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Thanks, Susan, for putting up an interesting thread!
Following my original post, I thought I'd comment on my own 3 children.
Eldest is a girl, 23, living away from home since age 18. always very independent, but looks forward to coming home for the weekend. Middle is a boy, 21, argumentative since birth, always got an axe to grind. Lives at home but always out....you know what I mean..... youngest is a boy just 16 and has the odd strop but is generally sunny and easy going.
Number 2 has always been difficult and people often ask if this is middle child syndrome - I reply that he has been this difficult since he was the baby. I think this is simply his personality.
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Evening everyone
a very interesting thread
I am the 2nd child out of 4, my oldersister is 17mths older and my brother is 11mths younger then comes another sister who is 10 years younger
my older sister, my brother and I played togerther alot when kids. we lived in a small village, everyone knew each other, we all went to the same school.
we were treated the same,
when my baby sister came along we helped to look after her but sometimes moaned when we wanted to go out with our mates and mum said 'Take your sister'
I think we are still very close and get on well together
x
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I'm the youngest with only an elder sister.
I'm the one that takes on the familys problems and am the one who nurtures and calms. My sister is the rebel of the family lol.
I'm not sure that this role is actually the real *me* but it's the role I have taken and it is now second naturexx
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My 'middle child' actually fills all the different slots in the sibling hierarchy.
She was the youngest of three - two boys ten and nine when she was born, were from my first marriage.- so for three years she was the spoilt baby sister.
Then we had another girl. That made the first girl the 'older sister'.. Then a year later we had , a boy... that put the first girl as the oldest of the second family, and the middle of the whole family. She has always been the most challenging of the five children.
Of the two older boys, the oldest has always been very jealous of his brother, who is the younger by one year only. They were treated the same, right down to having the same dinky cars etc. We have two of everything. My mother spoilt the older one, and not the second one, so you would think the second one would be the jealous one, but he is not.
All of them think that the youngest boy is favoured, but it is just that they see him getting attention, and don't remember that they had it too.
They are all great fun, the younger three although in their 20s now, still live at home - the older two are here frequently. It is laughter, teasing and 'in' jokes all day - but they are always quick to help or support eachother when needed.
Eileen
birth name
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I said what I said about only siblings (one of two children) in my previous post because I am the youngest of two sons.
Ben
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I am the eldest in the family, altho had an older brother who was stillborn. I think being the apple of my parents' eyes when I was small must have made it hard for me to accept my new baby brother when I was just 2 yrs and 10 days old. Soon after he was born we moved into our first house, before that we had lived in rooms and then at my aunt's house so that we qualified for a council house when my brother was born. Once he arrived my parent's began the traditional role scenario, I don't remember being out in the garden with my dad but recall helping my mum with housework and later on washing up etc.even when small. When my youngest brother arrived, I was 5, my other brother 3 and I was the nursemaid and when I was old enough to be left in charge, had to look after both brothers when my Mum went shopping on Saturday mornings. I taught both my brothers to read and would play schools with them and the other kids in the street. My brothers were always allowed out to play after our tea (dinner) but I always had to stay in and help wash up, then I had my homework to do. I know I used to cry after coming home from a relatives with a younger daughter, as I wanted a sister, I had enjoyed the company of another girl. Never happened tho!
I always got the hand me downs from my cousin in London and I suppose my brother got her brother's stuff, he is the chap who has just died. I know we had a lot of their handmedown toys too. We were always hard up so had a lot of secondhand furniture from relatives too, who helped my mother enormously. Dad's relatives lived away so we didn't see them much.
I wasn't able to stay on at school as my contribution was needed at home, and I think my parents assumed I would meet someone and get married so didn't need a career. Certainly I don't feel I was ever encouraged to aim very high, as long as I had a weekly wage it was acceptable. I had to pay for my own typing lessons at college after I left school at 16 whereas my brothers were helped by my parents and uncles, to stay on at school and/or do some kind training, my middle brother trained as a chef and my youngest brother as an accountant. We got on fairly well when they were younger but the youngest brother met a girl when he was in his early twenties and they married when he was 24 and moved into their own house. From then on we weren't that close as his wife wasn't very friendly, certainly I was rarely invited to their house and that continues to this day. i suppose in the 32 years they have been married - they have no children - I have been to their home (they have had three different houses fairly locally) no more than half a dozen times. My middle brother and I got on ok most of the time, till I bought a house and needed some work done which he said he would do, he took the money - yes I had to pay him! - and then didn't do the first job properly and never did the second job but kept the money. I did many things to help him out, ran a cafe he bought, made curtains etc for a property he was doing up for someone, and all sorts and only charged the costs of the work. We had a disagreement over the work on my house so he fell out with me for a whle, then we bumped into each other as I was going for a drink with a friend, he came into the pub too and my friend introduced him to one of the barmaids, and later on he moved in with her and her daughter, and they finally married in 1991. She is full of herself and my parents didn't like her much, except for the fact she took my son out of their house at last, he had moved back there and Mum was tired of having him around when she and Dad wanted to relax. Now my brother hardly bothers with me, both brothers are loaded but don't think of trying to help me out, but had it been the other way round I would have bent over backwards to help them.
We didn't get a tv set until 1961 or a phone till 1969/70. My youngest brother says we had a great upbringing but he forgets I was 5 yrs ahead of him and so didn't have as much as he did, ending up the only one at home for a while. I don't know if he even paid board money as by then my Mum was working part time as well as Dad out to work.
I feel very envious of families who are close or who have in laws who mix with the family well but sadly didn't happen with my lot.
I once mentioned on here how lucky someone was to have a sister and that's how I got my cyber Sis, Carolb, bless her.
I know my youngest brother and I are similar in some ways, but the middle brother is different again and has said he felt the odd one out. He isn't good socially and has few friends, whereas my other bro and I do have a lot of pals. It was good to spend some time with him on the drive to Southend the other day, we chatted a lot but I don't think it brought us any closer and I doubt I will see him any time soon.
It's really true, you can choose your friends but not your family lol
Li
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Thank you everyone for contributing to the thread.
It has made interesting reading.....I still haven't made up my mind whether it was just me, the fact that I was a middle child, or even a bit of both.
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That I suppose boils down to the old question of Nature v Nurture..........bit of both as you say Sue : )
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