General Chat

David , Don,t get me wrong i am not against same sex couples my husbands friend for many years is himself gay ,I am just not convinced that same sex couples sould be allowed to adopt . Yes fair enough some children may have been better of without one of there parents but when you are a child growing up with out one or the other unless you have been there you don,t really understand what goes through there mind . This is only based on my experience as a child .Maybe someone else that has grow up with out a mother or a father has a different opinion . Cath

I think that the advantage of this law change is that there is more opportunity for an unwanted child to be placed within a household that suits their needs - so that whatever the make up of the household the child has the best chance of a secure and loving environment. If a single parent, unmarried couple or same sex couple can offer a certain child as much or more stability than a married heterosexual couple the it's all to the good. Sorry Cath - missed your reply:) I grew up with two parents so can't comment on your first point except to say that I do know of some families who would have been better off without one or other of their parents:) About yr second point - no, I don't think there's much chance that a child brought up by a same sex couple would be more likely to be gay. For most people sexuality is something they are born with and is little altered by nurture. Apart from being gay myself, I've known many other gay people brought up by heterosexual people and that hasn't made any of us straight:) Rugby Widow I have heard of one case in the States where a young gay teenager (14 or 15 I think) was adopted by a gay couple. He was an emotionally damaged child and his biological family were physically abusive and also homophobic so the adoption allowed him to be nurtured in a more stable, loving and positive environment. He was doing very well after a year or two but I don't know what happened to him in adulthood:)

David - You're far more articulate than me, I totally agree with everything you've said!

Bec, Nobody can argue about love. I am certain that the natural way of things is for there to be a mum and a dad. Anything less reduces the chance of a 'normal' upringing. I fully realise many one-parent families do an excellent job, but it is not the ideal. That,s me finished on this thread. best wishes Happy days

David , In response to you saying some people had not put there reasons on why same sex couples should not be allowed to adopt . 1 - I grew up with out a father and although we never wanted for anything it was hard to understand why i did not have a mother and a father Children especially when they are young do not understand and they have enough to deal with these days . 2 -I personaly think that if they grow up in a same sex situation surely that is the way they will think they will have to be instead of being who they really are . I know that a lot of people will not agree with me .but if every one thought the same things then this world would be one hell of a boring place . Cath

Hello David :0) I totally disagree that children NEED both a mother and a father. I have friends who have grown up in one parent families due to bereavment and divorce and they are mostly more stable than the people I know who were brought up with two parents. The most important person in the whole situation is the child and their happiness!

Hmmm... I am not comfortable with the idea that unmarried couples can adopt. If a couple jointly take on a lifelong commitment to a child then they should combine that with a commitment to support each other too. I do not mind if this is a civil or religious declaration. Individuals adopting sits OK with me too. The resposibility to care for the child remains with that individual, despite relationship faliures, much as a mother or father in more mundane circumstances. What are the pros and cons of same sex couples adopting? I don't think hetrosexual couples generally advertise their sex life to their children. Why would a same sex couple be any different? - or is it the stigma of having two Mums/Dad's? (although with step-families, having a handful of extras is becoming the extended family norm :o) Can anyone give an informed view on same sex couple adoption? RW

I agree with Harry on this.

David, Respect your argument, but i feel IDEALLY a child should have both a mum and a dad. There is not even a chance of that with same sex adoptions. Happy days

Hi Bec Interesting subject this:) Perhaps obviously, I am glad that the adoption laws have changed so that there is less discrimination in who can adopt. As long as children can be adopted into households where they are going to be loved and nurtured I can't see that any other considerations matter. Perhaps there should also be a relaxation of the rules concerning lifestyles, age and physical matters such as weight etc where some councils rule people out on these grounds alone. But what needs to be remembered is that adoption should exist for the adoptees more than for the adopters. Unfortunately many people who want to adopt are only interested in adopting healthy babies and - as Jess said - there are very few British born babies in need of adoption. However there are so many children in long term foster care or in childrens homes who come with special needs - either physically, mentally or emotionally - but these appeal to less people. It would be nice if some of those who will be allowed to adopt under the changes will be encouraged to adopt some of the kids no-one else wants. It's interesting to see that people who have said they are against same sex couples adopting haven't given any reason. I know several same sex couples who are raising/ have raised children (as well as many unmarried ones) and they make as good and as bad a job as everyone else. David

Unmarried couples yes as long as they have been together for a number of years and they are truly comitted as married couples are . Same sex couples no . cath

I would put down my views on this but better not cos it will offend.

This can only be a good a thing surely....... I agree with elaine if the child is to placed in a loving unit only good can come of this surely? We lost the normal family cell/unit in society a very long time ago ie Mum, Dad and siblings. There is no norm these days. Love, Warmth & Stability are the basic building blocks . Much happiness Debi

Jess - I have no idea but would be very interested to know. I think as long as a couple are going to offer the child a stable, loving and safe home then it doesn't matter what sexuality they are or whether they're married or not! Married couples and heterosexual couples are not necessarily always good parents!

I know what every County council/adoption agency is concerned they need to be stringent in their selection, but even so, the number of couples that get thru the selection process ~ which is very VERY tough~ still far outweigh the number of children availible for adoption. How many babies do you estimate my local county council had availible for adoption last year? I dont mean children, i mean babies under 1 year? have a guess! Jess

I don,t feel the need to apologise for saying that same sex partners should not be allowed to adopt. Happy days

Personally, i think the laws should be changed to the advantage of the adopted. Unmarried should also be able to adopt, same-sex?, well, for me that i cannot agree to, sorry if that offends but it is the way I feel. Micheal.

I think, If a child is received into a warm and happy family, it matters not if they are a same sex couple or unmarried. Lets hope more children get the chance as more couples apply to adopt. Especially those older children or those with disabilities, who sometimes get bypassed for small children or babies. Elaine x

always have been in my county , certainly unmarried couples anyway

Unmarried and same-sex couples can now adopt children together for the first time, as part of the biggest overhaul of adoption laws for 30 years. What do you think?