General Chat

Thank you Julie and Havoc,

Most of the time I cope quite well, but yesterday, was well.....you know. I'm hoping that now that I have another couple of angels up in Heaven, they will get a "working bee" or something going for me!

Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes.

Alison

Oh Alison

& I have had a bit of a cry reading this. I am no good with words but would like to send to you a big
((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))

Much Luv Julie xx

Seeing as I can be "anonymous", I thought I might vent a little, with the idea that writing it down will prove "cleansing" for me and I hope anyone reading this doesn't mind me posting this.

Yesterday was my 12 year old son's first visit to a Psychologist. He is intellectually impaired with quite a few autistic tendencies. His 2 remaining grandparents died in March. The death of my father was unexpected and a great shock. His Nana had been ill for some time and so we had prepared him for the inevitable as much as we could. My boy keeps wondering if his Grand-dad got out of the car he crashed in and he's worrying that his Grand-dad is wandering around trying to find his way home.

The words that were so hard to hear, was when the Psychologist asked him if he worried about his Mum (me). I have breast cancer which has metastasised in my liver and spine. I've had 2 bouts of chemo in the last 2 years. My boy said that he was worried about me. Psychologist asked "How worried?" Son said "Very worried." Pyschologist said "Why are you worried?" He replied "I'm worried that Mum will pass away." Those words truly broke my heart. I didn't know how much he understood about my illness. I sent him to the Psychologist because I need to get him as"good" as he can be, a functioning member of society. His father is nearing 60 (big age difference between us) and I'm just so worried about my little lad. I have told my 18 year old son that he needs to "be there" for his brother when we are gone. I just keep hoping that God will be kind and will let me keep going until after my "baby" is an adult and will keep my husband going for many many years to come.

I feel a bit melodramatic - it's like a bad episode of "Days of our Lives" or something. I've had a bit of a cry whilst typing this, so hopefully I'll feel a bit better now.

Sorry for the rambling on.
Alison