General Chat

I have just sat here and had a good cry.
My 11 year old son started secondry school in September. All throughout Junior school he has been a popular boy with tons of friends.

He had some trouble last week in school where some one knocked him to the ground, he bumped his head after falling in the gravel and it made him cry. Because he cried everyone was singing "dry your eyes mate". I picked him up from school today as I had to get my younger son as well and he told me a gang of 6 boys in year 11 (ages 14 to 15) had grabbed him and squeezed his nipples until he cried. A lady approached me and asked if I was Callums mum. Turns out she was a teacher and asked me if I knew about the bullying and that she would not tolerate it and that she had reported it etc. Turns out its been going on for weeks and he hasn't told me as he is scared I will go to the school. On one occassion 4 year 11 boys picked him up and carried him half way to their houses! I have just looked at his chest and I can't believe the bruises. Its making me cry but I dont want him to see me crying.

What should I do. I want to go up there and rip their faces off but that brings me to their level. How can I send him back to school knowing this is happening. Lucky he has tomorrow off and I have parents eve tomorrow night

Please if anyone has dealt with bullying I really need advice

Marcelle

Sorry Marcelle I can't offer any advice cos my three didn't suffer.

I can appreciate how much it upsets you though, we are all the same when one of our children have been physically or emotionally hurt.

I am sure somebody with good advice will help you soon.

Good luck

Sue x

Thanks Sue

I can't understand the mentality of these bullies. I can't believe my son hasn't told me. I have always told him he can talk to me about anything

If some one had bruised me in the street the way he has been bruised they would be had up for assault
x

Oh how I feel for you - my son was bullied all through his school years and I could get no one to take any notice of me - it was a miserable time and we were all so happy when he left school. We took him away the last year and sent him to a private school for all our sakes. I do hope this teacher sorts it for you.

Honestly Ann
Children of 14 and 15 are nearly ready to leave school and get jobs. Picking on an eleven year old for goodness sake. I feel sick to my stomach
I have such mixed emotions of sadness, hurt and anger. I hope the school is going to sort it asap. The thing is when they get to senior school you dont get the parent/teacher contact as much as junior school.
I will let you know what happens
x

Thanks Pammy...

Oh Marcelle, how my heart bleeds for you.

What a load of little sh,,s these kids are.

Poor little mite, lots of love to him.

Our youngest daughter was bullied terribly in the first yr of secondry school,,,,it broke my heart ..
it was one of her friends that told us...
luckily,(if thats the right word).. the school my daughters attend do take bullying very seriously . they tackled the problem with compasion ..
i did go round to 2 of the girls homes an spoke with their parents .. too say i was angry is an understatement!!
she is in the 3rd yr now (yr 10) an is very happy at school..
i hope you get yr son gets the support from school that he deserves..xxxx

Marcelle i would speak to the form tutor and head of his year or do they have learning mentors or pastral care workers. This is what we did when our son(yr 7) was threatened with a knife in his secondary school (also to spoke to head with this incident) and also when our other son(also yr7) was chased from school by agang and he hid for over 1/2 hour from them about 10 mins from home.
Our boys have not been bullied since despite us going to the school.

Can sympathise with the worring you go through.

Star

Pathetic little cretins is the best I can put on here.
All I can say is at least the school are aware. I would ring tomorrow and ask to speak to the head of year and ask him/her what they are doing about this as schools have a duty to stamp out this unacceptable behaviour and remind them that your son has been assaulted while in their care.

Thanks all

I always said if anyone ever hurt my kids regardless of their age I would go mental but now I don't know how to react. I don't want to make things worse for him. I told him I would give him my mobile phone on Friday and if anything happens he can call me from the loo and I would leave work and go straight there but he doesn't want me to. Have just googled and read up on bullying and its awful some of the things that go on.

I just wonder if the school would have got in touch with me if I hadn't been stood outside today. I wonder how many of our kids suffer in silence? I can't wait for parents eve tomorrow. The school is shut to pupils tomorrow for their reviews. I am going to ring them in the morning when Callum isn't around as it will make him unhappier if he knows I am discussing it with them. Honestly I wish you could see the bruises. Six young adults pinning an eleven year old (small) boy down.
Crickey hubby will hit the roof when he gets home from work
x

When my son was being picked on, he like your son didn't want to tell me, partly because he was embarassed and partly because he thought it would make it worse.
I went early into the school with my son and asked to see the head of lower school. I also refused to leave reception until he would see us.

