General Chat

Romany, glad you got the appointment over, what a winning smile you must have now lol

Deanna, well done for sorting stuff out, a bit at a time is a good idea!

Mary, we sound like twins lol You tho' have much more to worry about than me, my son is pretty much self sufficient, so I only have me to worry about.
Lizx

Well done Romany!! Give yourself a pat on the back.
maxiMaryXX

Thanks Deanna, yes I think finances (or the lack therof) and the fear of debt and losing security of my home etc, fear of being unable to retire and live comfortably are probably at the bottom of it.
I've had to assume a HUGE amount of responsibility since my daughter Colleen was left on her own with 4 kids, 2 of whom have special needs. we now live in 2 parts of a du-plex, which I've bought for mutual support. But her finances are more strained than mine,she has an unreliable ex who conveniently forgets to provide support for the children, therefore I am called on to provide far beyond the norm. My daughter has returned to school 2 years ago, and at the end will command a very good salary, but we need to get to that point. I am due to retire dec 1st and am frightened what will happen then.
Sorry I am probably being too forthcoming here but, appreciate the chance - in case someone can wake me up.
Thanks
maxiMary

see, what did I tell you!!! Dying in the chair indeed!!! Whatever next

Ann XX

Lol Ann :-)) Im back and only had filling replaces & cavity filled, have to go to hospital for tooth extraction. So was ok. I was so lightheaded and dizzy, but put my false smile on and it went ok lol!

AnnGG you are a ray of sunshine/hope - thanks for the freedom to unload some thoughts.
Liz we are totally on the same wave length. . . .

Back to baking our gluten-free bread for the next week . . . . the batter's risen up round the top of the mixer, mercifully I don't have to knead this recipe but will have quite a cleanup this time.
Next are cookies for the kids lunches next week.
Who ever said life was dull?
Thanks for the support
maxiMary

I thought this was a thread to cheer us?

SO WHY did it delete my message before I was finished typing it?
And not a short one either. ;-0(

OKAY.... I shall start again.

Colleen, is it household finances you are struggling with?

Well, I'll do them for you if you come and do my housework (sorry for the bad language folks).

If you are ill and cannot do it then i will allow you to send a friend in your place... and nice busy busy type of woman please.

I am trying to cheer myself up by doing a bit every day.. and I mean A BIT!

I did mine and my OH's drawers today.
We can now open and close them with no effort!!

Put out some good clothing which is now on it's way to the night shelter.

SO... tomorrow I will do a wardrobe...... PERHAPS!

A nice happy day to all of us on here.

Deanna X

Romany Star - how very inconsiderate of you to even think about dying in the dentists chair - come on now, there will be other people behind you waiting for appointments - what on earth will they be thinking!!!! Come on now, it won't be half as bad as you are expecting and you know it.

Love Ann XXXX

Hi Mary and everyone, omg, I can relate to so much of what you just wrote Mary. In fact, most of it except for the husband bits lol
I am like you, can do stuff that I am not emotionally or practically attached to but wouldn't be able to cope with someone coming in and doing mine, I have to do it, it freaks me out if o.h. chucks anything of mine without me seeing it first and checking it.
The family stuff, yes, that is what the counsellor started on yesterday and it will be painful, going right back to childhood etc and the perfectionist bit too, I relate to that. Mary, I still have the clutter of linen, clothing etc as well as paper work to deal with altho I did manage to finally sort out my endowment claim late last year! After years of worry and procrastination, I finally got the forms done and sent in, to receive a huge amount of compensation Not! £145 for mis-selling me a policy, that goes a long way to the shortfall, I don't think! Still have a few other things to deal with but in the main due to online banking and such am keeping abreast of that side of things. Doesn't mean I am affluent tho, only a state pension so still struggling and without a lottery win, the future looks bleak, so I can totally relate to Mary on that score too. I know lots of my problems are due to financial difficulties since I became a single parent, wasn't as much help when I did it as the youngsters get these days.
Better go and get some food, I haven't eaten since I got up at 2 pm as I came on here too soon lol
See you all later,
Lizxx

