General Chat

This is quite a long posting, but i really appreciate the time anyone takes to read it.

I have been to my GP this week, and he is referring me to Hope Hospital (Weight Management Clinic) This is my final chance at some kind of normal life.
I have been vastly overweight for the majority of my adult life. I've had counselling, and i know the problem stems from my childhood, bad parents, and i'm an abuse survivor.
At the time, food was the only thing i had any control over. I had/have no self esteem, and i really hate myself. As the years have passed, i no longer controlled food, IT controlled me. I ate for whatever reason, i binged constantly(although i don't binge anymore) I rushed into marriage at 17, mainly to escape home. My "then" husband, put me down for 30 years. The only good thing to come out of that marriage were my children. I'm now married to a fantastic man, who loves me regardelss of what i weigh( that still amazes me)
My children don't care about my weight, neither do my friends.......but i really hate what i've become.I've tried so many diets, pills, among other things.
I know i'm killing myself, but i can't stop. My GP thinks they will suggest surgery, either staples or gastric band....I'm so scared, i feel my life is spiralling out of control.....i know i've got to do something before it's too late.... but i'm sat here crying. I know the op can be dangerous cos of how big i am, but i think if i die on the table, at least it will all be over
How can anyone love this fat ugly thing..... i really hate me and wish i had the courage to do something to end my pain
I'm so sorry to put this on you all, but i have nowhere else to go. NO ONE understands

Hello Jean,

Well that was one emotional post, good for you, at least you have put into words what's in your heart. That is one hell of a start.

Whatever you decide to do has to be for yourself. If you are unhappy and losing weight will increase your self esteem and make you happier you must consider all options. Gastric band being one of them.

Don't even talk about dying on the table. Your surgeon will take all risks into account with surgery and discuss them in full with you.

There are people on this board who can advise you far better than I but at least you know that we do care.

Please continue to post so we can keep up to date with how you are doing.

Sue xx

Jean, firstly DON'T THINK OF DOING ANYTHING other than take your doctor's advice.
Don't let your ex-husband win, girl. You were put on this earth for a purpose. Your wonderful hubby and lovely children are proof of that.
I've watched many a programme in the last few years, on Sky TV, about peeps in the USA with extreme weight issues, culminating with them having their stomachs stapled.
True, it was a rather invasive surgery, but they never looked back after their ops, and some time after their ops, they looked sensational!
And I have to tell you off Jean for insulting yourself!
So consider yer bum smacked for that. You've had the courage to come on here and tell us about this issue - which is the hardest step, they say.
You are obviously a lovely, as well as much-loved, person. So think about that.
And think about what the doctor suggests? If you do go for that op, tell the hospital staff and your GP about your understandable worries.
Keep us posted Jean, I'll be thinking of you hon.
(((HUG)))
x

Hi Jean,
Im sure you know what road you will have to travel on,
you owe it to yourself,and with a loving and supportive family, they will be with you every step of the way.
I hope you get all the support that you will need,
and wish you all the luck that you will deserve.

Thinking of you,

Trish
xx

Jean I couldn't shift my own weight gain on my own but I lost it with Weight Watchers.
Seems it wasn't the case of my eating too much but I was eating ALL the wrong things.
Have faith in yourself & what you can achieve & start saving for the new wardrobe!

My weary eyes are beckoning me to bed now, so will say night-night and God bless.
x

Jean,
I don't think I can help very much, but I do send you all my best wishes and hope you will be able to either go for this operation or lose some weight without it.

You obviously have a great family , and they will need you in the future as you need them now.

Did you see, last year i think it was ,the young man on 'This Morning' on TV? Charlie, he was very overweight and could not walk much...he managed to lose stones, a little at a time,walk a few paces further.... a little at a time.
it can be done (says me who is overweight! but it is will power and support that makes the difference) it will be slow....

I think that is the main thing really, that you must set very small goals for yourself, if you think " I have to lose 5 stone or whatever...it seems too great a challenge and is easier to 'give up', but if you say I will lose 1 lb this week or I will eat only fruit and vegetable today ,it makes it a realistic target.

I hope you will succeed, for yourself firstly, and for your family, please let us all know how you are doing.

Rosexxxx

Hello Jean, this must be the night for revelations, but it is good that people feel confident with those around, to say what is on their minds.
I try very hard to eat healthily but succumb to temptation far too often because the naughty things are here in the house, o.h. is always buying chocolate and he is even more overweight than me, and can't blame his on HRT either lol.
Do be brave and be ready to try what ever the hospital suggests, stick to it if it is healthy eating and if they suggest an op, I think they usually suggest you lose a little bit of weight first by yourself, to show you are committed. If you go for the op and it works for you, be prepared to ask for some counselling too as often people expect miracles with these ops and don't understand that they are still the same person, albeit thinner, and the problems you have accumulated need to be addressed and dealt with. Please don't think I am being negative but just saying what I have read.
With trying to lose weight, or do anything difficult, tell yourself 'an inch is a cinch but a yard is hard' which means don't try to do too much in one go, a little bit at a time is a lot easier, the way the sea wears away a rock, a little bit every day till the difference is visible over several weeks, months, years.
Lots of luck and don't forget there is always someone here to talk to if you feel down.

