General Chat

Nicky - I think I will leave it until the morning, and then speak to his sister, I will tell her that the reason I HAVEN'T gone to the police is because I care about the family BUT if he continues contacting me then I will do, and get an injunction if I have to. thanks for your input honey, love becx

If it was me i would call them now! that would teach him, but if you really feel you can't and your sure your safe tonight then you must speak to his family and make sure they understand you WILL phone the police and show them the threats Nicky.x

Thanks Liz Peter - It's like dealing with a child who calls Wolf. I don't believe he'd necessarily do anything BUT he needs to learn he CANNOT threaten vulnerable people (he knows how I feel about living on my own). A telling off from his parents will make no difference, I just wonder whether a visit from the Police might make him realise he's an adult and needs to face the consequences... becx

Night Bec, hope you manage to get some sleep. I know you are closely involved with his family and are in a difficult position but he has to back off and leave you alone, once and for all. Tke care, Liz x

Nicky - Yes I'm still very close to them (eg. saw them at a social function on Friday and his dad said how they still love me as a daughter and are there for me whenever I need them), hence why I feel bad putting them through the stress of seeing their son being cautioned by the police etc. Feel really stuck! becx

If you think he would do it - call the cops. If you think he is being stupid call his parents - then call the cops Peter

Bec, does he live with his parents? Nicky.x

Liz - he's been quiet for a while now and he's working early so he's probably in bed. Will speak to his sister tomorrow and think about going to the police. I'm sure he wouldn't do anything (the security at my flats is iron-tight) but he needs to learn he can't threaten me! Thanks for caring, love becx

Bec - stop being so bl**dy thoughtful and nice, and call the Police. He needs a fright, maybe then his family will make him seek help to sort himself out. He is no longer your responsibility and your first concern must be to yourself and your family. Do you want to be another statistic or write-up in the paper? Do other people live near you? If he is depressed or drunk or both, he is capable of anything and should be stopped. You will be doing him and his family a favour if you stop him now, before he gets into worse trouble. Sorry to be harsh, but for heaven's sake, phone. I once had to drive off in the night in my nightie to the Samaritans office for them to call the Police when I was being threatened by an ex who had talked his way into my flat and then started threatening me. The Police came back with me and went in to see him and he had tidied up and tried to tell them it was me went for him with a knife, which he had put under the pillow on my bed. Luckily they knew him of old and took him off to his brother's house so I was safe that evening. Please Bec stop us all worrying and call the cops. (Might get a hunky one who would frighten him away and be your protector!!)

Bec whether you think he is capable of doing it or not,put a stop to it now he will get a caution and maybe that will be enough. as for his family,maybe he feels threatened himself because you have stayed so friendly with them,would it be such a bad thing if they took his side? if they thought anything of you they would understand if they don't then you don't really need them in your life either. please give the police a ring and keep all the text messages. take care Nicky.x

Lemon - go to bed! Nicky - exactly! My fears are the same. He once tried to push me down a ditch (I was sober he was drunk) yet when it was mentioned to his family they thought it was funny. I know he is depressed (as am I) but to threaten me has moved things a stage further. As I've said before, I don't THINK he'd do anything.... but I'm the one living alone not him! He seems to be very self-destructive right now, and he's my ex (of a year) so I don't feel he should be taking it out on me. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to cause him or his family any pain, but he needs a sharp, swift kick up the backside and noone will give him it! xx

Bec - call the police now, don't wait till tomorrow. You cannot take chances with this idiot, and if he is cautioned by the Police, he can then be picked up if he does it again, and you can get an injunction against him making contact, or the Police (Court) will stop him bothering you by making his freedom a condition that he leaves you alone. His family sound decent enough to understand that you cannot live under this pressure. I know it is difficult but you and your family are more precious than their feelings. I am sure that they will back you tho. Just phone now and ask them what you should do.

Liz - I have a fantastic landlady (been here almost 2 years and they've never raised the rent!) and they come around and check all my detectors etc are working. He'd NEVER (I don't think) do anything but the fact that he feels he has the right to threaten a woman living on her own is despicable in my mind! I think I will go to the police tomorrow and report his threats so they have them on file. Truth be told... what he needs is a good smack from someone bigger and stronger than him (not me I'm afraid)... then he'd learn not to threaten vulnerable people. xx

Don't let this put you off but i was threatened quite a few years ago now,and i walked into our local police station after this person mounted the pavement driving straight for me and the response was, well madam did the vehicle actually stike you (no) well then they have not actually broken the law then,feel free to come back if this should happen!!! Nicky.x

BEC....really got to go but will be worrying for you....now get the bloody police! We all think people wont do this or that...some do...now love do it! Gotta go my man just home from work....BEC....listen to me....I am not messing do not chance it! Love Lem....please honey I am scared for you....I gotta go XXXXXX

Bec - also please do take out insurance as soon as you can - it is so necessary as it would cost you a lot to replace everything you have, if there was water damage from a burst pipe or a breakin etc and it would lessen the worry for you a bit if that happened. Also if you have a hallway and front door that is accessible to the public get a smoke detector. Always better to be on the safe side, even if you weren't being threatened.

Liz - I can't call them now. I need to calm down, he's already sent me a text saying that he's going to ruin all our mutual friend's lives (including his sister and her husband) and mine... He needs to know once and for all he cannot behave like this. He's 21 going on 12 and it's disgraceful! I'm really tempted to go to the police tomorrow and show them, but don't want to upset his parents, they're truly decent people who are still loyal to me to this day. becx

Lemon - I'm sure his sister and her husband will laugh it off and say he's not serious. Truth be told he PROBABLY isn't, but I'm scared he's mentioned my family, he knows where they live. To threaten me is one thing... but them... that's not on. He KNOWS I'd never hurt his family (I'd never hurt anyone)I LOVE his family. He needs his wrists smacked for threatening a vulnerable woman (me) but his parents and family won't, they'll let him get away with it... so he'll probably do it again! becx

Bec - phone the police right now and ask them to come out. You can't take chances and if his family are nice people, which they must be if they have stayed friendly with you despite their t**t of a relative, then I am sure they will understand your caution. I will be here for a little longer so if you need to talk, then contact me. Please take care.

He will then know that your not going to put up with threats,and if you get on that well with his family i'm sure they would understand that he can not behave like this and get away with it. Nicky.x