General Chat

That John is very much a common practice ,more so on here than in real life I think,~~~

Agree with you there John

Jenx

Good though Gwynne, and as on these threads, after half an hour, the 'awkward subect' has been wiped out by a dozen different 'awkward subjects', until everyone has no idea as to what the original 'subject' was all about.... lol. John

I respect other peoples opinions, like to give my side, but take on board other peoples point of veiw,,if getting nowhere my only answer is .

lets agree to to disagree.

dont like people being rude just to score points,

Joan

That sounds very familiar, John.

Gwynne

Once knew a bloke who had a real knack at bringing some subect up which he knew was an 'awkward subject', once everyone was at each others throat, he would quietly stroll away into another world with a wry smile on his face.... xxx

I sometimes reckon "straight talking" can be a person's way of "legitimately" having a go at someone else. I'm not talking about anyone on these boards but somebody I knew at uni.

She was an expert on twisting things to make others feel bad and herself look good - making comments like, "Well, to be honest, I've got more problems than you have" - how she expects to be able to get away with saying things like that in the real world I hate to think.

She was also a hypocrite - when her brother was kissing a girl she deemed inappropriate, she had no problems splitting them up (which caused a big row with her brother - she couldn't understand thar) yet it was all right for her to be having a year-long fling behind her live-in boyfriend's back. She acted like she had the right to do it.

But everything she did or said seemed to come under the "I have the right to say/do anything that I think is right" and that can be dangerous when the person doing it is steamrollering over others.

Interesting replies. Thanks very much.

I agree with Maggie and Maddie. Disagreeing is absolutely fine it's when an insult for having a differing view is added and then covered as straight talking .....that gets my back upxx

*agrees with Ann and Maggie*

Some people say they pride themselves on straight talking but in many cases it's just an excuse to be rude and unpleasant.

Gwynne

maggie,
could not have put it better so i will say I agree with what you have said.
Debate is one thing, straight talking another and rudeness is another. There is a fine line between straight talking and being rude and insensitive.

Ann
Glos

Like the old saying,

Its not what you say its the way that you say it,,,,,,

I belive on WWW as in real life you have to be diplomatic,and not resort to name calling,,when that happens you lost the battle,,

In a debate, I will give my opinion honestly, then read other peoples comments and input on the subject.

I have changed my thinking on some topics, or stayed with my initial thoughts.

We are all individuals and our life experiences shape the way we see certain topics..................so we are never all going to agree.

However, having a different point of view from someone else doesn't mean one of us is wrong, so we should all respect other peoples opinions.

As many have said, they agree with straight talking, but don't like rudeness, then use the phrase 'straight talking' in relation to a debate.
To me 'straight talking' is, for example, reading the riot act to your children, telling them what is acceptable in your house etc.
A debate is an exchange of opinions in a civilised manner, where, if you disagree with another's point, you the explain why, and they explain why they hold their opinion etc.
So, essentially, straight talking and debate are not good bedfellows - in fact don't mix well at all!!


The problem is some believe all they have to say is - 'That's a load of rubbish - because I say so' -- they believe that to be 'straight talking' and expect that to be accepted, or they take a differing view as a personal attack on them. That is called an argument - totally different from a debate!!!

maggie

Muffy I think its healthy not to agree with everyone. Lambs to the slaughter and all that.

Sometimes it can be interesting to have a debate and see the otherside of the coin when you both put your opposing opinions across.

You can learn things you didnt know and sometimes change your view - or it can make you firmer in your initial belief when you see another side.

However, the only time this falls down is when some people are not mature enough to understand the art of debate and turn it into a personal attack. This happens in here sometimes. But at the end of the day - that type of person in my eyes is not worth having a debate with in the first place as they are obviously not mature enough to articulate themselves and put over a strong argument for what they beleive in if they have to resort to personal insults.

I like straight talk,i get sick of all the threads that imply something but dont say it outright.
My pet hate though is when someone says something that is obviously obnoxious or thoughtless or spiteful then winks or puts on kisses or pretends they dont know what someones talking about.
That drives me up the wall.
Disagreeing though is nothing I have people disagree with me all the time,thats life and I dont give it a second thought

lol Ann

I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me so long as they do it politely. I've heard/read some people say "I call a spade a spade" but, as far as I'm concerned, that's no excuse for rudeness.

I'm also a dab hand at killing threads!!!

I love a good debate too Kaz - used to get good ones with Hoff on times. By the way, what's happened to Laptop Dancer?
And like you Sally, I too have changed my mind about things after hearing another point of view

I am fine with people disagreeing with me Muffy, because I don't always think that I am right.......

I have had opinions, but have seen it from another point of view, thought about it and changed my mind..... I am always open to learning from others....

i love a good debate, but i'm the one that bales out when it starts to get too heated, even if i'm right...... lol
xxx