General Chat

has anyone elses child been bullied?mine has.she was actually physically assaulted in class while the teacher was present.(stabbed in the leg with a pencil).after numerous letters a trip to the school to see the head which i couldn't see,they brushed it under the carpet and denied all knowledge of me being up there and sending letters.the education authority were no help and when all this was going on i had to keep my daughter off school.the education authority kindly reminded me that i could be chucked into pruison for keeping her off.thought long and hard and decided enough was enough and saw my M.P who kindly took the problem on and it was dealt with straight away.anyone else who are having problems with the response their getting from the school.do what i did get it sorted before it's too late.children have been known to take their own lives because schools cannot be bothered top take bullying seriouslyxxxxx(:

How awful..... schools today seem to be a joke.... they are not alowed to punish and therefore appear to not notice the stuff that is right under their noses!! well done for getting it sorted!! Just a shame you had to go the long way round!! Hope your daughter is ok now!!

yes she's fine now di.no thanks to the school or the education authority though.have no faith in them now.i think bullying is rife not that they would admit ti itxxxx(:

Lisa, Did you contact the governors of the school? They actually have more power than the head! If you haven't it may be useful to send them a letter of complaint about the head and the school's treatment of you. The school should also have a 'Bullying Policy' document - ask for a copy in case it happens again - which hopefully it won't!! If they dont have a bullying policy - complain again!! They'll soon get the message!! Maggie PS do all complaining by letter - and keep a copy

I've gotta say our school is brilliant. My daughter was ebing verbally abused when she was in yr2 ( she's now yr7) all it took was two trips to see the teacher and the problem was resolved. My best mates son has got bad excema (Sorry can't spell that). And as a result his skin flares up. One time it was really bad ( in reception, he also yr 7 now) and he took a lot of stick. His mum went in and spoke to the teacher. They did a special lesson on how people differ and to my knowledge his skin was never mentioned again. I realise these two incidents are no where near as serious as yours but i have heard of more serious incidents and to my knowledge they have been treated just as swiftly.

yes lisa my son has been bullied and it continues, hes 13 and we live in wales, im welsh our daughters welsh, my hubby and son are english.(married a soldier, son born in england so hes proud to say hes english and so are we proud of him). when ever england play footy or rugby our son gets hassle about being english, recently it started to get that any reason at all theyd refer to his nationality by calling him an english b.....d , enlish scum. we told him to try to ignore it as hes not a meek lad and will stand up for himself, but it got too much when one group of lads he has grown up with pulled him down a bank by his ankle, shouting about him being english. we complained to his head of year, hubby asked her what their policy was for rascist comments to asian pupils, when he told her what had happened she said she didnt think it was racist but would deal with it. the school say they dont tolerate bullying, however i have had to complain about teachers bullying pupils too. no one else will voice their opinion but why should kids put up with it. i hope your daughters situation is sorted out soon. dont let them talk down to you, stand up to them as you have done. i hope you can sort it out.

I believe all schools have to have a policy on bullying which as a parent you have a right to see. As someone who works in a school I can say that we do take bullying seriously. The problems occur with the children who don't tell anyone, and it is impossible to see/hear everything that goes on in (and out of school). nell

i worked in a school too nell sometimes kids would tell me about teachers ignoring their complaints. your school may have a good policy but a lot and too many dont stick to the policy because they deny they have problems, also how many kids will have the courage to tell on a bully, they are usually intimidated or the bully threatens them.

I used to be verbally abused, but telling the school didn't help so I solved the problem myself. I still get offensive comments about me being english, but I'm not really bothered about it anymore. I've learnt to ignore it. Lucia

i was bullied at secondry school once i was beaten senceless my parent's went to school many at time but the school did nothing so my parent's moved me to another school & im glad to say i was no longer bullied the bully got away with it the reason the other girl gave for bullying me was coz i was fostered (dum i know but that was what she said) i hope you are able to sort this out bullying is a terrible thing & i think girl's are worse than boy's

hi - i know what it is like to be a parent of a child that is unhappy at school. we disagreed with far too many things - now we home ed them. its fantastic ! - im so glad we did it - my children are now turning into well rounded individuals - instead of worrying about when the next "battle" is going to take place they can actually concentrate on the matter in hand - getting an education! anyway - id better stop now because once i really get started on todays education & schools you wont stop me! ttfn sam oh and by the way - they cannot chuck you in prison - thats just a scare tactic they use- as long as your child is recieving an education equivalent to their age & aptitude. where that education takes place - i.e school or home is irrelevant

