General Chat

Yes jenny I am,

Im glad you put this thread up. I didnt want to say cos i thought id look a misery guts. Im happy for the little ones but the pressure of findiing all the extra money is worrying me so much.

Both my Granparents died at Christmas, one on the 21st, on on the 26th....


But a family situation involving my husbands estranged son and my mother in law is worrying the hell out of me, I feel I am being pushed into a situation I emphatically do not want to be in, infact ive almost put a thread up asking for advice but dont know how to word it.

My love to you and all who are dreading Christmas.

Caz xxx

it seems al the news is depressing
you dont hear the good stuff, just stuff thats dont do this you mustnt do that
and programe makers should look at their scripts,
its really depressing

my oh keeps texting me from work to check im ok
bless him

Thanks everyone ...just had son on phone asking why he needs to come home at weekend!!!

Yes do you know Julie Ann it is all depressing news ...but we should be greatful that we have life ............
Julie Ann I hope you are being good then!!!...lol

im always a good girl i am

dont drink
dont smoke

I,ve stopped doing Christmas ,over the years, tree decoratoins, turkey, killing myself shopping....... last year I announced no more presents and this year not even a card....and I don,t feel one bit guilty.!!!
It was never a nice time as a child and with each person I lost it became harder to bear, so I spend the day my way.I don't expect anyone else to do the same as me. But...it is so much easier to get through, on my own , my way.by choice. I have been known to have a boiled egg for dinner and enjoyed it immensely. So don,t feel you have to oblige anybody. Have a quiet day and then don't feel forced to be happy., and thats Bah Humbug so be it!

I dreaded Christmas last year, but this year I am being positive - just me, hubby and Derek, together, I am at work til 1pm. whnen I will drop my lasy lady off at her Mum's for Christmas dinner, home to open presents, then straight to the cemetary to see Stephen, then home, put dinner on and crack open a bottle of wine-and no work the next day. Hard as it is, I believe we must make the erffort, whatever the memory, as we have to think of each other. If I am sad on Christmas so is my husband and Son, and they need my support not my tears. There said it, and feel better for it, took me a while to think like that..

I was thinking that Jenny.....last year our family was on a downer because we had lost our Dads within a couple of weeks of each other.... we still have our bad days ....... and do keep in mind those who cannot work up any sort of enthusiasm because of painful times and painful memories.....

We are lucky, we are strong, we can all pull together and understand, there are those who are not as lucky as we are, and I do keep those people in my thoughts.....

May all of you who mourn, or with poorly relatives, or are in ill health......have the best time you can, and know there are people out here who do care......x

atlast some where where i can shout BAR HUMBUG.

we i lost my brother yrs ago christmas never felt the same & even still dosent now.if it was'nt for the children i would do i what i normaly do & work all of it.to me its just another dy.But the only difference is people go mad shoppin,buy to much food,children wont even more & bigger stuff than last yr ect ect.
Good luck to eveyone who enjoys christmas but where not all the same.

this years is gonin to be hard & yet another family memeber has left us,but as always we just get on with.After all the only 24hrs in a dy,it will soon be over.

hugs for others like us xx

Hi Jenny,

Yes, you are not alone.

Kind regards
Amanda

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, I am so sorry that Christmas is not a joyfull time for many of you and my heart goes out to you. My Christmas wish is that I could make it better for you

all my love, God bless
Lesley xxxx

Hi Everyone

First of all I would like to give a big hug to all who are facing christmas alone or with sadness.

Like many of you I have loved ones lost over the years, a young child aged 7 17th December, Hayley's Grandfather Boxing day, fond memories of friends lost near to Christmas and thoughout the years. The year ahead is not looking good either.

For many years I would start to feel depressed at Christmas time and wish it was all over and done with.

Then I started to think of memories, good memories of days gone by, the enjoyment we all had back then and how we laugh, joke and have so much fun. I have some really good memories of Christmas time.

One year whilst going through my normal depression, I started to think of some of these memories only this time I didnt feel a sadness but a warmth came over me. I started to think to myself, these are the memories I myself would like to leave behind. These are the memories those who I leave behind will have. I want them all to have good memories and ones to look back on in the years when Im not here.

I still have my little cry over christmas and then I raise my glass to those ive lost, to those who are still here and to those good times we had and have.

