General Chat

This last Friday evening the phone rang and it was a friend I haven't seen for nearly four years. Of course we were on for ages 'catching up on all the news'. We dont usually go this long but it has been known for it to be a couple of years between 'meetups' and when we get together, it's has though we have never been apart. Next week, we are having a meal together, thats if we can pause from talking long enough to eat, lol. To me, a friend is someone you can open up to and they will never let you down and of course you treat them the same. Its strange how life is, because recently, someone I thought was my friend, has let me down, and out of the blue, this old friend of thirty years, has contacted me again. June xx

Just being there. :o) My three oldest (from primary school) best friends droppped everything (even travelled across a county), phoned me every night, came for sleep overs, were there when I called them a 3.00am at a point of crisis in my life. You don't want repayments for favours, who's counting? If you don't see each other for a while you don't get 'where the h*** have you been, I haven't seen you for ages'! You just get 'great to see you, how have you been'. I have known my oldest friend since I grew up next door to her from the age of 10 months old. (I am now 30) we have shared a LOT (too much to go into) but we have always tried to be there for each other, even if not physically, then by letters, phone calls, e-mails. It is sooooo nice to have someone who you don't have to explain yourself too, but you can just be yourself and they know everything about you and love you anyway. :o) Love my friends. Claire xx

I have one particular friend who, on occasions, can be 'difficult'. But some years back, I was going through a really bad crisis and was on my own. She knew I would be awake all night, so at 3am she arrived (in dressing gown)! and with two bottles of wine. She had travelled across London, by taxi, just to be with me, whereas other friends just sent me a card or phone call to commiserate. I have never forgotten that, and to my mind it sums what I would give to a friend and also what I would expect.

Recieved this - There are freindships that date back to schooldays and those that grow fromsmiles and noddings round the shops.And sudden friendships-like the day the river rose ans slid beneath the doors and down the passageways,while we all sloshed from room to room and built up pyramids of furniture, the cat marooned on the piano top with the encyclopedia and music tapes, the carpets bubbling and heavy underlay. The water left at last,fast as an emptying bathtib- and left a soggy desolation.Slit and weed and stench. And then you appeared. A total stranger. Mop.Bucket. Brandy bottle,Grinned and said'Where do i start?' Years and yearsand years ago. And still my friend. Raggy Bear x A friend in need is a friend indeed.

3 of my friends are what I class as really good friends. They're there when I need to talk and they're there for a laugh as well. They're there through the good times and the bad times. All of us are there for each other. Sarah, xxx

Found this on the Net which says a few things! 1. Friends don't have to be exactly the same. Friends have similarities but they also have their differences. They key to opening up the world of friendship is not only to expand on similarities but to accept each other's faults. Because you can't ever judge your friend. 2. Friends have to argue! No one likes to but it is necessary to be healthy. Cause if you agree on everything, either the government has expanded cloning subjects or someone isn't being true and is trying a little too hard. 3. You have to be comfortable together or else you just aren't going to click. If you feel edgy around the person then something isn't quite right. 4. Friends love unconditionally. They have there little angry moments but what's done is done and all is forgive and forget. Why let something that happened in the past ruin what happiness you could have in the future? 5. Believe in love at first sight because there is the equivalent in friendship. Some people think that you have to know someone really well to become good friends. Trust me, it's not true. If the first time you really spend time together you talk for 25 hours straight until 4:30 in the morning about some topic you thought no one else in the world understood, hun, that's real love at first sight. These are only a few of the basics. Just remember, friends are forever. But only if you keep it that way. Don't diss your buds, love them instead. And when they drive you nuts, love them that much more for being just a little bit different and maybe just a little bit quirky! Davex

I have to say that I find it extremely hard to make friends - I'm a loner and I can come across as aloof and reserved. Something happened to me some years ago and, since then, I have found it very hard to trust people, mainly but not exclusively, in a work situation. The friends I do have all go back to school or college and I don't see them often, if at all! I haven't made any lasting friends since I moved back to the west country over 10 years ago. For me, a friend is one who listens, understands, doesn't judge and can share a laugh or cry. A good friendship will also survive a holiday together!

