General Chat

Im 40 this year (groan creak) What people of my generation cease to remember that they was once the younger generation whose parents began each sentance with 'In my day' or 'The kids of today'. IWhen I was growing up in the 70's I knew of plenty of 'Bad' kids, Im talking about theives, family gangs and bullies. I remember one lad at primary school, he was the class thug, he had the cane more times than I can remember, It diddnt stop him from being bad, In fact, it diddnt stop any of the people I remember as being thugs at school. One lad died at 18 after drowning after being chased by cops.. They were bad children who grew into bad adults. I was smacked as a child, a smack not a hit...and not very often. Ive smacked my children when younger, alough taking privelidges away now works better now they are older. If you are bad, you are bad, regardless if you are smacked, beaten, or not. The youth of today are taught more social skills, manners etc at school that we ever were, I for one think the majority of young people get a rough deal bercause of a small minority. Elaine x

Diane, You posted your reply as I posted mine. You make my point exactly. Thank you. I really feel for you and your family. Best wishes, Felicity

My daughter works in a home for children whose parents are unable to control them. Obviously she cannot touch them but they can touch her - she has been thrown down onto the floor and kicked, has had a broken thumb, been half strangled and often has bruises on her body where they have just hit her. If these kids had been disciplined properly when they were small they might have made a decent life for themselves. Instead they're just mindless little thugs ( of both sexes).

Isn't it true that what works in one instance doesn't work in others? There are plenty of people who were never smacked as children and whose parents used other forms of discipline and reasoning but who still commit crimes and have no respect for anyone. They often have brothers and sisters who responded well to their parents methods. I've met plenty of people like that but they don't tend to speak up in discussions like these. When children get to be adults they are then responsible for making their own choices. I also know adults who look at the way they were brought up and how they behaved as children and decide to change. Haven't many of us said when young adults 'I'd never let MY child behave like that' and then found it's not so easy when you have one of your own? Some would say that the adults in a childs world ultimately only offer guidance and the child eventually makes their own decisions as to how to live their life in adulthood. As for 'it happens more nowadays' - of course it does, as the population has increased by many percentage points and people behave more badly in larger numbers not less so. This issue is far too complicated for there to be one easy answer - to smack or not to smack is not the question. :-)

If only it was so easy to find the answers. I have 3 sons 30, 20, 14 They have lived with two parents in a loving comfortable home None of our sons have been beaten by us or school, they have been rewarded for good behaviour and privileges with drawn when not so good. The eldest son has never been in any sort of trouble in or out of the home and lives a respectable life with his wife and two small children. Our second son also has never been in any trouble, he is at university training to be a junior school teacher. But the youngest aged 14 is a living nightmare he has no respect for us or anyone else he hates school so much so he has been excluded he has had runnings with the police, he hates the word no and smash's any thing in sight if you don't give in to him, witch we don't very often. (some times you just have to) He steals from us so we have to make sure all money and valuables are locked away. He stays up all night on the phone, computer, cooking and eating. Smokes in the bed room even th'o we beg him not to. He is not on Drugs i no that for sure. ( i have him tested ) We can't leave him in the house alone as he has all his friends round and they are as bad as him. We have tried everything to work out why he is like this, and still haven't got any answers. We have had many a talk with the so called professionals, you really have to wonder some times where they get the idea's from. We as a family are being torn apart by his behaviour. If only the answers were bottled i would buy a create full.

I don't think smacking children is the answer. The lack of discipline and respect today stems from parents being unable to say NO and meaning it. As a childminder for 25 years I always found the 'naughty' step worked miracles. It was only used if a child was violent towards another or in extreme cases of misbehaviour. I found most of the time if I raised my voice it was enough to make the child realise they had overstepped the mark. Saying that, I did look after some wonderful children. It was the parents I had problems with. lol Jean x.

Daniel, when you were being brought up your parents obviously instilled some social ethics in you. They benifited from that with the lovely young man you have become. BUT.... There are many who don't, and then they wonder why their children go astray. We had rules, not necessarily canes or belts, but we certainly knew the bounderies. I knew my daddy would kill me stone dead if I did anything wrong... how did I know? He never did kill me stone dead!! We just had the rules. Deanna X

I agree and disagree! I was smacked when I was little, not hit though, the smacks I got where usually on my leg or backside! It never did me any harm. Ive smacked my children when they have been really naughty. So I agree with smacking(not hitting). But I would never dream of using any thing to smack my kids with! Most of my friends do the same as me. But at the end of the day its up to the parents/guardians of the child. What gets me mad is people classing a smack on the leg or backside as hitting. I think there is a difference. x karen

PS: Presentation on Wednesday Gwynne. Teacher was off.

Exactly. It's MY generation being discussed so surely MY viewpoint should go some way to form your opinion. Just the other day Fred on here mentioned how a group of 40 + year old men got into a violent fight over snowballs in a car park. What went wrong there? Maybe not hit quite hard enough.

I noticed your reply, Daniel,But I am afraid that it is YOUR generation that is being discussed, Trouble, is that violence is hardly ever PLANNED, it becomes second nature, to some. and they do not see any wrong in beating someone up. Bob

I see my reply has bee looked over. Shame as it's really only one of a few answers you'll get from someone who's actually amongst the the so-called carange.

I agree, the threat of being caned at school or smacked at home was enough to make me behave.. I also agree with National Service for the little darlings. Lets get discipline back.

bring back national service and give 'em some discipline. works in other countrys

I do agree it never did us any harm, Lil PS and if we did get into trouble at school or told off by a neighbour we didnt tell are parents as they would tell you off too

I Agree with you Malcolm it never done me or my 8 siblings any harm, I was never beaten at home or school but i knew the threat was there. June x

I don't agree with physical punishment but there are definitely no consequencies to bad behaviour,especially at school.Last year my son told me he was going to start turning up for school late and being naughty in lessons because the kids that always turned up late got 'prizes' for improved punctuality,and the 'naughty' kids got taken to Asda and bought books and felt tips when their behaviuor improved.He wanted to know why he never got rewarded for always behaving and never turning up late. I just said he had to be pleased with himself for always trying his best,but I don't think it helps when they see bad behaviour 'rewarded'

Well I've never been hit by any teacher and I haven't got any plans to murder anyone, rob old people or commit random acts of arson.

I agree fully Malcolm Been saying the same thing years Paul

I see that a few times the word 'beating' being used in this thread. The very word brings violence to mind. On the other hand when I was young I recall that my brothers and I were 'smacked' for wrong-doings and that didn't mean that we lost respect for our parents or that we loved them less but did make us think whether we should do that again. At school there was always the threat of the cane but, in my opinion, made us respect our teachers more. The problem today is not only a lack of strict discipline but kids are given so much lea-way within the law be that aggression to any degree against parents, teachers or just about anybody and they know they can get away with it.