I know what you mean - christmas is always a strange time for me, having lost a close friend unexpectedly close to christmas (and being with her when she collapsed).

This year will be hard having lost my dad in Sept. It will be his birthday on Mon 17th and I have my birthday on Boxing Day, so we have lots of 'firsts' still to get through (also mum has just had her birthday and it would have been their anniversary a couple of weeks ago)

But, I'm trying to not go with the hype of it all, and am just looking forward to having some time off work and spending time with family.

Hugs to all xx

A Big HUG to all those who are missing their loved ones this year especially if the loss is very young.

It does get bearable believe me but it takes time. Our worst Christmas was 1975 when we loss Pops on the 19th Dec , his birthday too was the 28th but we waited to 31st Dec to say our final goodbyes to him ..
NEVER ever thought it could be the same again but family all pulled together & supported Mum and in time it got accepted altho still hurts very year at Christmas. lost mum too in 1980 and bro in 2000 and sis in 2002,

Love and hugs to all who are suffering losses of loved ones

Shirley

I am doing Christmas for my children one of whom is 21 and two are 20. I have many personal problems at home but I don't see why I and the children should suffer and not enjoy ourselves as best we can.

It will be sad in many ways but at least I will have my children around me.

I am sad that you are not going to have a good Christmas......though to a certain extent it can be what you make of it and you don't have to buy into all the commercialism if you don't want to.

Last Christmas my husband was in hospital having major surgery for bowel cancer. It didn't seem fair because he is already in remission from a blood cancer and to have two different cancers seems more than cruel.

However......over the past 12 years I have been told 3 times that he wouldn't last the night and he is still here. Last Christmas my 2 daughters and I invited two people who were going to be alone over Christmas to join us and (although it felt a bit odd) we had a good day.
Two years ago we all had the Norwark virus and felt ill over Christmas.

So this year I am going to have a MERRY Christmas. I have kept the pressure down by buying presents over the past few months and wrapping them as I go along. I will not be buying enough food for a siege but we will have a good dinner.

As I've got older I can look back over good, bad and indifferent Christmases. I've decided it isn't just up to me to make it happy for everyone else but if anyone is going to be alone we will invite them to join us.......we've found one loner already.

So I suggest simplify the day a bit and try to invite friends to join you because that way you can make it feel more festive.
I will light a candle or two for family and friends no longer with us but I am jolly well going to celebrate those of us still here. Every day is a bonus.

Sue
x

Yes Christine, I am very fortunate. I'll remember all those that are missing and it will be very strained in the house for reasons I won't go in to but at least I'll have the 'young adults'.
Viv

Not looking forward to it at all, for various reasons.
There, said it! :-))
But reading your postings puts things into perspective, so thank you friends. :-))))
x

I am really sorry for those of you dreading Christmas, and I hope it will prove not to be as bad as you expected.

We raise a glass to my Dad on Christmas day - he died Christmas day 2001. He was 93 so though sad to lose him he was a good age. i always swore he chose Christmas day to go so that we would always remember him. He loved Christmas as did my Mum who died in 1994 aged 85. They always gave us a great time at Christmas despite the lack of money. We hope we did the same for our two, and now we share our Christmas with them going to son one year, daughter the next, and always enjoy our day because we are still big kids at heart.

so Christmas is tinged with sadness because of those in the family we have lost, but we enjoy celebrating with those we still have. This year it is with daughter, her husband (who does all the cooking) and the three 'boys' 19. 18 and 15. Hopefully plenty to eat and drink and that we all stay healthy.

But I will be giving a thought to those of you who are so sad at Christmas.

Ann
Glos

We are a small family anyway, but now much smaller this Christmas. Last year was our first Christmas without my beloved Mum, and this year we don't have my husband's parents either.

I have tried to keep calm, but busy, and try to remember last year when the actual day itself wasn't quite as bad as we were anticipating.

Like Viv, we are very fortunate to have a lovely son who will be home for Christmas after his first term at Uni. He is great, still pretends to believe in Santa, so we do have some fun.

Sending my love and thoughts to those who are in similar situations xx

I wish to Thank every one for adding to this thread ..........
I have to say that my story seems silly to worry ......
My love and Thanks goes out to you all
XXX