General Chat

Mike - Both!b

I have to say that I find it extremely hard to make friends - I'm a loner and I can come across as aloof and reserved. Something happened to me some years ago and, since then, I have found it very hard to trust people, mainly but not exclusively, in a work situation. The friends I do have all go back to school or college and I don't see them often, if at all! I haven't made any lasting friends since I moved back to the west country over 10 years ago. For me, a friend is one who listens, understands, doesn't judge and can share a laugh or cry. A good friendship will also survive a holiday together!

Found this on the Net which says a few things! 1. Friends don't have to be exactly the same. Friends have similarities but they also have their differences. They key to opening up the world of friendship is not only to expand on similarities but to accept each other's faults. Because you can't ever judge your friend. 2. Friends have to argue! No one likes to but it is necessary to be healthy. Cause if you agree on everything, either the government has expanded cloning subjects or someone isn't being true and is trying a little too hard. 3. You have to be comfortable together or else you just aren't going to click. If you feel edgy around the person then something isn't quite right. 4. Friends love unconditionally. They have there little angry moments but what's done is done and all is forgive and forget. Why let something that happened in the past ruin what happiness you could have in the future? 5. Believe in love at first sight because there is the equivalent in friendship. Some people think that you have to know someone really well to become good friends. Trust me, it's not true. If the first time you really spend time together you talk for 25 hours straight until 4:30 in the morning about some topic you thought no one else in the world understood, hun, that's real love at first sight. These are only a few of the basics. Just remember, friends are forever. But only if you keep it that way. Don't diss your buds, love them instead. And when they drive you nuts, love them that much more for being just a little bit different and maybe just a little bit quirky! Davex

3 of my friends are what I class as really good friends. They're there when I need to talk and they're there for a laugh as well. They're there through the good times and the bad times. All of us are there for each other. Sarah, xxx

Recieved this - There are freindships that date back to schooldays and those that grow fromsmiles and noddings round the shops.And sudden friendships-like the day the river rose ans slid beneath the doors and down the passageways,while we all sloshed from room to room and built up pyramids of furniture, the cat marooned on the piano top with the encyclopedia and music tapes, the carpets bubbling and heavy underlay. The water left at last,fast as an emptying bathtib- and left a soggy desolation.Slit and weed and stench. And then you appeared. A total stranger. Mop.Bucket. Brandy bottle,Grinned and said'Where do i start?' Years and yearsand years ago. And still my friend. Raggy Bear x A friend in need is a friend indeed.

I have one particular friend who, on occasions, can be 'difficult'. But some years back, I was going through a really bad crisis and was on my own. She knew I would be awake all night, so at 3am she arrived (in dressing gown)! and with two bottles of wine. She had travelled across London, by taxi, just to be with me, whereas other friends just sent me a card or phone call to commiserate. I have never forgotten that, and to my mind it sums what I would give to a friend and also what I would expect.

Just being there. :o) My three oldest (from primary school) best friends droppped everything (even travelled across a county), phoned me every night, came for sleep overs, were there when I called them a 3.00am at a point of crisis in my life. You don't want repayments for favours, who's counting? If you don't see each other for a while you don't get 'where the h*** have you been, I haven't seen you for ages'! You just get 'great to see you, how have you been'. I have known my oldest friend since I grew up next door to her from the age of 10 months old. (I am now 30) we have shared a LOT (too much to go into) but we have always tried to be there for each other, even if not physically, then by letters, phone calls, e-mails. It is sooooo nice to have someone who you don't have to explain yourself too, but you can just be yourself and they know everything about you and love you anyway. :o) Love my friends. Claire xx

This last Friday evening the phone rang and it was a friend I haven't seen for nearly four years. Of course we were on for ages 'catching up on all the news'. We dont usually go this long but it has been known for it to be a couple of years between 'meetups' and when we get together, it's has though we have never been apart. Next week, we are having a meal together, thats if we can pause from talking long enough to eat, lol. To me, a friend is someone you can open up to and they will never let you down and of course you treat them the same. Its strange how life is, because recently, someone I thought was my friend, has let me down, and out of the blue, this old friend of thirty years, has contacted me again. June xx

