever your circumstances.

Remember too, just thought of this, specify if you wish to be buried or cremated and where! You do not own your body when you die - your n.o.k. do and unless specified can do what they want. I have also left written instructions to executors re funeral service and music etc. Daughter will have a fit!!!!

The programme is just starting on BBC2.

Thankyou so much Elisabeth, I'd forgotten! back later

xx

Another very interesting senario. Some difficult decisions there, and sadly some that contiunue divisions in the family. Never an easy path, trying to be fair to all.

We've sorted out what would happen to the children...ie...my parents or if they're not able to one of my best friends..who of course we've consulted about it and whose husband is au fait with it too. obviously whoever had care of the children would have the proceeds of the sale of the house etc so they could put our wishes into action ...

We haven't actually put it in writing though.....so I reckon it's about time we did.x

Muffy,

Time to do it now. Don't wait - none of us know what is around the corner.

If you have simple, mirror wills it is not too expensive.

Elisabeth x

Hello Rose and all, we made our wills years ago and
when we retired we paid for our funerals, sorted it all
out so our children and which ever one is left has very
little to do.

Emmax

I know it's not a cheery subject but it did remind me so will put it here in case it helps anyone, that whilst my life insurance was adequate in my previous circumstances ( to pay off the mortgage for eg) now I have moved I should look at it again.

Rose thankyou for putting this thread up.
Some of you will know my brother is dying so when l read this thread l wondered if he had made a will as he owns his own house and has many other things that would need sorting, so l've just this minute phone his wife and asked her and she said he hasn't , l know my brother is a very private person even with his wife and she said that he won't really talk about anything and she doesn't know about any of the bills or insurance policys as he has always done it...............big problems ahead if they donot talk and she did say he would be wondering what she was talking about to me on the phone l told her it was a good opportunity to say what l had said and hopefully he will start talking about it, l even said to her that a solicitor would come to the house as he couldn't walk now and they do have a young family also to consider, fingers crossed.
Once again thanks Rose and. everyone else that have told their stories

Awww Mummo, so very difficult for you all but yes, it may be the time to talk about it for your brother and sister in law, may save her worry when she will least be able to cope with more, and put your brother's mind at rest that his family will be looked after as he would wish.

Even discussing it may help, just knowing your brother's wishes, and the location of paperwork for insurance etc, there is a lot to sort out always and takes a long time sometimes, even with a will in place.

very best wishes to you and family,
Rose xx

Mummo I feel for you and your family and I agree this is a good thread,
even to talk things over. My OH was the same as your brother didn't want
to speak about it so was left to me to say I was wanting it all seen to. Once
he got his head round the idea it wasn't so bad and now says it was the right thing to do. I hope your brother can talk to his wife or yourself about
this.

Emmax

Chris, How very true,its amazing how many come out of the woodwork to try and claim things, sometimes not even related,I,ve seen it so many times,even on the same day as the Funeral .**M**.

Thanks Rose and Emmax, sister-in-law just phone me back and said she told him what l said and he replied that it was all going to her so no need to make one, subject closed, l told her not to worry at least it had been mentioned and maybe he will think about it and then talk to her again soon.

Unusual in this day and age Mummo isn't it that your brother is so anti making a will. I wonder if he realises that if his estate is over a certain amount (and I can't remember how much, you need to google intestate) it would not all automatically go to his wife. She would only get so much, then the rest would be divided as per the law.

I wonder why people refuse to make wills, my mother was the same, would not even discuss it.

f there are surviving children, grandchildren or great grandchildren of the person who died and the estate is valued at more than £250,000, the partner will inherit:

* all the personal property and belongings of the person who has died, and
* the first £250,000 of the estate, and
* a life interest in half of the remaining estate. This means that if you are entitled to the life interest, you cannot get rid of or spend that part of the estate. You can, however, have the benefit of it during your lifetime.


Couples may jointly own their home. There are two different ways of jointly owning a home. These are beneficial joint tenancies and tenancies in common.

If the partners were beneficial joint tenants at the time of the death, when the first partner dies, the surviving partner will automatically inherit the other partner's share of the property. However, if the partners are tenants in common, the surviving partner does not automatically inherit the other person's share.


Couples may also have joint bank or building society accounts. If one dies, the other partner will automatically inherit the whole of the money.

Property and money that the surviving partner inherits does not count as part of the estate of the person who has died when it is being valued for the intestacy rules.
(Example box starts)

Example: Tom and Heather were married and held their flat jointly as beneficial joint tenants. They had a child called Selma. Tom dies intestate leaving the flat worth £300,000 and £50,000 in shares in his own name. The flat goes automatically to Heather. This leaves an estate of £50,000 which also all goes to Heather, as it is worth less than £250,000. Selma inherits nothing.

If Tom had owned the flat in his own name, his estate would be worth £350,000. It would be shared out according to the rules of intestacy, that is, Selma would inherit half of the estate.

Thanks ann.

I have to agree with Greenfingers. I have just had a new will drafted and will be signing it early next week.

For many years me and my husband had reciprocal wills in place. We split up some time ago and he is living with someone who has her own children. So I have been thinking about changing my will for a while - but then thinking that he would be looking after the children if anything happened to me, so maybe I didn't need to change anything after all. Certain recent events have made me realise that I needed get on with it if I wanted to ensure that my children, and only them would, benefit from my will.

It is just as well I decided to do that because in the course of looking through the paperwork I discovered that we had also signed Enduring Powers of Attorney. I had forgotten we had done that and it definitely needs to be undone!

I have even managing to get my Dad to sort out having a will drawn up. I think it feels good to know that everything is properly taken care of.

Tina x

I'm in the process of updating mine at the moment, to be signed next week. Mine's not straighforward, as hubby and I don't have children together, but there are stepchildren.
Nothing much has changed as far as MY wishes are concerned, but what people often fail to realise is that once in a while the laws change - and for that reason, if you made your Will donkey's years ago, you should really get it updated.
Due to some recent law changes, my solicitor has suggested taking out one clause in my Will and modifiyng a couple of others, so as to protect those who inherit my property/money from unecessary taxation etc.
Sure, I could easily say 'well it doesn't matter, it won't affect me' but I'd far rather my beneficiaries got the full whack rather than a big portion going direct into the State's pocket just because I didn't bother getting it updated!

I know lots of people find the whole idea of making a Will, or giving thought to the funeral they want, a morbid subject. Personally i think it's far more morbid, not to mention difficult, whilst grieving, to sort out someone's estate when they didn't leave a Will - it can drag on and on forever. Even when there IS a Will it's not all cut and dried in a week or two!

For those who don't make a Will, please consider that you're leaving your loved ones with a pain in the neck to deal with after you've popped off.
It's all very well saying there's no need to make a Will because auntie Doris knows what you want done. If you don't leave a Will, it doesn't matter a hoot what auntie Doris knows, she won't (necessarily or legally) have a leg to stand on because everything will have to be done according to the letter of the law.

Happy Will writing...

K

Ann in Glos
You would be surprised.!!! Not at all unusual for people not to make their will these days. My OH 's M other had to be cajoled into making out her will and of course, we were the baddies for even suggesting it. Whilst edler brother sat on his laurels smugly being mummys favourite little boy for not saying a d mn thing . If we hadn't have kept on at her to do so, we would have had major communications problems. They havent spoken for a year, sadly.
Also I had to politely suggest making a will to an auntie and uncle. They were more helpful.!!