Lizx

Jean is it the lipotrim diet your going on ?

hi jean, if you can afford it then i recomend the lighterlife diet, it is expensive but it works, i lost 6 stone in 12 weeks and it was quite easy to do the programme £66 a week sounds alot butwhen you consider you dont buy any other food or drink its not as bad as you might think, 12 weeks to turn your life around is no time at all. also in the first 4 weeks on the programme my sky high blood pressure returned to normal, all the best jean from ray

hi linda, just click on www,lighterlife.com it needs a bit of willpower but it really does work and there are no calories to count just 4 sachets of soups or shakes, which also have all the vitimins and nutrients you need, after a week on them you feel totally detoxed,, i think blokes lose more than women not sure why but i lost a stone in the 1st week and that was all the incentive i needed. and im sure a woman can expect to lose half a stone a week, and if you can tell me a diet with those kind of results then tell me, you do have to drink at least 4 litres of water a day, to stop hydration but you do get used to it. all the best ray

Hi Ray, you still around? How long ago did you do the diet and are you keeping the weight off by eating less of ordinary food now?

I would like to lose maybe a stone to start with, and see if it stays off afterwards. Will have to take a look at the site.
Lizx

After the first 2 weeks on a diet, unless extremely overweight you should be looking to loose no more than 2lbs per week. No one puts on weight fast so why think you can loose it real quickly?

hi liz yes im keeping the weight off and trying to steer clear of white bread, which is full of suger, if i eat it for a week i gain half a stone if i dont eat it i lose half a stone, its learning what your body is intolerable to. so i try to stick to grainary breads leave the fizzy drink alone, diet coke, my a,,e. if you drink a litre of plain water, tap or bottled you burn 70 calories and water is so good for you, skin ,organs the lot. ray x

claire i thought that being extremely overweight was the subject of this topic ? ray

Yes Ray but PD is only on about losing a stone & to to that in 2 weeks is not healthy. I totally agree that if you have a lot to losse you can afford to drop down quicker than this. Good to hear that you've not only lost it but are keeping it off.

hey im not ready for me box just yet claire, but at five ft 8 ins 21 stone was pushing it, because of my stocky build i was alright at 19 stone but over that then the belly starts, so to get down to 15 was a bonus, also people were quite shocked when i told them i was 21 stone as they thought i was about 17 stone, so i wont rely on bmi, got to think of the old ticker though, ray

Hi Claire, I don't suppose I would lose that much as would adjust the diet plan accordingly, and I am actually about 4 stone overweight, just could not afford the new clothes so would rather lose a bit to feel less podgy and then try to keep that off and maybe lose a little more more gradually, by eating properly, no chocolate etc, and hopefully would be able to exercise a little with the stone gone. I have turned into my late Mum, real apple shape and she ended up with diabetes and heart attacks so don't want to go down that road. Having said that, my diet is very full of veg and fruit and I mostly only eat wholemeal or wholegrain bread etc, wholemeal pasta and brown rice, don't like the white sort.
off to bed now, going to take advantage of having it to myself tonight and read for a while, night folks,
Lizx

Am 5'6" and hover between 13st 11 and 14 st.

ps. Ray, I do drink a lot of liquid as I had a kidney stone a few years ago and realised I had been drinking too much coffee and not much other liquid, so now drink lots of tea, with tiny dash of milk and half spoon sugar, and also lots of water with just a tiny dash of hijuice cordial/squash. Am steering clear of fizzy drinks, as I thought I was doing good with those fruit flavoured fizzy waters only to discover that they have aspartame in and I blame that for my fibromyalgia starting up. Would love to get shot of that one!

aint it a shame that all the nice grub, is also the worst ray

Jean.

Nobody can decide for you, but remember all surgery carries risks. I myslef am having major surgery in 3wks, and feel very frightened, but have been told that anaesthetic nowadays is administered according to the patients own needs.

Your are obviously a very loving person, otherwise you would not have been lucky to have had another chance at love rom what souns like a lovely man. He and your children love you so very much, and accept you for who you are, not what you are. I to saw Charlie on This Morning, and he is back on each week, not sure of which day, as he goes for surgery to remove his excess skin that has been left after his weight loss. He lost about 30 stone.

You will receive pyschological treatment before your op if you ask your doc.

I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do. You have taken a great big leap forward by expressing your feelings and fears, and remember that you have friends here who are willing to listen to you, and give you support. Please keep us posted.

Regards

Vic xx