Good morning, re house swap for Liz and myself. I've been trying to think what the problem is.  I think it's combination for me if I am brutally honest.I have a huge fear of not having enough money to meet my financial obligations.  Therefore I suppose not opening the envelopes is a way of avoiding reality. I have a perfectly good filing cabinet, about 3 months ago i managed to purge all the files, which was good but avoided facing the current envelopes.I did start, did well for a couple of days but panic sets in, and I allow tangents to pull me elsewhere.I can go into my daughters flat and clear her papers with no problem. is it perhaps lack of emotional involvement with HER papers that allows that?When my first husband and I split I pulled myself together and took charge, organised everything, kept a meticulous record of every penny.Then I inherited enough money to replace some windows and married the salesman (after 3 years).I lost myself in the process - couldn't cook any longer because it might not turn out and I'd be the subject of ridicule, I used to love baking but gave it up, gave up eating rice because I always made a mess of cooking it, and became the household joke.When I had the strength to split for my mental health (among other reasons) I determined to find myself again. It's been a long slow process, I do feel better about myself but very easily shake that foundation. perhaps the mess of papers is subconsciously reinforcing that i am not strong enough to cope.I am terrified of debt but circumstances have made it a way of life.   I suppose it's the ostrich with it's head in the sand, if I don't know about it I can't worry about it, but I do anyway. I sit and look at the pile and do nothing about it.  But if it's someone else's stuff I have no trouble. A feeling of being overwhelmed, perhaps it's the perfectionist who knows it won't be perfect therefore cannot start,let alone finish.   I have organised cupboards, decluttered linens, clothing, years of collected "stuff which may be useful some day", but it's all at the expense of the papers. I literally haven't submitted my drug and physio receipts to the insurance for reimbursement, for 3 years. Now I'll only get one years worth reimbursed,when I get to it, costing myself several hundred $$ I could have had back.I try and laugh at myself. but it doesn't make the issue go away.
As a child I believed that my brother was brighter than me,therefore what was the point of trying in school, I'd never measure up to my father's high standards. maybe there's a clue there . . . I'm sorry to ramble on, just AnnGG got me thinking, what IS the problem.Thanks for listening, I've killed half a big bag of veggie crisps while typing. And I wonder why the weight doesn't come off!!maxiMary

Hello ladies (and men) am going to have back tooth out in half an hour. Am so shaky already, keep thinking I might die in the chair lol!

have just pm'd her so we know how she is

Hi all, just realised we have had no posting from Ruby slippers lately in Oz - I shall pm her and see if she's OK - glad to see the rest of the gang seem to be doing fine

Love Ann XX

just popped in to say morning all and thank you all for asking after me im not on here for long as im of to drag oh down town shopping so ill catch you all later today have a nice day every one elaine

Morning all you lovely friends. My daughter came into my room this morning and sat on the bed! I gave her a kiss x. Then she made me a coffee while I came to!

Just finished talking and going to get us showered so while she is in there looked in on you all.

I was thinking maybe Liz and Mary could do a house swap for a month and sort out each others stuff! lol Out of interest Liz and Mary, what would you be able to do to sort the others house out, that you can't do in your own house? What can you see in someone elses home that needs doing that you know you should do at home and why can't you do it? Help us understand your trouble. Is it insecurity? Liz I hope your new counsellor is able to help you.

Linda best wishes for your scan results. Pleased your daughter was able to go with you. The sleep is good for you. Your body must need it and it's natures way of making you rest. It will do you good. So then you managed to spring clean. I think it's a good word on here! If you feel like cleaning thats better than not doing it. Well done xxx

Elaine how nice to meet an old friend. Focus on the good days, put the bad ones down to "that was then" behind you this is now! The good ones will become more normal xx.

Thanks hon, will have a lazy day tomorrow and try to sort some stuff here to keep o.h. happy.

Maybe we should do a house swap lol only I wouldn't want to make you stay here with o.h., perish the thought, and there is no space in my cold house at the mo. Don't think I could cope with your hectic schedule either, love.
Take care,

Lizxx

Well we are a pair, I am exactly the same, could come and sort you out but can't do myself. I know the theory, just getting me started. Once I start I'll be busy for hours, will someone please turn my on-switch.
have a good night,Liz,
MaryXXX

Hi Mary, I shall go to bed earlier than usual, I had to get up earlier so it is catching up with me.

What a cheeky mare that nurse is lol

Funny you should say about a manager, now I would be able to sort you out no problem, just myself I can't deal with lol
A few years ago, I p.a'd for a friend in her early 70's (then) who was selling up here and moving to live permanently in her apartment in Paris. I went round weekly for several weeks and did all the phone calls, helped her catalogue and pack the books she wanted storing, sorted out the storage for furniture she couldn't take with her, etc etc Then I went round most days for a week and finalised everything and was there to clean the house when she left. It went like clockwork! Now why can't I do my own stuff lol?
Lizx

Liz, please get some rest you must be exhausted.

I had a bit of a shock tonight, one of the young nurses who is a good 40 years my junior, said,"you'd better go out and look at the eclipse, it may be the last one you see" Cheeky . . . .LOL . . . .
I retaliated with "yes and I'm living in my last house and driving my last car".
I think the next lunar eclipse is due 2010, I have no intention of leaving before then, if I have anything to say about it. Too much to do, too many papers to sort out.
I need a manager . . . .
maxiMary

Hi all,
thanks everyone, I am ok, but was a bit drained after my first session with counsellor. She is going where no other counsellor has gone before, and seems good. I didn't even bother to put mascara on before I went which is not like me, I normally never go out without mascara, but it was ok cos then I didn't smudge it all down my face lol
Took it with me to put on after as I had to go to a couple of shops, by the time I got there the redness had gone and I could doll up! Did a bit of browsing, hardly bought a thing and came home for a lazy evening.
Will try to catch up with everyone later, Kathy I did intend phoning you but got absorbed in something else and then o.h. was home.
See you all later,
Lizxx