General Chat

Hi Maz, I am sorry if my comments offended you, and i do understand your concerns about yound people being sheilded from some of the seamier aspects of life but in this instance i think that if more people yound and old know of the hell that an abused person suffers then maybe they could recognise the signs and get out before its to late . tina

Hi all And firstly - thanks to Maz for listening - I got Secretary Bird - someone I know and trust to post that message on my behalf. Malc did nothing wrong with his posting the first thread - what upset me on it was people saying WHY does the abused person not leave - I suffered flashbacks then and was very distraught - what I got SB tp post were actually some of the tamer things that happened - those of you that know me know that I am a very patient person and my greatest wish had been that this man who realise what he was doing. Sadly that wasnt the case - I forgave him all he did to me - its the ONLY way to move on in life - I may have forgiven him but I can never forget - I just hope he finds peace within himelf one day. I bear him no grudges. As most of you also know I have remarried to the kindest sweetest man - he bore the brunt of my tears tonight as I mourned for the losses - Paul cant understand how I can forgive - but it is not in my nature to bear grudges. I cannot say I hate the father of my children - he will always be their father and anyway - hate uses up too much energy - So please - dont judge people too harshly if they stay with an abusive partner - they could be like me and hoped that love would conquer everything - but were too terrified. she x

Hello all It was me that asked for the post to be deleted.. please note i said ASKED, not DEMANDED!! I was absolutely shocked by what I read and have the utmost respect for the person concerned, but as is often said in these boards, young people read this and I felt that such horror, should not have been so graphic.. I have spoken to the person and they do not seem to have a problem with my request. I am pleased that this person has been able to move on with their life and find a kind, caring person to share that life with and I wish them both as much happiness as life can bring them. With the greatest respect... Maz x

it really gets me so MAD, when another person can dictate what i can read on these posts, if i didnt like what i was reading i would pass on, the person who complained must have read secretary birds post from end to end to know all the graphic details and if that member found the details to unpalatable for them then they should have just scrolled down thats why crimes like these can go on as some people dont like the true facts to be aired

Tina I agree with you totally these things need to be spoken about Jo xx

secretary bird, only by your graphic detail can anyone realize what an abused person goes through, its your experience that you are sharing with those of us who have never been abused, and i applude you for your courage in telling your story,and once again one persons wishes have been panderd to no matter that the majority of us are in suport of you airing your story

Secretary Bird - l thought you were very brave to put your story on here and l thank you.Take care:o) jude sarf wales x

Malc did any one say they were offended by any of the posts on this subject?, if we dont have open debate on subjects like this it will always be swept under the carpet especially for the men who suffer at the hands of women. i myself have never been in a abusive relationship but i would like to understand why one person comits abuse and one person will endure the abuse, and like i said on your first post i have always said that if i was abused i would walk out, but never being put to the test would i i really dont know, anyone not in that situation doesnt know how they will react untill it happens

hi, do not apologise malc ! this is an important issue, and well worth discussing, sue.

Another member has asked me to remove my earlier reply to this thread as it was too graphic in detail.

trying to keep myself to myself, i was going to add something similar that domestic violence isnt just about partners, a lot of the time the children get involved aswell, whether it be knowing whats going on between your parents but not wanting to help cos you were scared, or actually getting any physical,verbal or mental abuse directed at yourself. which is harder because the more you want it sorted , the more you are scared to ask for help in case things go from bad to worse.

Hi Malc - l did'nt see the original thread either. It appears it was a great thread and you should'nt have to apologise. You were obviously talking about facts of life. Take care. Jude sarf wales x

i added to you original post and up untill i turned the comp off i hadnt seen anything upseting or hurtfull to anyone, its a shame you felt like you had to delete it, Domestic Violence no matter who is on the recieving end should not be brushed under the carpet

David Owen I totally agree with you Maz x

Malcom You've nothing to apologise for - people who have no experience of domestic violence need to hear about it from those who have to gain an understanding of it. David

Malc I also didnt see your thread,but can guess what it was about.Not from a personal point of view but has an observer I have seen domestic violence from both sides of the spectrum, and there are lots of men who suffer from it as well as women.Unfortunately there are a lot of people who push there partners into violence too,verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Dave

Barbara so sorry my love, yes I personally believe some woman and I repeat some are like this they need locking up for everyones safety Jo xx

Malc I didn't see the thread, so don't know what was said, but as a victim of domestic violence many years ago, as well as knowing a good male friend who suffered from it, i know it is a very emotive subject. I am sure having read your threads in the past you meant no harm, and had a reason for whatever you said. Please don't feel too badly, its just a hard subject for some of us to deal with. You are one of the good guys :-) Yvette xx

True Barbara, there are these women. I've known them in my lifetime, and very proud they are too of their abillity to cause trouble. deanna

It is true that some of us have no understanding of the violence that can occur, cannot even begin to comprehend the abuse, but that does not mean it should not be debated! Maz x