David, I agree with what most people have said, being truthful is the first thing for me, though. I think a true friend will go with you through the good and bad times in your life. I have friends,who I can count on one hand, just like She has, even if you haven't seen them for ages, it is like yesterday when you speak / meet up. The phone bills are usually horrendous lol !!! Sue :))

goodmorning everyone when there is something wrong then you fand she will help in any wayind out your true friends are i had two and when iwas getting divoiced ,had no were to go i ask one friend and she didnt want to upset my husband,so i ask my other friend and she just said yes no questions no taking sides,and we have been friends 41 years ,i bring her over to the netherlands twice ayear and we ring each other 3 times aweek,and she will help you no matter what and its ditto for me as well ,now thats friendship.joyce

Hi David, A true friend knows all the bad stuff about you but loves you all the same. I have 3 really close female friends, two from schooldays and one who I met when our sons were babies. I live miles from all of them now but when I meet them it is as though we were together yesterday. My other best friend died 3 years ago next month. We had been friends for 20 years and clicked the moment we met. We knew and kept each other's secrets and relied on each other for support and advice. He was always there to pick me up when the world threw nasty stuff at me and I tried to be there for him. He was one of the funniest people I have ever known and he could make me laugh until I cried. I still miss him every day. Gwynne

I think Martin Luthor King said it in those great words of his 'In the end it is not the words of our enemies we will remember,but the silence of our friends'. Dave

A friend - someone I can trust and feel safe with. Some people you just instantly click with - have met a few on here - and when I have met them face to face it has been the same. Have a friend I have known since I was 4 and a half years old and we are still good firends - dont see each other very often , but can pick up the phone and continue the conversation from where we left off. I know a lot of people, but am close to only a few - I wont allow my defences down with ,most as I dont know them well enough . Sadly I have had the ultimate betrayal from a so called friend a few years ago - but STILL she contacts me - only to see what is going on in my life - but I dont let her know anything :-) My mother used to call these people fair weather friends - only there when things were going well in your life but nowhere to be seen when you really needed a friend.

I think everyone seems to agree about true friends.... Tell the truth....even if it hurts at the time just be there to comfort. Accept the truth ....even if it hurts and still be friends. Someone who is always there for you no matter what. Someone you can tell things to and know it will stay with her/him. Trust. My best friend and I met when we were 11 - 44 yrs later we are still best friends. I agree that you may not meet a true friend until later in life but it will be worth the wait. Jacquie

I learned.......and am still doing so.......... And hope I will still........learn to trust......... Difficult though when your 'so called' friends come back to 'ask your advice' What would you want to say?

I may sound naive saying this but there are certain people I've just clicked with.People I've never met or even spoken too but still they're like kindred spirits (you know who you are!). I've made some bad decisions (I put it down to lack of wisdom) but I have had my life enriched by people of every colour and creed etc. I'm a very lucky girl to have such amazing friends! love becx

I understand about the best friend that you haven't actually met David - some people might be disbelieving - but you can have a cyber friend in much the same way as those you meet face to face. I think you DO get to know people if you chat to them often enough. Much as if you were talking to someone 'in the flesh' - you pick up on untruths or variances in what they are telling you. Sincerity does come through. Magsxx

Oooooh David - a man that understands! LOL I think there is nothing worse than people taking you 'under their wing' in the guise of friendship....Patting you on the back with one hand and stabbing you in it with the other! LOL Stelly - You can find good friends at any age. My 'oldest' friend I met when I was 11 but it took me another 40 odd years to meet a true soul mate. Magsxx

A true friend is someone you can trust and share things with. Someone who will be honest with you. Someone who will call just to say hi, or pop in for a visit because they want to see you. Not someone who only calls or visits because they want or need something.

lol Daniel - yr scary