General Chat

I have recently been told by my mother in law that people who do family history have nothing better to do with their time and small minds than dig around in other peoples lives looking for dirt and secrets. This upset me so much that I nearly threw away all my family history I had collected on all my families! Thankfully I was told not to. I have only been doing this properly for two years and have 50 + families and this is the first time I have had any problems. Everyone else I have come into contact with has been wonderful. I have new relatives and all on this site and other FH sites cant do enough for you. I expected to perhaps have people who chose not to help but to be so out and out rude was a shock but thanks to all who do help.

Take no notice, Amanda, Your'e doing a grand job! don't let others put you down, talk to us instead!.. wer'e all interested!..

Amanda, Your mother in law is entitled to her opinion, but dont let her spoil your hobby for you. You and I know, its hard enough finding out their names and dates etc, never mind anything else. Long may you enjoy researching your tree, Love and Hugs, June xx

No offence, but it sounds like someone else is narrow minded and obviously hasn't a clue about genealogy. My aim is to find any rellies and let them know they still have families, aren't alone in the world before we're six feet under. (((((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))))) Mel in Oz.

dont let it get u down u just carry on enjoying it lou x

Hi Amanda, Oh isn't it a shame that your mother in law has taken this attitude. It comes accross to me that she is the one with a small mind or that maybe she has something to hide. I like to feel that my ancestors would be proud that I care enough to find out how they lived even if I do come accross ....things in the cupboard. Like you I have met and been in contact with lots of people who up untill doing my family tree knew nothing about, and it has widened my horizons to the effect I am very open minded at to what I find out......small minded NO. Take no notice of her and carry on doing your tree..she may not thank you but many have and will continue to do so in years to come. We are a special breed... who care enough to do it. Hugs to you Amanda Best wishes Lynn

Amanda, You are not alone. All my family is in South Africa. My late Father had eleven brothers and sisters and the archives are a goldmine of information. If only I could find one family member to pop in and do a bit of digging for me. Instead I have to pay someone to do it. I have been told not to bother certain family members with questions as they are not interested. My mother told my sister that she thinks I have become obsessed with dead people. Laugh it off! I do. That is why I am a member of genesreunited, to make contact with like minded people. ((((((HUGS))))) Lindy;-))))))))))

Thank you everybody!!!

Amanda, Sounds rather like M-i-l might have some skeletons in the closet on her side of the family. Crista

Amanda ,you should tell your mother in law that she is only jealous because people don,t do research into old witches,what a bundle of fun she sounds.Thank god my mother in law was a gem ,and my mum too. We are glad to have you ,and have fun.Fred.ptfg.

I had a similar response from an auntie. Obviously she's entitled to think what she likes. I just get on with my tree. I think she thinks I am going to dig the dirt about her - so that makes me wonder what she has to hide! A lot of my friends and even my own daughter's think I sepnd too much time looking for dead people. Get a life is a common phrase. Well I have and I enjoy it thank you very much! I'm not harming anyone. I'm having fun. So where's the harm? Live and let live and each to their own I say. Jane

HI AMANDA take no notice of your mother in law, enjoy your hobby, some people will never understand the reasons we search for our roots, its not just about people its the history that goes with it. [I'll let you into a secret i have done some searching this morning and i am beginiing to wonder if my lot wore knickers, as i have another lot with no father TE He ] happy hunting sandra

((((((((hug)))))))))))) Your mother in law should keep her opinions to herself, sorry but she sounds like an old bat to me. I'm a mother in law as well and I would never dream for a moment of saying such things to my daughter in law. I keep it zipped when necessary. Jo.

Amanda, Ignore her and enjoy your hobby; there are far worse things you could be doing with your time!!! What's she got to hide anyway ;-) LOL Janice

Hug!! :) I'll hug anyone, so friendly I am. Joy

Crista you voiced my thoughts...........I bet Amanda is wonderin' what skeletons she is hiding now LOL I love my mother in law and wish she was nearer than a plane ride so we could do this together - she gives me the enthusiasm to keep sticking at her side of the family tree. Weekly reports are given and then there is the phone calls inbetween when the bmd certs arrive lol.......hubby just rolls his eyes up to the heavens lol. Stick at it, I've recently become bored of my own tree's and taking a break by helping newbies on the trying to find board - purely cos once a blood hound always a blood hound . ((((hug)))) Much happiness Debi

Sounds to me like your m-i-l has something to hide and is frightened of what you might find. That would make me more determined to keep on digging!! (but then again I'm nosey!) Luckily my m-in-l is also doing her own family tree, so I have been able to pinch some of her names and put them into mine! Maggy

Sounds like a lot of other people wondered same as me, what has she got to hide?. My m-i-l has an incredible memory and has helped lots with putting family tree together, even my mum seems to know more about dads side than dad did himself!! Keep up with the good work, it's your hobby after all. {hugs} Val

Amanda - perhaps you could tell your ma-in-law that I indeed have other things to do in my life, but because this is such a fascinating subject it's my favourite hobby at the moment. It also keeps me sane when the kids are being pains! You might also tell her that I was talking to a prominent (and very busy) member of society recently and one of the subjects raised was geneology. He said he thought that geneology was "quite fantastic", and that his brother has done their family tree. No, Amanda's Mum-in-law, I can assure you we are decent people, not trying to find dirt etc etc. Good grief, you have a very low opinion of us, dear lady! Oh - and Amanda, just for your encouragement, my parents, in-laws and various relatives think it's great what I'm doing, so keep at it, girl! Luv from Glenys x

Love and support, Amanda BUT if your mother in law has got a secret she’d prefer to be hidden, then it’s something that may still have the power to hurt her and other members of your husband’s family. I’ve just discovered that a distant relative was a paedophile. Seventh cousin and a century ago, but I don’t think I’d be sharing that little morsel with any of his descendants. Brenda