Hi everybody, Unfortunately bullying seems to be endemic in schools these days. I was bullied at school 50 years ago, but the schools in those days dealt with it (or the parents did). My 8 year old grand-daughter has been bullied unmercifully over the last 10 months, the school has a policy but it must be tucked away in a drawer somewhere, according to them they don't have a bullying problem. The school governors were impotent too. My daughter kept the children off school (having work sent home) but was "advised" she has a duty to send them to school. She's had to see a solicitor. There's no discipline these days, everyone is afraid of the bullies. Usually the parents are bullies too and the truth is they really don't care what their children are up to. Desperate isn't it. JP

schools are just not intrested in dealing with bullies any more.i have a 15 year old who has suffered at the hands of bullys for the last 3 years.bullying started within 3 weeks of her starting secondry school,first name calling and then pushing and shoveing,each time i made an appt. went to see the head of year,nothing done then she was attacked and the girl bite into her head and battered her,my daughter picked herself up and went back to school a week after it happened,i went to governers,i went to the head and it slowed for a while,well thats what she told me i found out diffrent afterwards..she retaliated one day and fought back,broke the girls nose and split her lip,she said she just snapped and couldent take any more,the school took action and suspended my daughter and the bully stayed in school.a few months later she was in a science lesson and there were 30 boys and 2 girls,the teacher left the room and 2 boys decided it would be fun 2 try rape my daughter,they pinned her to the wall and indecently assulted her and she ran out of class just has the teacher came back,she was sent to inclusin [ a room for people miss behaving ] for running out of lessons,the teachers took no action when told what had happened,i had to call the police they didnt,all those to boys got were 1 weeks suspension,my daughter was 13 and at the time,we refused to let her go back,i had all sorts of threats about court ect.she started to self harm because of it all,she was out of school for 9 months before i got it all sorted with the education,she went back to a diffrent school completely out of the area,she started there in march this year,uniform cost me nearly 300 pound,we had her hair done ect to make her feel better give her some confidance,it was lovely to see her smile again,3 weeks at the school and a cousin of the lads who attacked her who we didnt know went to the school,well he started rumurs and the bullying started again,tryed to sort it with the school,nip it in the bud straight away,school just offered to keep her in playtmes and dinner time and said it was the only way to ensure her safety!i dropped her and picked her up every day.then when she'd been there 4 monthes she was walking to lesson when she was grabbed from behind,they blacked both her eyes,broke her nose and fractured her cheek bone,the school nurse rang me and said that another girl had hit her in the face and she'd had a nose bleed,could i come to collect her has she need to change her clothes,my sister came with me to the school and nothing on this earth couldve prepared us for what we saw,she was head to foot in blood her eyes were turning black already,her long hair had been pulled out in chunks,school had not even called an ambulance,that was left to my sister to do,when the ambulance arrived the vice principle went to the ambulance drivers and told them it was nothing more than a nose bleed and sorry for wasting their time,they said they had to check any way because they'd been called out,they came in the room took one look at her and got the stretcher,the 3 girls involved were suspended for 10 days,the police charged them with ABH and they got a behaviour bond thats all.that happened just before the 6 weeks holiday,weve refused to let her go back to school,went to see the head teacher last friday and told him what a disgrace the school is,he denied knowing any thing about it,ive now contacted a soliciter and i intend to make sure everyone knows wha terrible school it is.my daughters only crime is that she wanted to study hard and this is the result.i dont know where we'll go from here,we just take it a day at a time,i keep an eye on her because you read so much about kids commiting suicide through bullying and i dont want her to become another satistic.

Debbie, That's really terrible, and leaves me virtually speechless with rage, that the schools and education authorities are so useless and spineless as to let behaviour like this happen and continue unchecked. It's similar to the horrific cases we read about in the press, when parents/ step-parents are charged and taken to court after a child is brutalised and eventually murdered, there is the usual hand-wringing by the powers that be, yet another committee investigates and publishes new "guidelines", and then absolutely nothing happens. I don't know what to suggest for the best. Writing to the school governors is one option; ditto to the chairman of the local education committee; chief education officer of the local authority; your MP; the education secretary in London (whoever that happens to be at present!); Tony Blair; etc, etc. Given your recent experiences, I think you're completely justified in bringing in a lawyer, with a view to possible court action. Sadly, unless brave people are prepared to stand up and be counted, nothing ultimately changes for the better. All the very best to you all, particularly your daughter, and please do assure her that we're all rooting for her. She will come through and be a fine young woman, and a credit to you all! Take care, Philip