Mike - Both!b

Trust, laughter, honesty, shoulder to cry on (if needed), a rock in times of trouble. Linda was that - four months on I miss her so much. I like to think I was all those things to her also. Ann

Have found out recently what good friends I have. They will stand by you through thick and thin and never say 'I told you so' or judge you. They will drop everything to be with you in times of trouble. They will listen and hug and dry your tears. I am soo lucky to have so many good friends - 3 from school who I am still very close to - have known 2 them over 30 years (must've met before we were born ...) some from toddler groups, known them 8 years or so, then others from school or work. Then of course there is all you lot on here - I can't imagine being without this fantastic group of people - a worldwide support network and some of the nicest people I have ever come across. I am a person who dislikes very few people, but will form a strong bond very quickly with those I like - especially if they share my bonkers sense of humour. Maz. XX ps I like you TOO David!!

For some reason I never have had many friends :-( I call myself 'Billy no mates', because its true :-( I have quite alot of cyber pals, a few of them I've actually met, but I dont have many 'real' friends, and the majority of the friends I do have are males. I miss being able to have girlie chats, the going out clothes shopping and just being able to be myself :-( Karen

Someone - honest, trustworthy with u thru good and bad, a laugh somone thru tears, tempers tants, all the good times and not say a word about anything to anyone else.

Daniel , David Me to - a horse head can do the trick or a rooster nailed to the door is a good one. Mess with me and me mess with me family!!!!

I agreed with Dave as in Martin Luther King - the silence is the key. I hope I stand up and be counted for my friends in good and bad

Thanks for answering everyone:) Mike - I think you can make friends just as well via the internet - it's just another method of communication and needs caution the same as mixing with people in the real world. I've met a few people from the site and some I'd had a fair bit of contact with beforehand. Wierd thing was that they didn't look much like I'd imagined or come across the way I thought they would but by the time I'd left them I felt about them as I expected too. Sheila - you didn't come across as aloof or reserved when I met you - thought you might be shy but you were really pleasant:) Karen - it's difficult when it just doesn't happen isn't it - I've always been quite sociable and have a lot of casual/pub mates but don't form close friendships easily either. Maz - I knew you were a woman of taste;)

Hmmmm ... great minds... Just like Dilly, I've recently met someone online who has had a significant impact on me. She tells it like it is and takes no s*** which sometimes I need! She also cracks me up and makes me pmsl which we all need every now and then!! Hopefully we'll meet in person but regardless of the origin of our friendship we'll hopefully be lifelong friends now! Love becx

My bestest friend Yvonne, (I've known her since I was 12) is a combination of all of the above - but above all i know i can TRUST her with my life!! She not only knows where the bodies are buried, she's also buried a few for me!! :O) Yvonne - I LOVE YOU GIRL AND ALWAYS WILL!! Thanks for being my ROCK!! :O)

Someone who can make me laff out loud for no apparent reason. Also, when you've not seen them for long periods of time, when you meet back up and you just fall back into your normal routine. I had 3 very close friends at school; Ant who i went all thru all of my schooling with, and was in every single class all of the way thru; Colin lovely fella who everyone thought was v. quiet, but oh how wrong they were; and finally Heather or 'H' as she is now known my best friend of all. When we left school we all went in different directions, but promised to keep in touch. Of course it didn't really happen. About 5 years ago when H was pregnant with her 1st we got back in touch briefly, but nothing really came of it. I missed so much of Rowan's early baby days and i regret that everytime i see the little sod! 2 years ago when she fell pregnant with the 2nd one, she got back in touch and thankfully, this time, we've been in touch ever since. Her little girl is 1 in a fortnight and i'm now known as 'Aunty Claire'. 2 weeks ago, while out taking part of our local pub qiuz Ant stumbled into the pub and spotted us. It was like we'd never been apart! 10 years down the line and nothing had changed. He spent all night with us, missing the party that he was supposed to be going to! Last week, H and me walked into the pub (again for the quiz) and there sitting in the corner was Ant and none other than Colin (poor little bugger had been dragged out with no notice!) 10 years after leaving school, thinking that i'd never see them again, we're sitting together like we'd never been apart. That's what friendship is about. c x

hiya david .i agree with you all. that trust is top of my list too.My best friend is 35 yrs younger than me( i have known her mam for donkeys years.)she is a single mam of 3 works full time and she always finds time for me.we have a good laugh together and we no our secrets are exactly that. i tell her things i would not tell my sister(mind you my sister is a bit of a prude ) lol x

David, My friends come into all the categories you've mentioned. They are few in number, but each has at least one of those things in common with me. I also think it's important to be able to tolerate each other's differences of opinion. To me, a real friend is someone you can trust, who doesn't let you down without a very good reason, and someone you feel comfortable with. There are 30- and 20-year age gaps between myself and two of my best friends, but it makes no difference to how we get on. CB >|<