After listening to our complaint, he turned to my son and asked him what he would like to happen on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being nothing 10 being expulsion. my son said he just wanted it to stop.

After a bit of chat it was agreed that, the boys would be told the teachers had seen what was happening and reported it, that way my son couldn't be seen as dobbing on them.
He was also told that if they bullied him again, or any of their friends did he was to the deputy head and report it immediately.

The way it was handled the power was handed back to my son, as bullied children often feel powerless.
I agree with Pammy about finding ways to boost his confidence.

It is never acceptable for children to be bullied in the way your son has been, go into the school be firm but polite. Stand your ground and make them do something about it. I would also mention that you are considering going to the police and reporting an assault.
Get pictures of the bruises on your son.

Good luck I hope it is sorted quickly OH and
((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))) because I know how difficult it is to cope with something like that.
Don't forget to tell your son how brave you think he is and you understand how difficult it was for him to tell you.

The teacher I spoke to today is going to look at the cameras to see if it is on them but she did say they didn't have enough of them! I have told Callum I will make an appointment and no one will know I have been there not even him.

I just pray the school is as understanding as yours have been. I just had a look at their website but can't see a bullying policy. He is doing so well there as well

I will keep you updated and thankyou for the advice. I can't ring any of my friends and talk to them as he has super sonic hearing and will get upset if he thinks I am discussing it with anyone
x

I would take photos of the bruses, report it to the school and tell them you will report the assult to the police if it isnt acted upon straight away...Ask the school what policy they have on school bullys.

Rosi just beat me too it.Take photos of the bruises and any injury.This is assault.Thank goodness you know now.

was just going to say that blue with the police some schools dont like admitting bullying going on in school

also i would tell the school about the bruises to ...

it angers me so much to hear this is still rife in schools i was bullied .. my heart goes out to him....

Jgee...

I think I would go to the police - had this happened in the street unrelated to school, assault charges could be brought - this is no different

Thank you everyone for your advice & support. The school is to become run by a trust in January and not by the council. I am sure they wont want a bad report before they have even gotten into the new campus!

I have got no chance of getting him to the doctor. He wont have any of it and says I will make things worse. I have taken photos which I told him were just for me but I WILL show the school as soon as I can arrange a meeting. I will speak to his form teacher tomorrow. His best friend stood there and laughed whilst this was going on! more bits of info are coming out gradually.
Typical the day I want to go there the school is shut for parent/student reviews and my meeting isn't until 6.30pm

Once again thank you every one and also to those who have pm'd

Marcelle
x

Hi Marcelle.

Just read your thread and my heart goes out to you. My 2 lads are in year 9 and they've told me in only the last couple of weeks they've stopped a few bullying incidents at their school and given protection to younger kids. Which makes me proud of them but they shouldn't need to do that should they?

It's good that he's allowed you to take photos, and you should show these to school. Let him know that whilst you understand exactly why he didn't want to tell you what was going on, for the bullies to be stopped, he - together with you & his dad - need to take control and not let them get away with it any longer.
Let him know that bullies are cowards and can not win in the end.

When you talk to school I think you should ask what their policy is on bullying. I know you said you didn't notice one on the website, but every school should have one and it should be visible and practical. For goodness sake I've even got one for my childminding setting. And don't let anyone make you (or your lad) feel as if you are over-reacting in any way. You're not. No child or parent should have to accept this.

Really hope you get this sorted and that the school act positively. At least the lady you saw today sounds as if she's on the case.

Good luck, and give him a big gentle ((hug))

Maria xxx



.

Just by reading these replies you can see how rife BULLYING is.

Two weeks ago it was blue day at our schools - Anti bullying week. I even had a go at making blue fairy cakes (that came out green)! for my younger one to take to school for the cake sale

I am going to a meeting tonight at school at 6pm about a French trip that Callum is going on. Hopefully someone in authority might be there

Will let you know what happens. Its lovely the support you get from people you don't know. You are all very special people. Thank you x

I suffered mainly verbal bullying at school, but a physical assault, especially if by a small gang, needs to be acted on.