My Son was bullied continually for ten years, from his 11th day in infants until he was 14 and a half. He even developed epilepsy due to the stress. I felt like I was giving the bullies permission to bully him by sending him to school every day. At the age of ten he questioned me about how many paracetamols it takes to kill yourself and he thought I hadn't realised why he was asking. It put so much stress on me, my husband and daughter too. The primary school and education authority were absolulely worthless, at one point we kept him home from school for six weeks. Comprehensive school were no better until we threatened to get the police involved, after we had been told we could take the school and children involved to court. The way it stopped for him was he started going to kickboxing classes, exercised, did weight training and this gave him some confidence, he still has down days, but on the whole he is doing brilliantly. He's nearly 18 now, did extremely well at hisGCSEs, AS levels, is taking his A levels, went to Aberystwyth University for six weeks in the summer, has lots of friends. As for the bullies, several were expelled, others left school with no qualifications and are the waste of space I told my son they would be. I've always told him, beat the bullies by doing well at school and getting a good life and he is achieving that, we are very proud of him. It's heartbreaking at the time, but hang on in there, it gets better. M.

thankyou for all of you that replyed to my thread.i am shocked and saddened that this is happening not just to my daughter but to other children.something needs to be done.debbie.if your daughter is being assulted and the school are not acting do what i did .go to the police and have them charged with assault.also i went to my M.P mike hancock.portsmouth and told him of the problems that had been occuring and the school or the education authority didn't want to know.things will get done about it.the police take a very dim view on assult in school.the school has a moral duty to take this matter into hand as your daughter is in their care when she is present in school.keep her off that's what i did.i have a brother-in -law that works for a national newspaper and where waiting for the education authorities to take me to court then i would have got in touch with the nationals.highlight your problem with your local paper .that's what alot of parents have done.name and shame the school.if anybody wants any more advice on bullying and what i done don't hesitate to email me.love and hugsxxxx(:

Glad you got the prob sorted and good for you for not sitting back and leaving up to the school to sort out???? I know that there are a lot of good schools out there, but this is just another horror story.... My son is now 14, but when he was 7 and going into a new class I told the teacher (like I always have quietly) that he has a spelling problem and Dyslexia runs in the family, later I found out that the teacher was calling him thick and stupid when he asked for help!!! with the teacher setting such a good example the children then started, my son then started to fly off the handle with others but only at school, after years of help he has now started to settle down, but we also found out that the said teacher was abusing other children GIRLS!!!!! YES YOU'VE GUESSED IT he has served time now and will never return to school...So when your child starts to show signs of different behaviour pay attention and start talking to them about their day and listen to what they don't say as well as what they do say. Bev

i really feel for these children.the early years determine their personalities and when it's undermined like that it effects them for the rest of their lives.do what i did though if any parent has a child that is getting bullied.the police have told me that verbal bullying is an offence and shouldn't be tolerated.if an adult is verbally or physically abused on the street the police get involved.it's the same with the children.if you think your child is being bullied sit down with them and try and find out if anything is bothering them.take them out of the house to somewhere neatural where they feel more at ease and ask them then.don't let them suffer in silencexxxx):

its disgusting, the poor girl, at least she has a mum like you who is on the ball enough to sort it. i was bullied for years when i was younger...my mum was also like you and wouldnt stand for it...but once one bully was sorted another one would creep up! all that didnt stop until i turned round and punched one of them back and absolutley decked the girl. Now no way am i saying that violence solves problems in any way but it solved it for me... my sister ruby has just turned 9 and would never hurt anybody, i live in a horrible area and there was some kids outside and i heard one of them call my sister a slag, a 9 year old girl, she had never even heard the word, so i chased the kids up the road with a baseball bat....she now loves to tell that story to all her mates at school, plus my bro is a police man so the kids really lay off her!!! as i said, violence should never be used to solve anything....but no, schools definatley do not do enough! send my love to your girl lisa, and all your kids being bullied, its an awful experiance and i think that i have never felt so low in my life as i did when it came to 10 o clock on a sunday night and i knew that i was at school the next day....these kids need to be sorted...x

nick the policy isn't worth the paper it's written on.as long as they have no record of bullying the school is deemed as a good oneuntil the problems come out of the woodwork.my niece was set upon by up to 40 childern ,punched in the face,thrown down the stairs and verballyand physically abused for 6 months .the school had recognition of this happening but blamed my niece and said that she was the trouble maker.she came out of school one day crying her heart out after someone had delibritly tore her uniform so my sister stormed up to the office where the staff room was and happened to see a letter unopened which she sent a few days before unopened because they could not be bothered to read it.i think the schools are failing these children just to save their own skins.but the outcome of some victims are far worse than bunking school and we all know what that isxxx):