General Chat

Harry
Congratulations on the Birth.

My Daughter's first a little Boy " Kaydn " 16 mths is Wonderfull his Dad sorry sp..m donor went walkabout "she don't need him"

Roger

Gail Gran Oz I so totally agree with you. My first son was born after 2 daughters. I had a complication which nearly cost me my life when I bled out, started an emergency caesarian with a blood pressure of 50/0 (yes zero), his little heart had been too traumatised and he died after 15 minutes. I too was severely traumatised, physically and emotionally, the huge incision saved my life but left other probs in its wake.
14 months later I was lying on the OR table again, for a planned c-section. One of the attending doctors flippantly asked me "well what are we going to have today".. My response was emphatic -"it doesn't matter what it is, just get it out alive, we can work on health later, just get it out alive"..
I was blessed with another son that day, but at the moment of truth, it didn't matter what sex the babe was.
Mary

Congratulations Harry, I don't have any grand children but I do have to say that I tend to deal better with boys, never was very maternal towards girls, luckily I have two sons.
I am hoping though in the next few years to own a granchild, my son desperately wants a daughter
Janet
ps I don't think he would be too upset if it was a girl though

What lovely stories. May I wish Gran in Oz and her daughter a safe delivery of a healthy baby, not matter what sex it is. Isn't it great when doctors are proved wrong when these children who are destined to be 'severely disabled, or other' show them they are made of stronger stuff. We love our children and grandchildren no matter what.

Kate im so glad you proved the doctor wrong i dont think they really know what the future holds
when my youngest was diagnosed at 8 months of age with diplegia cerebral palsy nearly 10 years ago, her doctor at the hospitol said that never mind she wont make an olympic athlete and that she will remain small and that her learning ability wiil be slow compared to her peers
how wrong he was allright she isnt an olympic athlete yet! but she always does more laps than her schoolfriends at their annual run, jog walk compatition she never gives up.
shes also top in her class with her reading and writing her teacher says shes very good at expressing herself in the stories that shes always writing
and to top it all shes not small at all she much taller than my other children were at that age!
my first grandchild is due in september and i really dont care what i get im just so excited.
Sharmala

I like it when doctors are proved wrong, too, Deanna. From an entirely selfish perspective, I admit.

When I was born, to start with my parents were unmarried (actually, he was married to someone else with a baby on the way), but that's beside the point really as I was adopted.

Anyway, I thought I was back in the womb when I wasn't so I died twice. My kidneys failed so I was on dialysis and I had fits. I was in hospital till I was a month old. Coming to the time when I was adopted, the doctor who delivered me spoke with my future parents and warned them that I might never read, write, walk, talk etc etc.

I would really like to tell that doctor I graduated last year, that I've spent another three years at college and left school with 11 GCSEs. (Admittedly, I have very limited dexterity in my left hand, but I've been used to that all my life.)

Gran of oz..... that is a lovely story.
God Bless her, I just love when the doctors are proved mistaken in their assessment....

I can't remember who said it, but someone said that she has two boys and that they are more affectionate than girls.
That is because your boys are affectionate... not because they are boys.

I have two girls and two boys (all grown up)
their natures are all different.
If I divided them into a group of characteristics... I would have one girl and one boy..... in each group.
Have I made that as clear as mud?? ;-0)
I tried to make it understandable.... lol

Deanna X

I had two grandsons, and Thank God for them every day.
Makes no difference what sex they are, as long as they are born safe and well.

Also have two grandaughters whom I have never seen, and probably won't ever, so it doesn't bother me in the least.
xx

margaret

I and I am sure others have not said we would not want and love a child if it was not healthy but we all hope our children are healthy, who would wish for an unhealthy child

