General Chat

There is an increase in teenage pregnancy , girls aged 16 plus are now becoming mums . I know because I have to visit the halfway houses that some are put into until they get their "council flat"...their kids are aged from 6 months to 2 years.
We walk in and the heating is set on 30 ... clothes are strewn over every avaliable radiator ... sweets ,crisps on the floor and black bin liners of dirty nappies left in the kitchen area .The mothers are sitting in the kitchen at 11.30 in the morning still in pajama,s cooking full english breakfast...
While we are cleaning , they sit on their butts and ask if it,s our job to clean the cooker !..We explain .. sorry but not till you move out ..kitchen is your responsibility
Rent is paid all amenities are included except food and clothing .
"could you take out your rubbish, the nappies smell ?" we ask ..
reply " but I,ve got a baby and I can,t leave it alone "
us " well there,s 2 of you ,can,t one can watch the babys while the other takes out the rubbish? "
Huge sigh ,,,, "spose so but it,s heavy " .................
Sorry won,t go on ...but I am one of the people paying for this cos the Dads certainly aren,t !........
Kim who,s really P******* off
:))))))))))))))) xxxx

i agree hun tis not good

altho not all young mums r like this thankfully


luv
stray
xxxx

I know exactly what you mean................most young mum's are fantastic................but some of them!

xx

Sorry. I really didn,t mean all young Mums . I just cannot believe the ones we come across ...The Dad has dissappeared ? but still visits on th QT ... the prams and pushchairs are out of this world , their clothes are designer ...they go out every weekend .... but still not enough ...
Moany ol woman am I xxxx

babies having babies

they should of got dolls

if they are to lazy

to clean up after themselves

they are to lazy to be mums

and maybe to;lazy to take precautions to

i to would be annoyed hun having to tidy up after them

they old enough n "wise" enough to have kids they should no how to clean there own place

i hate seeing young mums walking round with all the gold on n pushing there prams like its an assesory

but sadly thats the world today


xxx

Well of course they can afford fab clothes and pushchairs if they've got all their bills paid for them all they have to buy is food and nappies. They should have house rules and if they don't follow them then out on their ears.

Even students in halls have rules to follow or suffer the consequences.

Take out the rubbish, clean the cooker, wash dishes etc. Why aren't they doing their own cleaning, that's what I don't understand.

Most young mum's are fantastic even though they do get their council flat etc. But these ones that you mention are just awful, how will they cope in their own homes? They'll be the ones with the piles of rubbish in their gardens.

Joy , you,ve got it ... kids having kids . They honestly think it,s like having an accessory ... a new handbag or something to show their friends .It,s not just the girls tho , their boyfriends know if they are not around then the girlfriend and child will definately end up with a council flat . In the mean time they don,t pay a penny in maintenance , the state .. thats us do ...
Kim xxx

Sounds like you have had a tough day Kim and you are finding it difficult to work with these young Mums. I know it can be frustrating but the babies and young children are the ones that need our support.

I work in this field also (so know what I am talking about) and it can be a hard slog to get the message through to very young Mums about their responsibility, but at the end of the day, we have a responsibility to help them to cope with their children and come to terms with the fact that they are now parents.

It isn't easy, but it is an important role and you are in an excellent position to show them the right way to go about things.

Please don't take this as a criticism as I do understand your frustration, and sometimes you just want to scream, but not everyone has had the opportunity of a caring and supportive upbringing and might not know the right way to care for a baby or young child.


Of all the families I work with only one family have completely left me baffled - without an answer. This family were eventually sent to prison for the neglect of their children and I still feel an element of sympathy for them. Why? Because they had never had the opportunity to learn how to parent their children, and they were let down by the system. Their own needs were never met as children and they had no hope of ever being able to parent their own children.

Not trying to cause an argument but just wanting to put the other side.

Hope you are feeling a bit better now and have had a chance to relax after a difficult day. I know how hard it can be and I really do sympathise - honest.

Frances x

Sorry ... feel a bit like a female Hitler now .....nothing new says family....:))))
Francis , I understand what you are saying , but from where I,m standing , no one is trying to "educate" these young mothers to be good parents .. in fact they seem quite happy to let them stroll along under their own steam ....
and must admit education comes into it but also responsibility ... as someone said if they are old enough to give birth and keep that child then they have to learn responsibility ...thats not achieved by mollycoddling ..
:)))) Kim


Kim xxxxxxx

I work in a family homeless hostel.Sorry to hear yours are bad.Mine all help me out.They even go and get me something to eat and make me tea.I always get a invite when they move on.Not all of ours are young.We have a man in at the moment with a boy of 6 and a girl of 18 months.No mum.He is absolutely spotless and so are the kids.Annie

so really sometimes,its down to the babies' grandparents because they never taught their kids right.........
respect and responsibility,wasnt in the curriculum
Bob

Hi Grannie , and he has taken responsibility for his children . There are far more out there that do than don,t ...if that makes sense ?
I also have to ask why it is expected that good parenting now has to be taught ? None of us are born knowing how to be good parents , it comes from bringing our kids up . There are many good parents who had a hell of a life in their childhood learned not what to do from that and are / were brilliant parents ....
Kim

As far as I am aware contraception is easily available and sex education is now taught in schools - so even if parents don't educate their children on these matters, schools do.

These young people must be extremely ignorant if they don't know how to prevent pregnancy. Or are they actually more clever than the rest of us!

Who is it that is going without to provide decent homes for their offspring? Who is it who works hard and pays a third of their wages to the taxman to provide for these no-hopers, who is it that pays for their designer clothes, their council flats, and will continue to provide for the equally stupid fruit of their loins from the cradle to the grave?

The rest of us, that's who.

Dee
x

I agree with Dee on this one.....

ok, I knew I would upset a few people and I am sorry for that. I can only speak from my experience and I truly believe that a lot of young parents need increased support to bring up their children. It isn't right, it isn't fair on the rest of young parents who do a good job - but (and it's a big BUT!) the babies of these parents DO deserve a chance. If that means increased services, then that's what we have to do.

Sorry if that offends, but please remember the children in these circumstances.

Frances

Dee, you,ve got it . There are loads of people who have brought up families planned or not, maybe claiming the odd benefit but by going to work supported them ,also paying taxes in the meantime which evolves into a situation where we are now paying for these parents to produce kids just so they can live off the state . ..

i blame the parents

for not educating their kids enough

Good point, Summer. In my halls, someone from reception inspected each flat on a pre-arranged date each month (a list of dates were stapled to the kitchen wall in our flat) and the notes specifically stated that if the management considered any flat to be unacceptably messy or dirty then they would assume the right to send in professional cleaners and whatever it cost would be charged to the flat.

(Ours never got anything like that bad but I assume it would have been taken from the damage deposit everyone paid. Someone scratched writing into the paintwork outside the lift on my floor - there were three flats on that floor so I think they shared out the damages so that a fraction of the cost came out of the deposits of everyone living on that floor.)

We were also given an itemised list at the end of the year of what condition each item was expected to be in (ie. no cigarette burns in the curtains, shower curtain to be laundered and not mildewed etc) along with the costs that would be charged for each item. I never had a plug in my bathroom sink to start with and they would have charged me for that except that I queried it and said I had written down on my inventory for two years running that there was no plug in the first place.

Francis , you have not upset me and thanks for replying . Yes the babies do need a fair chance , but by constantly subsidising the parents out of the welfare state, which the tax payers are responsible for . instead of looking at the problem ...ie why it is so attractive to have a baby before you are 18 or in a stable relationship the problem will just get bigger and bigger..
Kim