Margaret, I don't think people mean they wouldn't want the child if it wasn't healthy, they are saying let the child be healthy so it doesn't suffer or is unwell etc so saying let it be healthy and we won't make a fuss about the sex, do you understand what I am trying to say? I am not expressing it very well.
Tina, there are lots of people who want surrogate grandparents, some advertise. I am in touch with a woman in Norwich who advertised in a magazine as she is a single parent and has no more contact with her son's father, and she wanted her lad of 6 then, to have more older people in his life. I have not tried to take on the role of grandparent as I am not always fit enough to spend time with them, but we have met a few times and I email and call them, and send them cards on birthdays and Christmas. The lad has just had his 8th birthday and is a nice lad, his mum works full time so he has a childminder and I try to be a friend of the family sort of thing, and would help them both if I could. I saw a lette somewhere the other day asking for surrogate grandparents too, can't recall where.
Lorraine, yes, I wish my lad would meet a new girl and settle down,so I could look forward to grandchildren. He was with a girl who had a little boy from someone else, and I used to spend time with that lad. My son was with her from when the boy was 2 altho he had known her for years anyway and knew her when she was with the other chap, then when they split she and my son got together. He was with her for over 4 years and sadly they split this time last year, she started going with a friend of theirs behind my son's back. My son still takes the little boy out sometimes which is nice and J. likes to see my son still.
Would be so lovely to have my own grandchildren tho.
Lizx

Oh and Eileen, congratulations on the arrival of Anna Sofia, hope she has a long, happy and healthy life and you can spend lots of happy times with her. Anna was my maternal grandmother's name, it is very pretty.
Lizx

I am very pleased that you have a grandchild - I will never have any grandchildren as I do not have any children and am now not likely to at the age of 51!

I would not care what grandchild I had - would be grateful that I was blessed to be in that position.

Tina x

Congratulations !

It always pains me when people say they don't care what sex the baby is "as long as it's healthy" -- and although I'm sure they don't mean it consciously, it gets passed onto the baby in utero as " I only want you if you are healthy".

Just my two cents worth - don't want to start anything, but it is something to think about.

Isn't it a bit odd that on a family history site, where we study ancestors of all names, that anyone is bothered about passing on the family name?

My most interesting leads have come from female lines and I just follow any name on my tree.

My husband's family name won't be passed on by our daughters but he wasn't born with that name anyway! My maiden name has died out with my generation on my branch of the tree but I don't think anyone is particularly bothered now.

I remember as a child asking my father if he would have preferred boys and being devastated when he said yes. I wouldn't wish any other child to grow up feeling second best.

Sometimes I think it would have been fun to have had a boy and I think my husband would have liked one to share some male things with but I wouldn't swap either of my girls.

Sue
x

Lorraine

Thank you fro your good wishes

She plays for Southampton reserves at the moment,at winchester uni.

Small world

Jan x

jan

good luck to your daughter with the arsenal team sounds just like my sister she played for southampton, They played arsenal in a cup final a few years ago.

My mum dressed her in pretty dresses till she was about 5 then she was having none of it .

Can't wait for my 1st grandchild son is having too good a time to even think about children but every time he goes out with his mates i ask him if he's met any nice girls,

Really don't mind what it is so long as its healthy and I get to babysit a lot.

My son is an only child and despite trying IVF we could not have any more.

Hi

When I was expecting mine I didn't care what it was, when I had her I was delighted cos I could dress her up in pretty frills and pink.

Well untill she was about 3 when she developed a mind of her own and refused to wear anything frilly or pink. She has only worn a skirt twice since, when her brother was christened 10 years ago (she was 9) and last year for her sports ball, and no it was not a ball gown or a frilly dress, althought it was pretty.


Oh and by the way it is my Natasha that has trials for Arsenal next week.

She is the biggest tom-boy you will ever meet, at uni doing a full history honours with hope of becoming a history teacher.

Enjoy your grand-daughter, she will be a delight what ever you do, and grand-daughter hold a soft spot in there heart fro grand-dads, well I do but then I was very close to mine, even though I was only 5 and 6 when I lost mine.

Jan x

I feel the same. Having suffered 4 miscarriages it never even crossed my mind to worry about what sex they were...... I just thanked my lucky stars that I was privileged enough to be able to have them.........and I still do everyday xx

When I was married some 52yrs ago ,I suffered over the years 3 miscariages we thought we would never have children, but we finally did a daughter, who has blessed us with a grandson, we were so happy, the thought of a choice was never in our minds,just to hold a lovely little one was enough, count your blessings Harry, some may never have that chance.

Jean x

Sorry Harry I couldn't make such a choice, as I feel that all children are a gift from God and a true blessing.

Furthermore, my parents married rather late in life and when I was growing up my father always used to say he was disappointed when I arrived first, as he was desperate to get a son to carry on the family name etc, etc............ he went on to produce a son the year after my birth but, even though I know he loved me, it has always stayed with me, the feeling of inferiority.

I dont feel any child should have to feel second best.